Video: People Clumping!
Oh, man, I'd totally forgotten about the awesome horribleness that was Martian Gothic... well, that is, until I read about the scariest game dialogue ever and was reminded about how terrible it was. I vaguely remember paying $5 for a used copy of the game during my freshman year of college, but I vividly remember feeling robbed about an hour later after I'd played roughly ten minutes of it.
Everything about the game was pretty bad, which pretty much tried to take Resident Evil and set it on Mars. So, y'know, imagine Ghosts of Mars in game format, with all the irritating control schemes and camera angles of Resident Evil, and then throw in the gimmick of not being able to have your various player characters meet up because Something Bad will happen. That last bit was hysterical, though it never really made much sense: apparently, some kind of virus was loose on a colony station in Mars, which would turn player characters into some unholy mixture of limbs and faces without any explanation. I offer a video of that hysterical animation to you all, Dear Readers, simply because I love you that much.








nah, totally unfair to the video game. i am, personally, a huge fan of martian gothic, despite its (many and myriad) flaws. the game was actually an incredibly well written piece of work that met with the unfortunate combination of lack of finances and a rushed publishing timetable. clearly, the control of the characters, including and esp. combat, was horrid. the voice acting was also sub-par, but the intelligence, wit, and especially the creativity of the story shined throughout the game, and made it a joy to discover.
the adventure-survival style of game play always intrigued me the most, as the game is set in a sci-fi context. most contemporary games that are similarly sci-fi based just have you running around finding different color card keys to advance through areas in the game (which this game does as well), not wearing an emergency air tank to pump up an inner tube into a damaged hull to allow cabin pressure to return, or using a child's toy with a magnetic checker placed on its underside to pick up metallic items that are inconveniently placed behind giant monsters. the game was also novel for its realistic item system: each character could only carry a certain amount, there are items in the game which have absolutely no use to you, storage compartments are everywhere so that you have to try to remember where you left a certain item. the trade system allows you to work cooperatively with the other characters, swapping items to solve different puzzles. also, instead of there just being three of each gun for each character like in most games, you will find a more realistic distribution in line with the story of the game. ammo is also scarce, and the game is interesting in that the monsters never die, so you can easily use up all of the ammo in the game without progressing a quarter of the way through it. the card keys that open various parts of the station are also more story based than game play: there are enough card keys for the (now dead) staff that worked there, not just one per important door or player character. and while the moving graphics were poor, the backgrounds were actually quite richly detailed.
perhaps THE BEST aspect of the game was how it poked fun of other adventure games: halfway through the game the characters meet the only survivor on station, and learn that he is an avid player of the worst adventure game in the solar system (which you can "play" on the computer terminals to save your game). while the player characters poke fun of this game-within-a-game, the survivor (who has gone kinda crazy) instead is fascinated with it and tries to make the space station just like the game, just in time for the player characters to arrive. this sort of satirical meta-commentary on the adventure video game and the video game industry as a whole is not something that many games choose to breach, and if they do it's often in the form of a fan game. martian gothic was clearly written by an incredibly intelligent and very gifted writer--he just wasn't given a proper medium to show that to the players.
anyway, long story short, i got really excited when i read the article headline because i figured that someone was doing a remake of martian gothic to finally do it the justice it deserved. clearly, that is not the case, so now i must go cry a thousand tears and drink a thousand beers.
There's this funny bit where you find the corpse with the suicide note.
It says something about not letting them into his brain and ends with:
"...and I leave all my worldly possessions to my ex-wife. The bitch will probably take them anyway."
Sorry, but after blacksheepboy's glowing praise for the game, my little tibit seems shallow in comparison.
Sorry, but after blacksheepboy's glowing praise for the game, my little tibit seems shallow in comparison.
Sorry, but after blacksheepboy's glowing praise for the game, my little tibit seems shallow in comparison.