Fear and Loathing… in GameStop
This isn’t one of those “Dear GameStop You Suck” letters that Boy of Tomorrow writes (although I am sympathetic to those experiences). This is yet another example of why I don’t regularly go to GameStop to begin with, and it has actually nothing to do with the policy of the store. Just the freak incidents I always seem to encounter when I walk into that place…
On Friday afternoon, I head over to my local GameStop, which I only do every few months or so. I still have some credit, and all I want to do is pick up Blue Dragon for the long weekend. There’s about 20 people in the store that’s no bigger than my living room: a woman and a freakishly large baby carriage for a potato-sized infant; a couple arguing over why he can’t buy Madden NFL 08 right now; a trio of pre-teens asking about Halo 3 and why the hell isn’t it out yet; the normal gaggle of teens clustered around the latest sports title at the PS3 (the Xbox 360 is dead, of course); the smelly, apparently homeless man who wandered in from the street… you know, the usual.
Anyway, so I’m waiting patiently in a hideously long line that wraps around the store with Blue Dragon in hand. There’s one cashier and three other employees sort of standing around asking people for help when they don’t need it, and I notice a large woman about to walk out of the store with what I think was her mother and grandmother. She’s holding something in her hand; it’s an instruction manual for a DS game. One of the employees sees this, walks up to them and says sternly that she can’t take that out of the store. So he attempts to take it from her.
Bad idea. The woman then tries to BITE the employee. I shit you not. He backs off and says forget it, because the woman has the look of bloodlust in her face, and she begins to grunt angrily. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
The mother starts scolding the woman, who acts more like a child like a grown woman (I’ll try not to make any assumptions about her mental capacity, but she clearly had behavioral issues). The employee who almost got bit tells the mother that they can just leave. “But I’m TRYING to TEACH her that she SHOULDN’T take it,” the mother says, indignant at the employee’s rational suggestion. While she continues to scold, everyone pretends that it never happened and goes back to their business. Me, I’m still waiting in line to buy Blue Dragon, and the couple in front of me decides in the middle of their purchase that they want to trade in some PSP games (so they take out their wallet of PSP games and slowly flip through each one to see which ones they can do without… awesome).
Then suddenly we hear “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” The mom is now wrestling with her daughter, right in the store! Mom is tugging at the manual in her hand, but she holds onto it like her life depended on it. “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” All hell breaks loose. The struggle goes around the store and then the pair ends up coming right towards me. Like a matador holding a red cloth, I step out of the way in the nick of time, and the two end up crashing against the cashier’s counter. Stacks of games fly everywhere; the employees and the other shoppers stand around, utterly horrified at the scene. The store is completely silent except for the woman’s non-stop screeching: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The manager of the store, clearly flustered, finally tells them to LEAVE with the manual RIGHT NOW because they’re causing a scene. The mother is holding her daughter in a full nelson, both of them panting, sweating like they just ran a four-minute mile. Mom slowly lets go, takes her daughter by the hand (the other still clutching the manual) and they leave the store.
Meanwhile, I’m thinking maybe I can wait a little longer to play Blue Dragon…
Lazy Panda
Posted to Hot Stuff, Video Games on 2 September 2007
· Comments (24)
Other stuff like this: fear and loathing, gamestop, wtf
We can’t GameStop here! This is bat country!!!
Wow. I'm going to go buy a tazer right now. (LOL, awesome Jake.)
What in the hell, man? Some people really love those DS Manuals I guess.
Yep. Sounds like my typical day at work.
OH GOD THAT IS SO FREAKING FUNNY
*winds down*
And I thought MY experiences at Gamestop were funny! I would PAY to see entertainment like that!
It's the same story when I go to my GameStop too, it's like all the natural laws of the universe are suspended and everyone is de-evolving into their base form. Kinda like that episode of Star Trek TNG.
you gamestop is the size of your living room? that's amazing! we have two here, and they are both the size of large walk-in closets.
That is interesting but WHAT ABOUT THE #&($ING GOLF SHOES!!!!!
Hehehe... That's amazing. We haven't had any fights break out at my Gamestop, at least not while I'm on the clock, but we have our share of GREAT stories. You're right, Panda. The laws of decency DON'T apply in Gamestop. Except for the employees.
I like living in Canada... hahaha.
If this kind of stuff happened in the Gamestops I frequent, I'd totally go in far more often. So funny!
So awesome that a Star Trek TNG reference just got dropped. Go team!
Most hilarious thing EVER!
God i want that to happen at my store!
BTW, sidenote, theres a possibility gamestop is about to stop sucking corporate wide. Wont tell ya why though !
This is why you need to write more on this site, you blow away most articles.
This is the sidesplitingly funniest written article I have yet to come across on gay gamer. It made my day.
Nice.
She might want to pre-order some DS manuals in the future. It might save her some trouble.
;D
:D CJG FTW ATW!
Let me guess, the manual she took was for Nintendogs? She must be this 'touch! generation' Nintendo keeps talking about. :D
Interesting story, Panda. Be sure to let us know if Blue Dragon was worth that experience when you finally get to play it.
Reminds me of when i used to work for GAME in the UK.
I do miss asking people if they need any help, only for rejection and disapointment that follows.
The storey i could tell...
..... But would rather forget.
Bunny.
Oh man, I think once my Bon Voyage expansion comes in, I'm going to take a tire iron or wrench in for protection.
Honestly though, nothing like thats happened in the GameStop that I been in, I got the boring GameStops I guess.
Wow... I can't think of any stories that would rival that in terms of stuff that's happened in my store, but you're absolutely spot on about the teenagers, arguing couples, homeless people, dead 360's, sloooooow trade-in decision-making, etc. Thank god Saturday will be my last day there. =D
Whoa. I've been working for GS for 3 years and none of my stories even come close to that one. Just don't tell our corporate office about it or they'll want to charge people for the live entertainment.
Haha great. Btw, your a really good writer. For once something on the internet made me actively engaged. (Just to let you, I hate Gamestop too. Bastards)