Pandemic Tells LucasArts Its Thighs Are Fat; Taking Mercenaries To Buff EA
Dear LucasArts,
It's not you. It's me. Really. I swear.
OK, maybe it is you... just a little bit.
Sure, we've had some good times, what with the original Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction and the Star Wars: Battlefront games, but it just feels like the romance between us is gone.
Let's be up front about something: you've gotten a bit flabby, now that you're not really developing any games in house anymore, it seems like you're more oriented towards developing easy franchises without any real meat to them. And between some of the licenses you've let get away from you (remember Sam & Max: Freelance Police?) and the way you've rushed some other games out to the market (like KOTOR 2), I just don't feel comfortable pushing out new titles for you. I mean, I know you mean well, but how can I be sure that you'll take care of future titles and raise them right by giving them lots of QA time?
Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm going over to Electronic Art's house for a while and I'm taking Mercenaries 2: World in Flames with me. Sure, he may be a brute who terrorizes his workers and bullies gamers with all his ridiculous microtransactions, but he's also got an assload of money. I mean, have you seen his house? It's huge. Besides, he's promised to protect me from the verbal abuse of the Venezuelan government; I'm not sure if he's going to throw an army of lawyers at them or just buy the country and make the politicians move, but I think either one is a viable option. Also he has all those cute little Hobbits running around the garden; they're way cuter than Jawas.
Now, before you go drown your sorrows in a tub of Rocky Road (you really should be careful about that, by the way: your thighs are beginning to resemble cottage cheese), I just want you to know that you'll always have a special place in my heart and no one will ever be able to replace my fondness for you.
I really do hope we can still be friends,
Pandemic Studios
Mercenaries 2 Q&A [Eurogamer]
Boy of Tomorrow
Posted to Video Games on 8 February 2007
Other stuff like this: dear john, EA, mercenaries 2, mercenaries: playground of destruction, pandemic studios, venezuela
