Top 20 Gayest Video Game Characters - #3
3. Joachim Valentine – Shadow Hearts: Covenant
I hardly know where to begin with this one, there’s so much. In 2004 Shadow Hearts: Covenant was released, and if you saw #4 in our countdown, you already saw that there were very obvious gay NPC characters in this game. Aside from them, though, one of the main playable characters, Joachim Valentine, slowly inches his way out of the closet as the game progresses. Although the clues he leaves behind leave little to wonder about.
There’s his alter ego, pro wrestler Grande Papillon, which translated means “Big Butterfly”, and his mask is a big Mardi Gras style butterfly mask. You can change to Grande Papillion by two methods, you can either wait for the golden showers line and the rainbow flag line in your power meter to cross each other OR you can make it happen instantly by taking a rare item named “Getitup” The description of the Getitup pills directly from the game: It is the Long-awaited medicine that makes you young again. Expansion exceeds 400%, so avoid overdosing. It causes increased excitement and physical transformation. Sounds like Viagra to me…
Find out more about Joachim and the infamous Man Festival after the jump!
3. Joachim Valentine – Shadow Hearts: Covenant
I hardly know where to begin with this one, there’s so much. In 2004 Shadow Hearts: Covenant was released, and if you saw #4 in our countdown, you already saw that there were very obvious gay NPC characters in this game. Aside from them, though, one of the main playable characters, Joachim Valentine, slowly inches his way out of the closet as the game progresses. Although the clues he leaves behind leave little to wonder about.
There’s his alter ego, pro wrestler Grande Papillon, which translated means “Big Butterfly”, and his mask is a big Mardi Gras style butterfly mask. You can change to Grande Papillion by two methods, you can either wait for the golden showers line and the rainbow flag line in your power meter to cross each other OR you can make it happen instantly by taking a rare item named “Getitup” The description of the Getitup pills directly from the game: It is the Long-awaited medicine that makes you young again. Expansion exceeds 400%, so avoid overdosing. It causes increased excitement and physical transformation. Sounds like Viagra to me…
He also practices his special powers known in game as “Muscle Arts” and spews lines like:
“In next week’s episode, Grand Papillon goes shopping!”
“Too bad you can’t see how great I look!” (in Invisible form)
“Don’t you love my golden glow?” (in Golden Bat form)
“Master, a man’s road is a hard one!”
Then to top it all off we come to his sidequest towards the end of the game. At a certain point, Joachim can chosse to participate in the Man Festival which is an arena type battle that inviolves 100 boxing rings stacked on top of each other. Joachim must fight his way to the top beating 100 men until he finally reaches the big boss who is named (quite appropriately) The Great Question. Now, the details about what happens here get a little sketchy but from what I can tell after he beats The Great Question, he goes through a “ritual” (man-sex) and then becomes the Great Question himself. This is from Getitup: The Joachim Valentine Fan page:
*“By defeating Great Question here, and after going through a “baptism of men” (*cough*), Joachim takes the moniker of Great Question for himself.”*
So there you have it folks, a 400 year old gay vampire wrestler with a butterfly alter ego and “Muscle Arts” powers who enters the Man Festival, beats off 100 men and then has butt sex to become King of The Man Festival, The Great Question.
Somehow I don’t think there’s much of a great question about which way this guy swings…
UPDATE: We have video proof of the Man Festival!! Watch it here!
Fruit Brute
Posted to Top 20 Gayest Video Game Characters, Video Games on 24 July 2006
· Comments (7)
Other stuff like this: gay, joachim, shadow hearts, vampire, wrestling
I sadly did not beat this game, so did not do the final parts involving the Man Festival. While this is a true part, I think its merely a tower or dungeon and you can bring along some members of your party as well as have to fight certain battles as a specific person. Its one of those huge dungeons like they have now in EVERY rpg with like 100 floors.
But even so, yes, this guy is pretty gay, but dammit, he’s also the funniest thing in the game too!
Oh, and if it helps, his weapons are usually ‘stolen’ from the world like a tree trunk, telephone booth, and even a frozen swordfish. God help us.
Yes, at the end of the man festival Joachim and his teacher the Great Gama/Great Question do things much to the dislike of Yuri
Also you guys should include his Sailor Moon-esque pre-battle spiel he says as Grand Pappilion, which is pretty gay itself, especially when he points at his butt and says “In the name of beauty this butt”
Also the man festival involves Joachim and the rest of the party facing off against guys with curry hats that wear some odd underwear, but you only fight arround 50 or 60 of the fights, and in Shadow Hearts 3: From the New World, Joachim hosts his own Sushi-themed version of the man festival and his sister has to fight her way through so yeah
Also I know most of his quotes by heart so if need be I could supply some more Joachim quotes, the guy gay or not was one of my favorite characters in the game ^^;;
I have beaten this game completely, and I was surprised to see that no one has mentioned his ultimate armor either. I forgot the description on it, but it all boils down to being called this. “Rose Bondage.” Yeah… think about that one for a while.
i love this game
At the end of the man festival, after beating GQ ana, yuri, and joa are left joa and gq do it of screen whilst ana say somthing like
“aww doesnt love come in all shapes”
to which yuri rplys
“i… dont like that shape”
Amassive zoom out occurs
to which the screams of joa can be heard
yuri says i thnk im gonna be sick…
thats what happened but you dont see nuthin… shame
plus if that wasnt enough
in the middle of the game when getting “tortured” by veronica (this game is full of it) if you pick the text for joa it goes through multipe answer rounds
one of the answers for the first one is
“hey, thats not my thing”
second…
“im… really not into that sorta stuff”
and third
“Fine! ok! im GAY do you get it?!”
And hes finally out!
Those blonde dreads ain’t helpin’ him either.
I knew he was gay but.....it took me a while to realize it. I luv the part when Carla asks Karin if she wouldn't mind dancing half-naked or something and Joachim said he wouldn't mind. yeah plus when he's being tortured he say's he's gay so yes..................he's very gay....