Where to start? Let’s do this sanely:

System & Interface:

The console itself is shiny and gorgeous, with touch-sensitive eject and power buttons, and despite its unfriendly shape I managed to stand it in an open-frame black bookcase beneath my TV where it’s hardly visible at all.

Connecting to a 1080p TV with HDMI is a mixed blessing. The picture, when it works, is unbelievably crisp and a definite improvement over the 360’s VGA output at the same resolution. The drawback, of course, is that HDMI is extremely picky about what TVs and devices it works with (which I suppose is why MS went with the less stellar but more reliable VGA at first). My Time Warner DVR had similar issues, but when I turn on the PS3, all I get are diagonal lines a-la scrambled cable porn channels (without those precious two seconds of viewable porn!); all I have to do to fix it is unplug and immediately replug the HDMI cable from either end, but that’s annoying as hell, so I’m using an HDMI switcher, which does the same thing but uses a button instead. Hopefully, this can be fixed (update prayer #1).

NB: That’s an HDMI-exclusive problem. Other connections work fine but look worse.

The XMB interface is familiar to anyone with a PSP, and has very similar settings such as Photos, Video, Game, Internet, Settings, each with pretty standard options. It looks amazing, graphically, but there are a dearth of settings – the startup and interface customizations that were missing from the 360 at launch are also missing from the PS3. (Update prayer #2.)

The SIXAXIS controllers are mostly fine. They’re comfortable and familiar, if a bit light, although I’ve yet to see much motion-sensing action in games and when I have, it’s been poorly executed, tacked-on, or hard to understand. Definitely not worth the absence of rumble feedback, a feature we’ve all gotten used to and which really does improve immersion and game experience. It’s sad and stupid: you can tell that Sony got scared by the Wii and ended up making things worse for themselves.

Internet & Store:

Connecting the PS3 to wireless internet was no more difficult than doing so with the Wii, the 360, the DS or the PSP. Registering a PlayStation account and signing up with the PlayStation Network (which is free, that’s a plus) was surprisingly simple from a company that usually makes you jump through stoopid hoops (installed FFXI recently?).

Buying credit to spend at the store was simple (they wouldn’t mess that up) and using the store was a lot like using the PSP browser. That is to say, it’s simple but using a mouse-like cursor is a silly idea from a practical standpoint. The store functions wonderfully, however, and buying and downloading games for both the PS3 and PSP was easy, although the choices remain anemic at best. It does show real promise, provided Sony follows through – which is, of course, the big question (#3).

Blast Factor is an excellent example of great graphics and great gameplay…that you’ve seen before on the 360, where it’s called Geometry Wars. Yeah. Hopefully we’ll see more, better, soon. (Update prayer #4.)

Meanwhile, on the PSP, playing Syphon Filter has been entertaining, but I draw the line at Crash Bandicoot. The dream of a library of PSOne games available for PSP is still a dream (Update prayer #5).

Remote Play, which for some unknown reason lets you see and control your PS3 through your PSP, did nothing to me but blank out my TV and force me to reset my PS3. So that was fun. (#6 much?)

PS3 Games:

Short section. I’ve tried Resistance: Fall of Man which looked great but isn’t really my speed, so I can’t be too objective. Untold Legends is very pretty and quickly becomes very boring as well. Poor Genji looks great (sensing a theme?) but again, feels like a launch title. The one game I am enjoying greatly, which is good because it looks like it’ll have to last me a while, is Marvel: Ultimate Alliance.

Of course, you could be playing that on a 360.

But for what it’s worth, the game looks and runs absolutely flawlessly on the PS3; I’ve yet to compare it to the 360 version, but it’s hard to imagine the 360 getting things quite as crisp as the PS3 does when it’s working right.

As with my 360 experience, I don’t expect to see many games I really want to play for months, if not seasons. I knew that going in, though, so I can’t complain. (But it still counts as Update prayer #7.)

Blu-ray Movies:

Another short section. I tried out Aeon Flux and The Devil Wears Prada and Xmen 3 on Blu-ray and, for what it’s worth, was utterly entranced. The new smart menu popup bar that’s customized for each movie is pretty nifty, letting you change audio tracks and various other options on the fly. The video is, naturally, even better than cable or satellite 1080i HD. Of course, with the format war as yet unfinished, this is all still a gamble, and I’m not rushing to replace my DVD collection.

There could be more Blu-ray options in the settings menu (#8).

PS2 Games:

Enter the shitstorm.

PS2 emulation totally blows monkey nuts. Some games are worse than others, but they almost all look “emulated.” Outside the “emulation square” the PS2 games are clearly contained within a visible black shell of, like, “actual PS3 screen-space” – and the border between the two can be flickery and weird and, frankly, cheap looking.

What sucks the most, however, is the very obvious graphical problem with jaggies and text and pretty much the edges of everything. Most have speculated this is due to a pixel flipping issue,

which any of you who’ve toyed with console emulation on the PC will immediately recognize. Check out some pictures of the effect for a better idea of what I refer to as Update prayers #9, #10 and #11, because this is a deal-breaker.

Games that feature an in-game option to turn on progressive scan (such as God of War, which I can’t confirm because someone “borrowed” my copy) will rectify this mess when you activate that feature, and some games look decent – Disgaea 2 actually looked better on the PS3, and Okami had the deal-breaker jaggy problem, but not to the worst possible extent.

The game that’s getting the most guff for looking the worst? Guess. Go on, guess. Final Fucking Fantasy XII, one of the games nearly everyone was hoping to play on the PS3. It looks abysmal. (Update prayer #12, just for making me extra cranky.)

Also, expect to buy a USB memory card reader if you want to import your game saves from the PS2, as the PS3 doesn’t have that bit. No way to update that, methinks.

Oh, and the SIXAXIS controller disconnects whenever you start a PS2 game. Awesome. (Update prayer #13, we made a baker’s dozen!)

Finally, the Conclusion:

I’m glad I did it. It was foolhardy and bankrupting and I am now the laughingstock of all of my friends who know better (and a few who don’t), but a shiny new toy is a shiny new toy, and I’m academically interested in observing how/if the system improves over time. (Big ole ‘Huzzah!’ for Update prayer #14, which is admittedly kind of a catch-all, but I’m on a roll.)

For my $0.02, the PS3 over HDMI at 1080p looks crisper and more promising than the 360’s VGA business, but HDMI’s many-headed hydra of HDCP compliance and compatibility issues make me think Microsoft may have done the right thing in taking the safer, marginally less spectacular route. Of course, they seem to be catching up on that count, so the point may become moot one day.

Mostly the system feels unfinished. You can feel where future updates will/could flesh-out the features and iron out some of the quirks, a lot like the 360 at launch. Background downloading, startup and appearance settings, etc. were all introduced or improved three, six, nine months down the line. Aside from keeping up the content flow, there are a few major, major flaws that Sony must address soon, and many more little touches that would improve the system, but I do have hope, and I’m tentatively pleased, considering my limited expectations and how dire it could have been, but I’m not exactly slapping myself on the back as the Smartest Consumer On The Block.

I’m sure I missed a lot, and if any of you have questions, please ask and I’ll do my best to be PS3 Test Monkey for the site, since none of my colleagues seem quite so eager to be an idiot in debt.

Luckily, that’s my specialty.