Warriors Orochi Visit Brokeback Mountain
Now maybe I need to get out more, think less intensely about things, eat five fruit and veg a day, but something recently has been niggling me. Koei's Samurai Warrior and Dynasty Warrior series have always been something of a secret guilty pleasure for me. The base-running rag-doll massacre of it all, and the sheer immediacy with which you can jump into the game. I bloody love, love, love it.
As such, I recently acquired Warriors Orochi on PS2, suspicious that the graphical overhaul of the 360 version warranted the extra pennies. I have finished all the main storylines now, and have loved every minute of its sheer insanity. Voice acting from beyond the grave collides with around eighty or so characters to create an experience of chaotic proportions reminiscent of my much coveted Marvel Versus Capcom 2 on Dreamcast.
Since the game draws its erstwhile heroes from the worlds of Samurai and Dynasty Warriors respectively, it offers some interesting pairings that have piqued my interest from the outset, and has such given the ensuing sword fights a whole new meaning. Now don't get me wrong, I am not the sort of guy to suggest that everything is gay, I will certainly respect the sovereign heterosexuality of characters like three-in-a-bed Kratos from God of War, but the guy-on-guy heroic alliances of Warriors Orochi, combined with their post FFVIII slick good looks, leave me more than a little suspicious.
Read on after the jump...
In the vein of the ab-crunching, pec-pumping 300, Warriors Orochi is never explicit about its queer potential, though characters like Ranmaru Mori and Zhang He stand in for the mandatory gender-bending stereotypes that proliferate in the Japanese market. Of particular interest to me, the playful spear smacking of the Chinese tornado Zhao Yun squaring up against the Japanese tough-but-dumb hotness of Yukimura Sanada. Through the course of the main adventure these two bedroom athletes endlessly compliment each other in an epic game of vocal beach volleyball, Top Gun style. It's almost explicit, am I alone in detecting the throbbing heart of romance under plate armour, roasting in the heat of battle?
Swishing spear action leaves me practically frigid compared to the mental chess of China's new romantic Cao Pi as he goes ten rounds with ginger ninja Mitsunari Ishida. These two are continually framed together in the cut scenes in moments that verge on near kisses, and I am left agast by the catty jibes that are fired across the battlefields of antiquity as each seeks to outdo the other in a carnival of sheer heroic eroticism; someone catch me, I am going to feint!
The proud prince Sun Ce is left single but not lonely in the game, since we know his wife is locked up somewhere awaiting capture by the...oh I don't really remember. I am sure she is ok. With his soul-patch beard and jock physique, no doubt Sun Ce is the Sean William Scott of Three Kingdoms China. Close to finishing the game, now the spear swishers and moody mercenaries have him in their sights; nothing brings a bunch of guys together like the mashing of X, X, X, X, X, X...
And while all this battlefield debauchery had me distracted, amazonian Ainu princess Ina has lead Sun Xiangshang off over the horizon, since they can, and I quote, '...manage better on their own...'. I am sure you will join me in signing a petition to have this filthy game stripped from our retail stores, after playing it, since seeing is believing.
SuperSpecialDavey
Posted to Hot Stuff, Miscellany on 21 October 2007
· Comments (5)
Other stuff like this: Brokeback Mountain, Koei, Warriors Orochi
I'm glad I'm not the only one reading the massive amounts of subtext in the game.
Ranmaru is still my favourite
Depending on who you have in your party, comments made in the game actually CONFIRM some stuff like this. One great example is in the Wu story line, stage 7. If you have Okuni in your party, she'll bring Zhang He's sexuality to light when they encounter one another.
Zhang He: Random line mumbo-jumbo, you are only fit to be cut down by the hero, yada yada...
Zhang He: Random conversation with Okuni.
Okuni: "I have no use for a man of your...persuasion."
Now granted, we ALL know Zhang He is THE queen supreme, but stuff like this is actually CONFIRMED with some of the dialogue. So 'ya never know, maybe having Sun Shang Xiang in your party with Zhao Yun and Yukimura Sanada will bring to light their naughty after-battle exploits!
I'm surprised that a duo of ambitious beards, Cao Cao and Oda Nobunaga has not been mentioned (with a jealous Liu Bei on the side). I have yet to play the game, myself. I'm a huge Koei fanboy, and as pretty as so many of these guys are, I still have to go with utility and vote for my Daoist dream team, Zhang Jiao and Zuo Ci.
I got the Japanese version back in March..and I'm not fluent in Japanese. So basically I missed out on a lot of the story. I personally hate Cao Pi. He made my favorite character Zhen-Ji kill herself in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms story, so I think he's far from romantic heh.
Wouldn't "X-X-X-X-X-X" be "Jump-Jump-Jump-Jump-Jump-Jump"? lol.
"X-X-X-X-X-X" for constant jumping for joy for one of the greatest Dynasty and Samurai Warriors installments ever. :D
What I really like about this game is how certain dialogue during battle happens depending on your current characters. Zhuge Liang never appears as a playable character in the Wu storyline, but if you play as him during the Battle of Chi Bi (Free Mode or clearing the storyline), he compliments ally Lu Xun for his cunning and strategy. All this means I must definitely unlock Okuni next chance I get, haha.
Thanks for the good read.
- Ken