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Disturbing Video Shows Player Homophobia At Work On Xbox LIVE

WARNING: This video is extremely NSFW (audio) as well as very disturbing. This article does not imply any wrong doing on Microsoft or Xbox Live's part, but merely those players involved.

I have had this video in my possession since last Friday and have been trying to figure exactly how to handle it. But the fact of the matter is, there is no way to present it other way than to just show it like it is.

One of our readers went on to Xbox LIVE with the Gamertag "xxx GayBoy xxx." He went on to play some Halo 3 and recorded the whole experience. The reactions he got from other players may not be surprising, but it is still appalling behavior and very upsetting. I emailed xxx GayBoy xxx and asked him a few questions and this is what he had to say about the making of the video:

Other than maybe a quick "hello" to the chat room or a request to "veto", I didn't ever say anything first or taunt anyone. What was said by these players was initiated by them with no provocation on my part. The vast majority of the times I wouldn't even respond back so the audio would be clear.

I had a lot more footage but the movie would have been a lot longer and I don’t have the time to edit all that. One thing you don’t see are the betrayals, I was shot by my own teammates. Most don’t want to party up with me, they even say "gayboy don’t party up", some even leave mid-game so they don’t have to play with me.

Back when we were hacked, the story got around to various websites and the one question that many uninformed readers asked was "Why does there need to be a gay gaming website? Can't we all just be gamers? Why do they have to segregate themselves?" I think one viewing of this video will explain exactly why. While xxx Gay Boy xxx's Gamertag may not conform to the Xbox LIVE TOS and may soon get yanked, it was an incredibly eye opening experiment.

137 Comments

CJG said:

It seems odd that the video spends so much time focusing on people calling him "gay boy" even to the point that it repeats the name several times in rapid succession. Given that that's his handle, it seems like a natural thing to call him.

Not to diminish the rest of the video. It is a frightening look into a world I rather gladly avoid.

Feargasm said:

That's phedged up, I mean, seriously, I actually didn't get an xbox just because of all the homophobia I came across while on xbox live at a friend's house. Not to be biased, but playing on the sony online program, I came across very little homophobia. Or maybe delta force online just has a lot more gay tolerant people.

Kilroy2.0 said:

I don't genuinely think that there was any personal vendetta against him.

It does stink of pack mentality though.

It's behavior like this that demonstrates why Blizzard has such strict policies on names of characters and guilds.

Not Cool.

Lydecker said:

"the video spends so much time focusing on people calling him 'gay boy'... Given that that's his handle, it seems like a natural thing to call him."

Exactly my thoughts for a lot of the video.

And also, some of the comments didn't seem hate-based, if I ever hear things that are funny stereotype comments, I laugh because they're meant to be a joke, not because they assume I am the stereotype. Joke back.

Some of that stuff was really out of line, and even a tag GayBoy shouldn't deserve it. There's comments you expect from getting a tag that describes a game, movie, gender, style, etc. because these names are chosen to start a discourse. If you don't want a civil discourse, choose an ambiguous name. If you don't want hateful discourse, get off XBox live?

MiBeau said:

I can't view the video for it is disabled @ work, but you have to expect that there are people who will behave ignorantly like this over xbox live, but behaviors like these should not be tolerated and yes choose an ambigous name to be safe...

The Tek Guy said:

So it's some anonymous morons running their mouths while shooting other guys in the face. Immaturity and group dynamics, we've all been there, the butt end (seriously, this is not a pun!) of a stupid joke or being made fun of for a (worngly perceived) flaw. We react to the nagging which in turn fuels the flames. The whole thing spins out of control.

This time, it was clear intent to provoke these people. I'm sorry, but I don't see the point of this. Sure, the trashtalk sometimes went from idiotic to hateful, but that doesen't mean there was any kind of intent behind all of this. Heck, some of these kids may have been gay themselves, and really insecure about that. Not everyone has the courage to stand up to this kind of group dynamic, especially among peers and under age (i.e. Halo gamers).

Sure it's a vicious circle. People try to fit in by chiming into the hate, thereby making it harder and harder for themselves to come out with who or what they really are. And the harder they think it is to open up, the stronger the need to fit in and not be found out.

Now I haven't met enough USAliens to be certain, but if it's anything like here in Europe, chances are 10 to 1 close up and personal these people would clap you one the back and say "Good on ya!"...

As to the reason why we need a gay gaming site: Because it is absolutely (fabulously) awesome, and I'm not even gay!

motordog said:

If anyone would ask me why we need our own site, I'd say "It's a gay-thing...you wouldn't understand".

Ironic that many game-players often get pushed around at school (as many geeks do). Even the straight ones get homophobic insults hurled at them. You'd think they'd remember how insulting and hurtful it is, and refrain from such behavior, yet they turn around and do the same thing on Xbox (with the courage being anonymous gives all such cowards).

purin said:

"Hey, GayBoy, are you a fag or what?"

Even having to type something out involves a little more thought that just saying whatever malformed thought comes to you for all to hear. Oh, aren't headsets wonderful?

dmoola said:

Some of it was nasty, but overall i have to agree with the user's comments so far.

there are several comments in there i'm sure are taken out of context.... ie. 'hey gay boy, stop sucking **** and play!' ... i personally wouldn't take this as anything but friendly joking.

but then you have the guy who wants to hang all gay people... wow. nice.

Hanjo said:

i experienced quite some homophobia when i sometimes went online to play ghost recon or rainbow six 3 on xbox live (still don't have a 360 yet) - i was never attacked personally since my nickname (hanjo) doesn't really show my sexual preferences but i expect most people would have reacted like this if i would.

met some very tolerant and nice guys on pgr2, links 2004 and also tenchu - should mention that these were mostly europeans and i suppose homophobia might be a bigger problem in the states.

BlackRabbit said:

XBox Live and the rampant homophobia therein is also part of why I chose a PS3 over Xbox360.

Fox said:

This (among dozens of other reasons) is why I sold Halo 3.

I mean, of course it's not completely the fault of the game specifically, and I'm not anti-Halo (me and my neighbor racked up over 10000 games of Halo 2, and were past 1000 of Halo 3, and managed to actually get our degrees at the same time), but I think Halo 3 is as mainstream as a multiplayer game as you'll ever find amongst a cross-section of humanity more concerned about their percieved heterosexuality than any other. Heaven forbid someone walk into the room and see them playing with xxx GayBoy xxx? What would they think? I'm not defending their actions, I'm just sayin'. Even without "provocation," pubbie Halo 3 players are amongst the worst, generally speaking, you'll ever come across.

Not to say Call of Duty 4, or Team Fortress 2 is full of nothing but socially-minded, kind-hearted people, but personally speaking, I catch a lot less shit playing anything but Halo 3.

I'm a little shocked to see people defending this.

Seems like the general feeling towards this guy is that he was asking for it by making his name. Granted, it should be expected but still. Maybe he truly didn't know the kinda hate filled world he was stepping into? I don't know anything about the guy who made the video so who knows what his prior experiences were.

I'd like to see this taken a step further and have someone make similar names based on race or sexual orientation and see what kind of responses they generate.

We'd see if he gets half as much insulting hate speech spit at him.

It'd make a pretty good social experiment I think.

The most shocking part is how some of the youngest players have some of the most disturbing hateful phrases shooting out of their mouths. We can really see how some of the people in this country are raising their kids.

Looking forward to the future.

I didn't get a sense of any "good fun" joking around. It all seemed pretty brutal to me.

Zadie said:

If I called myself "DaggerDyke" should I be surprised if everyone on the server started calling me a dyke?

Yeah, these 13 to 16 year old males are homophobes; and somewhere around 8% of them will someday come out and feel kinda bad about the way they treated gay people when they were teenagers (another 2% will get married, join the Republican Party and have sex with men in public bathrooms).

Honestly, I've been called a "nigger" more times than I've been called a "fag" online; and despite having a female sounding name, I have never been sexually harassed or called a dyke.

Helps that most of the time, I have chat set to "friends only"... I love Halo, but I'm not a masochist ;)

Bryan said:

Well, with the name xxxx gayboy xxxx you were kind of asking for negative attention. The s/n seemed like more of a "HEY IM GAY! THESE Xs ATTRACT ATTENTION TOO!" Maybe if it was a better screenname like "Fragfag" (dont take this s/n from me >_>

Bryan said:

or something mildly humorous then people would be less mean. Also, people on x-box live will do almost anything for jokes. ANYTHING, thats just what geeks do. I was trying to start a Gsa club and this one kid (who I thought was my friend) starting saying all of this homophobic slander.

BUBBLE-LEAD said:

I ran into similar problems years ago when City of Heroes first came out. I created a character called "The Manhandler" who was a big muscle-bear wearing a back tank top with a pink triangle on it, and had flame-based powers.

I could get past all the gay jokes and insults, but not when it affected gameplay. People would invite me to join their team, teleport me to a dangerous area filled with tons of high-level enemies, then boot me off the team and run away. I'd get killed ina matter of seconds, and have to regenerate back at the hospital. After this happened 15 times, I was in so much debt I'd never get out, and I just gave up.

BUBBLE-LEAD said:

I ran into similar problems years ago when City of Heroes first came out. I created a character called "The Manhandler" who was a big muscle-bear wearing a back tank top with a pink triangle on it, and had flame-based powers.

I could get past all the gay jokes and insults, but not when it affected gameplay. People would invite me to join their team, teleport me to a dangerous area filled with tons of high-level enemies, then boot me off the team and run away. I'd get killed ina matter of seconds, and have to regenerate back at the hospital. After this happened 15 times, I was in so much debt I'd never get out, and I just gave up.

BUBBLE-LEAD said:

I ran into similar problems years ago when City of Heroes first came out. I created a character called "The Manhandler" who was a big muscle-bear wearing a back tank top with a pink triangle on it, and had flame-based powers.

I could get past all the gay jokes and insults, but not when it affected gameplay. People would invite me to join their team, teleport me to a dangerous area filled with tons of high-level enemies, then boot me off the team and run away. I'd get killed ina matter of seconds, and have to regenerate back at the hospital. After this happened 15 times, I was in so much debt I'd never get out, and I just gave up.

Ry-guy said:

(If you want to jump to a more concise little tidbit, I've summed it up quite clearly at the bottom in one little snippet!)

I didn't watch the video. I didn't feel the need to. The reason?

He freakin' ADVERTISES the gayness!

Now granted, as a gay guy, I feel no shame in who I am, and if asked -- unless there is strict reasoning otherwise -- I will gladly tell people that I am just that. But I don't announce it to the world. Nothing irks me more than trying to shove something in someone's face. Sexuality, religion, etc. Not everyone wants to hear about it. And 'ya know, if you're gonna try and tell someone, some people WILL respond in a negative way. That's how it is.

My boyfriend is ALWAYS on XBOX Live, and most of his good friends he plays with know he's gay because he'll carry on a conversation with me while he has his headset on, they'll ask who he's talking to, he'll tell them his boyfriend. They're jerks about it? He tells 'em to f*** off, and takes his toys elsewhere.

Again, I did NOT watch this video, because I don't feel as though I need to. Yes, I wouldn't doubt that some of the comments made are very idiotic/close-mided/hurtful, but what do you REALLY expect? I might as well give myself the tag MuslimBoi4EVA and jump into a Southern Baptist chatroom, then record that for everyone to hear.

The long-story-short version? People are idiots, they will continue to hate for NO valid reason, and there is little to nothing we can do about it. Deal with it, live your life, and be proud of who you are, casting aside whatever Random A**hole #1-100 has to say. Just don't expect everyone to welcome you with open arms when you're busy throwing your personal business in their face.

/endrant

Faith said:

My boyfriend has that homophobia bug in him too. Even got mad when I was writing for this site for a while.
"Why are you writing for gay gamer? You're not gay. People are going to think you are."

Some people just need to grow up and get a life. There's no reason to pick on the openly gay people out there.

My Mom is gay and I would personally beat anyone who ever talked to her like the way they do on Xbox Live to other gay people.

CJG said:

Baron von Garon said "Seems like the general feeling towards this guy is that he was asking for it by making his name."

Just to clarify my statement, I don't think he was asking for anything by using a name like that, except, perhaps to be called by that name.

Which is why it's odd to me that the video portrays people calling him "gay boy" as a slur on par with faggot or some of the other, more lewd or offensive comments thrown his way. I mean, "gay boy" said with enough hate could surely be a slur, but if that's what you choose for your online handle, you pretty much have to expect people to call you by that.

B said:

I just picked this one up at Towleroad and I find it very disturbing that people look at this and find it normal. Seriously. This guy was unable to have a good online game just because his gamertag was GayBoy.

So he was asking for it when he put that name up? How's that? What's wrong with that name anyway? We should just pretend and closet ourselves when playing online to be able to have fun? That's just retarded and miles away from where we should be at.

And what I find utterly hurtful is the real colors people show when they are protected by a screen. The lack of respect is overwhelming. If this guy was on a schoolyard and people was saying this stuff i doubt that any of you would find it normal.

As a gamer and as a gay man, I felt saddened by this. This makes me see how far away we are from peace and this makes me lose a little faith in today's youth.

Sad. Sad. Sad.

Lifecycle said:

Why does the type of people who say these things say shit like "I hope your get but rapped by a black guy?" Now that is paraphrasing but still it always a "black guy." As a black gentleman I would find this as a kudos. But I assume it has negative connotation. Heres another question. Did majority of this banter happen when gayboy was winning or lossing?

Richie said:

Very sad. I play on Live a lot, and I don't think I've ever told anyone there I was gay (can't imagine how that could come up), but I've heard a lot of hate. There is a certain style of humor that a lot of adolescent boys on Live think is hilarious in which they try to come up with the most hateful sounding thing they can, be it racist, homophobic, sexist, ethnocentrist, or what have you. Combine that with the very real homophobia and need to assert one's own straightness that a lot of insecure young men feel, and you end up with this.

As for how we should react to it, if we're gay, we need to decide whether we really want to put ourselves in that social situation. If we do, we can choose not to participate in the prevailing dialog. And rather than arguing against those remarks (which is extremely difficult to pull off effectively), we can create a generally positive, sportsmanlike dialog. It's very easy to fall into the trap of being afraid to be positive when everyone else is creating the opposite atmosphere. But the more people who ignore that and stay mature, the more others will feel comfortable following suit, and the effect snowballs. The fundamental thing to remember is never to allow the hateful dialog to wield any power over you.

krysys said:

Im as straight as can be but that was still really offensive. Even if he was a bad player, and had a somewhat provocative tag what was said is still wrong outright.

xxxGayBoyxxx said:

Yes, not everything in this video was said with hate. And I can take a joke, and I never took offense to what was said in it. My purpose for this video was only to raise awareness. So next time Str8s are interacting with a gay person, even an obvious one that has gay written all over him/her, that they be sensible. They're not asking for it, that's just who they are, and unlike me, they may in fact be hurt by the comments.

Jesse James Author Profile Page said:

All I can say to anyone that would say this person "deserved what he got" or "asked for it" by using the name GayBoy: Snuff out that internalized homophobia, it's not helping.

We do not have to hide who we are. Ever. We do not have to accommodate the ignorant mass of humanity to make their lives easier. We do not have to change any part of who we are so that someone else will feel better about themselves. It is they, the bigots, that need to change, not us, not ever.

We cannot hide in the shadows and hope one day people will stop this behavior! Stop justifying it! We must be able to stand tall behind each other and support each other, not run away like roaches as soon as a light is shined on our hide-out.

It is completely irrelevant whether or not this person was trying to illicit a response. The point here is that the response happened. We need to start there. Knowing the response is coming by no means justifies it.

Papa Jesse James will step down from the pulpit now...

Ripper Mcgee said:

First, a little bit about me: Straight, but not narrow, son of two gay woman (hosted their 30th anniversary dinner last year).

I find this article really interesting. I was thinking about writing an editorial piece on the use of the word "gay" as an insult in games. Every time I see another player say "that's so gay!", it really bothers me. When I approached my mom, however, to discuss my idea for the article she basically said "So?". That particular phenomenon doesn't bother her in the least.

I have mixed feelings about this issue. I hate both explicit ("I hate fags") and implicit ("That's so gay") intolerance, but I also have issues with "advertising" who you are. My mom, for example, has rainbow stickers and a rainbow license plate holder on her car. Years ago, I borrowed her car for something and during the one day I drove it, I was subjected to name calling, mockery and even threats, all of it due to the rainbow emblems on her car. Based on that experience, advertising who you are seems both dangerous and, possibly, antagonistic. I agree with Jesse James to the extent that you shouldn't have to hide who you are, but by the same token should you advertise who you are? Both are opposite extremes. Wouldn't it be better to "lead by example"? Be a good player, be a good friend, show others how much you rock, etc... If you share that you're gay and it doesn't matter to anybody, great! If it does, then it sucks to be them.

Another comment - If I were to come across a character named "gayboy" in a game, my first assumption would be that it was some ignorant, immature jerk trying to be funny, not that it was a gay player.

~Ripper

Ry-guy said:

I agree, Jesse James, that things need to change. I don't see it happening any time soon, but what's wrong with hoping?

As for hiding who we are, tell me this: When was the last time you saw someone with the gamertag "xxxStr8Manxxx". Whether you want to agree or not, it's stupid to shove crap like your sexual orientation in someone's face and NOT expect to have something hateful said. We don't need to hide: Agreed. We don't necessarily need to flaunt it, either.

I don't condone bigotry, and I'm quite sure some of the stuff said was WAY out of line. He may not have DESERVED it, but it was extremely naive of him to create such a gamertag and not expect criticism.

S'all I'm sayin'.

P.S. Ripper McGee, I agree 107%.

BBPS_Xav said:

This has got to be the single most disgusting piece of evidence that proves Xbox Live has overtaken the internet as the most disturbing place for anonymity to breed ignorance.

Gramzon said:

Heh, sorry, this is why I chose to drop off Xbox Live. I just dislike the mentality that most players have. Sure, the name was chosen to attract this sort of thing, but that alone doesn't make it fitting. I've always been uneasy about voice in games, mainly console games, but this just makes me less likely to "jump in."

Sincerely,
Gay and offended.

detachedjosh said:

You can't let it bother you guys! I have that happen to me ALL the time but microsoft gave us this awesome thing called private chat! I use it to get away from all the twinks who have yet come out of the closet! Love you guys:) rock on

bremerton said:

That makes me really sad.

snicks said:

what disturbs me even more than the video are most of the comments here.

there's a lot of "blame the victim" B.S. going on here. When people say "well, what do you expect when you flaunt it like that", that's the SAME argument that was used years ago against women who were raped. It stopped because women finally refused to take it any more, and demanded to be treated with respect.

As long as we continue to condone this behavior and make excuses for it, it will continue. If i was one of the idiots who was saying those vile things on the video, i would look at these comments and think "well, if THOSE guys don't mind, then i guess it's okay".

Is that the message you want to put forward?

Anon said:

I'm on this site only because of the link from destructoid. I honestly do not like gays and I think that the lifestyle is immoral. I generally keep my mouth shut about it but what the hell did this guy think was gonna happen. What the hell is the point of flaunting homosexuality. You have nothing to be proud of. Be ashamed and don't try to make people feel sorry for you by posting a video that portrays you as a victim. You've done it to yourself and I hope that somewhere along the way other gamers have made you feel ashamed of yourself and you keep your sexuality more of a secret from now on.

Maverickk said:

Obvious GamerTag or not, those comments are F**king terrible and just hurtfull..

Ms.Michael said:

How can you say that 'he had it coming for having a gamer tag like that'? Honestly, I'm absolutely shocked and disappointed and disgusted. You want to stop homophobia;however ,you sit there and say he had it coming. Oh yea because siting there and taking it is SO going to help.
Sure, the people that have been out for quite a while can handle the homophobia and apparently gay boy has developed a hard shell for these insults. But, do you want to see or hear a 12-13 year old boy go that just came out, that wants to feel normal, go through with that kind a verbal abuse.
I sure couldn't handle it when I was 13. My ex-boyfriend couldn't handle it when he came out and ended up ruining our relationship.
No one has to go through anything like this. No one. Doesn't matter if you have a hard shell or not, it's just not right.
As for the flaunting debate. I wouldn't consider it flaunting, as you say. It's more of a statement to tell you who you are playing with. Ok, xxxGayboyxxx. He's gay and is a boy. Simple. xxxSt8boyxxx He's straight and is a boy. Nothing really flaunting about that except for what you are. How can you be ashame of flaunting what you are?
Look at my name, Ms.Michael. Apparently I'm a male drag queen named Michael. Haha I fooled you. I'm a drag queen in training.
Same thing with "xxxIlikepenorzintheanalxxx" I would automatically assume this person like penorz in the anal.
or
"Zurica" Apparently he/she likes that name or had a really sweet first name.
OR "box full of STDS" apparently the thought that was clever and it was.
Or "S P 1 L D M 1 L K" They like old sayings.
or "I.Cant.Think.Of.A.Name.Yo" Apparently they couldn't think of a name yo.
Would you consider gay pride parades flaunting your sexuality? Would you consider someone telling a bunch of people on the internetz that they had sex with you girlfriend flaunting your sexuality? Would you consider having rainbows and unicorns on your myspace as flaunting your sexuality? Would you consider having half naked women on your myspace as flaunting your sexuality? Do you think having gay bars as flaunting your sexuality? Do you think having straight bars as flaunting your sexuality? Would you consider a shirt saying "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is" flaunting your sexuality? Would you consider a pink shirt saying "Don't laugh it's your girlfriends shirt" flaunting your sexuality?

tfangel said:

"I ran into similar problems years ago when City of Heroes first came out. I created a character called "The Manhandler" "

Heh, i made and still have (although i don't play it as much) a character named "A Transvestite" a nod to Eddie Izzard, a tank who would have been called Action Transvestite if it would have fit. I got almost no insults, only whispers asking if i was one or not, followed by "cool" when i would say yes.

It's not that they call him "gay boy" when his name is that, it's the tone. You might mind and be able to tell the violence in the voices if you had also been jumped and beaten by the same types of people. These aren't geeks, these are bigots, and the mob mentality online would also take over if they were physically attacking someone in a group. Geek used to be a tag of pride, but now is being taken over by brain dead bigots who before would beat up geeks.

Ztf said:

As deplorable as this was, it also proves that people on XBL really aren't that original or bright when it comes to insults.

detachedjosh said:

i love ms.michael

Justin said:

I just wanted to say when they say things not relating to his name and the betrayals etc that is out of line. But if you are calling someone Gay Boy when there gamer tag is Gayboy then there is no problem. If I had a handle called f*ckingmoron And everyone went around screaming that should I get offended? You chose it as your name.

Now if I have done nothing wrong and because of my name they start harassing me now that's wrong.

Justin said:

I just wanted to say when they say things not relating to his name and the betrayals etc that is out of line. But if you are calling someone Gay Boy when there gamer tag is Gayboy then there is no problem. If I had a handle called f*ckingmoron And everyone went around screaming that should I get offended? You chose it as your name.

Now if I have done nothing wrong and because of my name they start harassing me now that's wrong.

Ry-guy said:

.Would you consider gay pride parades flaunting your sexuality? -- Yes, Pride parades are the only things that actually DO make me ashamed to be gay.

.Would you consider someone telling a bunch of people on the internetz that they had sex with you girlfriend flaunting your sexuality? -- Kind of a stupid question.

.Would you consider having rainbows and unicorns on your myspace as flaunting your sexuality? -- Sure would, if their intent is to show that you're a flamin' queen.

.Would you consider having half naked women on your myspace as flaunting your sexuality? -- Yeah, it is.

.Do you think having gay bars as flaunting your sexuality? -- Nope, it's a communal place for similar people to hang out, not unlike a church being for religious groups.

.Do you think having straight bars as flaunting your sexuality? -- Again, a stupid question.

.Would you consider a shirt saying "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is" flaunting your sexuality? -- Yes, because it is.

.Would you consider a pink shirt saying "Don't laugh it's your girlfriends shirt" flaunting your sexuality? -- Yet ANOTHER stupid question.


I know I seem anti-gay, but in truth, it's kinda because I am. People with tags like "GayBoi" or "In2Men", flaming little faeries prancing around in pink shirts that say "I kiss boys" at parades, etc. etc. Yeah, it all makes me ashamed to be gay. All people like that are doing is causing people to believe the negative stereotypes put out. So why the hell WOULD I be proud of something like that?

Why should you be proud when nearly one out of three gay men speaks with an exaggerated lisp/girly tone, why should you be proud of them flouncing around like a bunch of idiotic queers? Honestly, it's the same thing as any OTHER negative stereotype out there. And people like THIS moron keep the hate going!

To all of the people who sit here and defend this idiot, you really need to just quit whining about other people's ignorance. They don't like you, TOUGH. Get over it. They say hurtful things? TOUGH, get over it. YOU are comfortable with who you are. That does NOT mean that everyone ELSE has to be. We SHOULDN'T be treated the way that we are, but we ARE treated harshly. It's common knowledge. So shut up, quit whining, be happy with who you are, and quit SHOVING YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS DOWN PEOPLE'S THROATS. MAYBE, when people like GayBoy stop pulling crap like this, the world will stop seeing us as inferiors and actually start treating us with a bit of respect.

Bulletnyourass said:

I was linked to this from another forum (www.neo-geo.com) . While I am not gay myself, my wife and I have a few gay friends. We all agreed that most of what these kids are saying is exactly what they are hearing in the home. I have heard parents say some of the most outlandish things around their children. Who cares who's gay/straight/black/white/rich/poor. Life is too short to waste time discriminating against people.

Bluebreaker said:

You don't need a reason to hate anyone. You don't need a reason to be kind to people as well. I for one am tired of gay and straight people putting such a high priority on sexuality in general.

Jotch said:

That's a bummer, but you have to expect that immaturity will be even more horrifying on the internet, especially in a game that's based around aggression. I've never played the game, but I assume it's about trying to kill everyone before they kill you. So I wouldn't expect anything resembling compassion. STILL, it's a bummer to think about the thousands of kids who behave like that on a daily basis without any consequences, because it's happening in imaginary internet land. But then that's the parents' fault for not paying attention, or even worse, for encouraging bad behavior. It's a big mess, but what are ya gonna do, right? Ignore the rat-bastards, I say.

Brandon H said:

This is why geeks shouldn't comment on social issues. Their brains are too full of information regarding Dungeons and Dragons, RAID Arrays, and HDTV to know what the fuck they are talking about.

What's with all this "Personal Business" "He was asking for it" bullshit?! So if he talked with a natural lisp it would be ok to shout obscenities at him? Tough cookies?

Sexuality is not personal business. We are all sexual beings who have a right to be who we are and just because it isn't the semi-closeted self-hating, self-righteous douche doesn't make it ok to attack, belittle, or shame.

Christ, you guys sound like a Log Cabin convention.

Nate said:

All this business about "flaunting your sexuality blah blah" is silly.

xxxGayBoyxxx is saying that you're Gay and a Boy. And what does the XXX say about you?

Ok. Well... Is there anything else about you? If those are the two most interesting things about you, than I'm sad.

As a gay guy, I can honestly say that I hope to god the fact that I'm gay isn't my most defining feature.

I'm in a relationship with a guy for going on two years, I own a videogame store, and I work at a preschool. I like to game, I like to help out in my community, and I like to play violin and do theater and all this other stuff.

If you're making a gamertag like xxxGayBoyxxx, you have to expect reactions. It's not about flaunting who you are, it's about forcing people to know about your sexuality. Can't we just be people who are gay instead of defining ourselves as just "gays"? That fact in and of itself should NOT be the singular defining feature.

Nate said:

I would like to add that there should never EVER be any shame in being gay. That's not the issue. The issue is about live and let live. You don't see people with tags like xxxStraightBoyxxx, because, in general, that's not how people define themselves.

That, I think, is the biggest issue people have with the perceived "gay culture".

Nate said:

I don't mean to post a million times, but I have to say that I agree with Ry-Guy. Maybe not so much with the harsh wording, but the general idea is the same.

BTW, Ry-Guy... This is Trespasser. :)

...assuming you're *that* ry-guy. Silent Hill 4 LIFEZZZ.

DarkTalbain said:

Like others before, I think that a lot of the many "gayboy" callings were taken out of context but the other stuff such as calling him a fag and the hanging bit were out of line, its so pathetic to see these kind of people on this Earth.

Ry-guy said:

I guess I'm not "that" Ry-guy, Nate, 'cause I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. o_O But thank you, none-the-less! Perhaps my wording was a bit harsh, I just can't stand being put in the same boat as stereotypical gay guys. Makes me wanna punch someone in the ovaries. =/

As for Brandon H., I really don't feel like I can say anything else to get my point across. People with natural lisps, other "oddities/defects", deformations, the list goes on.....no, they shouldn't be yelled at and belittled, 'cause it isn't something they can help, and they aren't trying to press the issue that they have whatever wrong with them. People can't help being gay, either, but they can DAMN sure keep it to themselves and quit rubbing it in people's faces. In short, you're an idiot for taking what I said in the context that you did, but it's okay! We forgive you. :)

Richie said:

I'm surprised about all the comments along the lines of "it's okay to be gay, but don't flaunt it." What seems to be getting forgotten is that people often "advertise" who they are in a lot ways, as a way of expressing oneself. It's why so many people are actually proud of the music they listen to or the clothes they wear or their family or their race or... their sexual orientation. We wear t-shirts with our favorite band on them because we want to tell other people who we are. We make blogs and myspace pages to express who we are to the world. It's communication, a way of being heard in a big world. It's natural. Having a username like "GayBoy" is a simple example of this. Being gay, like any identifier, represents a life experience. Every gay person's experience with being gay is different, but most can relate to one another. As a gay guy, I feel a certain uniqueness and a certain connection to other gay people because of all the experiences I have gone through because of my place in society. It's part of who I am, and I am proud of who I am and of the worldwide gay community that I am a part of. It really is that simple. To those that disagree, I ask you to try to take a step back and look at what's really at the core of your disapproval, what it is exactly inside yourself that makes you recoil. Because that's where the core of our opinions lie, and that's what we should be thinking and talking about.

Chewey_Delt said:

Ry-Guy,

Your posts are full of internalized homophobia. Your hatred towards those outside your given idea of the norm is disturbing, to say the least.

Do you get this upset at people with a Southern accent, who are "advertising" that they're from the South? Oh no, because it's "natural/cultural," right? Let's ignore the reality that the brain chemistry of gay men is likely a bit different than that of straight men, and so different traits are to be expected. More importantly, what is it about someone's proclivity towards or choice to use speech that has a more feminine accent that so enrages? Are you that afraid of those who are outside cultural gender norms that you have to express such hatred towards them?

I just can't understand this obsession that some gays have with internalizing the language of the oppressors about "flaunting it." The fact of the matter is that regardless of what you want to think our sexuality does set us apart. It makes all of us different than the other 90% of the population, and it is an important distinction because our actions stand in direct opposition to long-held cultural norms about sex.

The only way to really affect change is to let people know that we're everywhere, and we're not just some fringe group that can be pushed aside. We're peoples' friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, and acquaintances. Because many of us don't have inherently obvious traits that people notice that would make them realize that we're around them, many of us choose to use public symbols that distinguish us, and that show our pride towards who we are. Outside of anti-Semites are people offended when an Orthodox Jew wears religious garb in public? Do we get up in arms because they're "flaunting" their religion? How is a public proclamation of a part of who you are as a person invite ridicule upon you? What about our dear GameJew? Should he "expect" anti-Semitic comments if he uses that as a gamertag?

Stop blaming the victim and start blaming the perpetrator. The kind of things that were said were unacceptable regardless of what the man's gamertag, and we should work towards a world in which it isn't "expected" that declaring a part of who you are in a game should invite such ridicule. Perhaps, Ry-Guy, you should think a bit about why someone's diversion from gender norms makes you so upset. The flaming fags and drag queens of this world have done more to make people realize that we're unafraid of declaring that we're out there than I suspect you ever will if you continue to espouse such hatred towards your community.

Davem said:

jesus christ, reading this made me want to vomit.

some of you people have no appreciation for those that have come before you...

Ry-Guy...sure, today it's easy to be pseudo-homo and not have to put yourself out there in society, but a lot of people haven't had it so easy. i'm not being over dramatic when i point out that many people have literally died so you can keep your foot halfway in the closet and skulk for ass online. that's what the parades are a reaction against. you should really educate yourself and get to know some of these "lisping prancing queens" before you condemn them like a cowardly bitch. why do you think expressing yourself is "shoving your beliefs down other people's throats"? seriously what the fuck? so when 40 year old Mindy puts a jesus fish on her car, that's acceptable...but when some gay guy puts a rainbow bumper sticker on his, it makes you ashamed to be gay? that is such utter bullshit. you can't expect tolerance from others when you yourself are an intolerant ass.

being gay doesn't define me, but it does express a big part of my point of view. i am thankful that i am gay, i don't have the gender role/stereotype issues that many straight guys have. i'm more accepting, open, understanding, and educated. these aren't bad things that i should feel ashamed to possess.

i thought the whole point of this website was to find a place where you could avoid this kind of bullshit.

FyroniK said:

Personally, I thought it was a pretty funny video besides the hanging guy... but I would simply ignore said person. I've had a few people use one of the lines("Get the di*k out of your mouth") while I've been playing Halo 3 as well. They would use it when I was say things I really didn't need to mostly just to get reactions from people, I enjoy hearing peoples odd comments personally. I don't have a "Gay-Related" gamertag but if I would get o experience these comments in every game without having to tempt people into using them, and it gets people talking instead of playing in silence, then hey maybe I'll be making one this weekend for my halo 3 action :).

nicky said:

Well, coming from someone whose master chief is totally pink, as well as my icon thingie in game being a unicorn with a lavender horn on a pink triangle background, I've heard my fair share of homophobic banter. When people usually call me a faggot, I respond immediately that I am. I'd say it's about a 25/75 split of nice people to random assholes. But hey...when you have a little like 15 year old calling you faggot....to eventually admitting you're the first gay person he's ever talked to...to friending you and being a good gaming partner....it's pretty much priceless.

I think we can also take advantage of the safe space provided by the anonymity of xbox live to maybe bridge some gaps. but there will always be assholes wherever you go.

blammer500 said:

You went on there with the gamertag "xxxGayboyxxx". Of course you're going to get fucking called out, you cry baby faggot.

Mike said:

Watching that was frustrating pack mentality-. I hope that GayBoy got a wicked gamerscore!

Anonymous said:

If your gamertag is gayboy, what else are they going to call you?

Anonymous said:

I've never seen homophobia like that on Half Life Deathmatch, or Team Fortress games. Perhaps Halo is played most commonly by conservative college freshmen boys.

yourkidding said:

non story

sheng said:

sad really... I'm not gay and have a few gay friends... they are nice people.... I mean why would anyone just go out of the way to take a hand out of people, just because they are gay. It is just not nice....

^_^

Neo_Vincent said:

The only thing that this proves is that Scott Kurtz is prophetic.

http://www.pvponline.com/2007/11/09/nov-9-2007/

Matt said:

Uh, what do you expect? It's a video game, people don't NEED to know you're gay.

derp said:

Well, durrr.

You chose GAYBOY as a handle.

Why the fuck would anyone want a handle like that?

It's like the fucking Gay pride parades. I can understand you want to teach tolerance and such for gays, but dressing up in assless leather chaps while riding a big black dildo float isn't exactly "nonthreatening."

Justin Harbottle said:

"Well, durrr.

You chose GAYBOY as a handle.

Why the fuck would anyone want a handle like that?

It's like the fucking Gay pride parades. I can understand you want to teach tolerance and such for gays, but dressing up in assless leather chaps while riding a big black dildo float isn't exactly "nonthreatening.""

I find these comments really disturbing.

Ok, so it's fine to be gay, aslong as you never mention it, don't 'flaunt' it in public, (by flaunt i mean hold hands like the billion straight couples rolling around doing the same thing and much more so) or reference it - you should be 'normal', neutral, unbiased and not make a point of focusing on your sexuality. Fine.

What people seem to forget is how heterosexual normal life is; it isn't this sort of blank unsexualised canvas where sexuality isn't an issue unless you mention it - every bloody thing in western society is painted with the sexualised, heteronormative brush. Go to a movie, it has a straight love interest, buy a copy of PC format, it has a hot girl on the cover (obviously intended for guys), first meet some new people, 'do you have a girlfriend?', change in the locker rooms, hear fearful homophobic preventative banter, etc etc etc.

It makes me laugh (read as, weep with frustration) the level by which people are indoctrinated by dominant society - they not only feed you all this crap, and you buy it wholesale, but you then police yourself too to hold yourself in check. Lol, seriously, this isn't interanlised homophobia, this is internalised heteronormative policing.

Seriously - get a grip folks and start to question who is pulling your strings.

The Tek Guy said:

I had a great comment written when my browser crashed.

So, here's the short of it:

There is a difference between gay, the lifestyle, which most people are actually OK with (even rednecks and christians need hairdressers, actors and graphic designers ^^) as opposed to gay, the taking it up the arse sexual practice.

Unfortunately, if you pick a gamertag such as GayBoy you don't get to pick which of the two people perceive. Chances are, that more people will get an image in their head of you boning another guy in the bum (esp. inscure teenagers, i.E. halo mainstream) rather than of you being a totally fabulous, gorgeous, kickass gamer type of person. And they think that is disgusting, and they have right to feel that way, just like you wouldn't condone anything and everything that happens between two people in bed. That is what doors are for.

I wouldn't expect you to take kindly to the handle xxx CuntSuckula xxx (yeah, I know that's clever and no, I don't use it) in a gay-only session, either. Or some even more bizarre sex practices, that make you go "urgh"...

Sexual orientation, preferences and fetishes are part of your identity but it is important to leave the things that belong in the bedroom in there, and to remember that perception is likely to be different between messenger and receiver.

Just to clarify, I'm not gay, but I love the gay lifestyle, which, being an actor , I am exposed to on a regular basis. Gaygamer is my absolute number 1 gaming site of all time. But most of my gay friends seem to have had their sexual innuendo filter surgically removed, with every other sentence implying something sexual, the total opposite of pretty much all of my straight friends when they're sober...

Sometimes you need to remember that different people react differently to sexual context, and they have every right to get red ears regardless of it being straight or gay sex. A video game is absolutely the wrong place to try and preach tolerance.

Justin Harbottle said:

That's a really good point Tek, but again it works on the premis that everyday normal life isn't sexualised in any way.

Think of every advert, game, movie, book, tv program that has a connotation or reference to heterosexual intercourse, now change that all to gay sexual references, albeit how discrete, and imagine the widespread horror.

It's highlighted quite well by the fact that even the mention of the word gay, in your example, draws a parrallel to the act - let alone something more explicit.

game-boi said:

Just like to note here that this is the reason Nintendo will *never* have an online play structure similar to XBL/PSN. Forget child molesters, show this to any non-hardcore gamer and they'll tell you they have no interest in being virtually surrounded by homophobic and racist idiots.

With my gamer tag I sometimes get the same type of reaction from Halo/Live players. I would like to think that my tag combined with my emblem of a pink unicorn sorta work like an asshole detector. 90% of the people that are going to say something stupid will say it within the first ten seconds of seeing the name.

Nate said:

I definitely don't think anybody should be condemned for being who they are...

...but people need to realize that a lot of people aren't gonna be ok with it right now. Yes, it's their problem, but holding them down and screaming "I HAVE SEX WITH MEN" in their faces is not going to convince them.

Justin Harbottle said:

Interesting to note how marking yourself as gay (with the literal, simple reference of a gay boy, nothing more) then silently playing a game with such an idenity (when i supposed normally its assumed your straight) = "holding them down and screaming "I HAVE SEX WITH MEN" in their faces"

Buncle said:

A few comments (more than I had expected) seem to centre around thoughts such as:

"With a tag like 'xxx gayboy xxx' comments like this are to be expected... and he shouldn't be 'baiting' them"

Surely the point is, reactions like that *shouldn't* be expected. It is wrong for preconceived expectations to justify unacceptable behaviour.

If persecuting someone based on a tag such as 'gayboy', then would it be acceptable to have to expect racist taunting if someone joins as 'blackguy'? Or discriminating someone called 'gamergirl'??

A rose by any other name...?

warrenpeace™ said:

I have played Halo multi-player only a couple times because I couldn't believe the incredible negativity in general and lots of unsportsmanlike behavior. Sure, I hear the odd 'that is gay' comment from someone playing Gears on Live, but they're usually an ignorant kid looking for a reaction. I never acknowledge it, but when playing with a straight friend, he'll usually call them on it which is nice and noble.

With the sheer numbers of people playing Halo on Live and the number that can play at one time, there becomes a 'pack' mentality and it all just escalates. I don't think that anyone should ever have to hide what they are, but there's always going to be someone who can't get past their own insecurity and be accepting.

Dustea said:

Ok... I know everyone is posting on this... But I wanted to give my thoughts as well

My brother plays Halo all the time on X-live, and yeah there's a lot of gay-slandery comments made. Im really not trying to defend either side here... But you have to face the facts, as gays we all know that there are times and places where our sexuality is ok, and other times we can get killed for it. The fact that he was made fun of; thats crappy, but its something that we have to deal with. I dont like being a flag-waver, personally... So I avoid tags that give hints towards my sexual preference when I feel that my reputation could be tarnished by it, I find that the Nintendo community is a relatively safe place to be out in the open, and X-Box isnt so much... I dunno, its a shame he was treated that way, but we have to use descression in some situations, Eh?

Adelheid said:

I personally think that those players, like most of the XBOX Live community (no offense to anyone here) were just trolling him either for laughs (which they were hoping gayboy would take AS a joke) or just did it for the sake of trolling and getting a reaction out of him.

Seriously, XBOX Live is the video game equivalent of 4chan. You do NOT go there expecting upscale maturity. What you will get are a bunch of people who will do anything for a laugh or a win.

Plus, the user PURPOSELY made the name gayboy to egg people on, that was the whole point of the thing.

This isn't necessarily homophobia, I see it as just plain stupidity or boredom.

Adelheid said:

After reading more of the comments here, I seem to find one annoying re-occurring theme going on here:

If person B says "people don't need to know your sexuality in a video game, since all you're doing is gaming" (which is true, by the way. If I'm playing a video game, I don't need to know whether the person is gay, bi, straight, has one leg, is covered in peanut butter and having a 15 hooker gang bang, or whatever. All I care about is "how good of a shot is he?") then what he or she says is immediately discredited as "internalized homophobia".

Right. Because the idea that we don't need to make our sexualities EVERYTHING about us is somehow homophobic.

his handle was Gayboy, hence he would have been referred to as Gayboy by the other players, considering that it's the only name they would know him by.
Secondly, this is XBOX Live we're talking about: The lowest of the gaming community roams that area like roaches in a dumpster. You couldn't BUY that kind of stupidity. It's not that surprising.

Countdown until someone else's comments are discredited as internalized homophobia in 3...2...1...

Its sad to see this, but ive experienced some of the same abuse. Some have gone as far as threaten to kill me in real life, if someone calls me gay or a fag in the game, I tell them so what. I'm also very frank about my age, cos well i don't sound old. I'm 13. Even after knowing those facts, I've still have and get death threats from people. :( I mean come on its the double 0's. Why is there still so much hate in this world.. :( im only out online, irl im not. its sorta scary sometimes. i dunno if people can find me via xbox live.

Ryan Matheuszik said:

Hey guys, on behalf of the non-bigoted heterosexual population, I'd like to say this behavior is intolerable. However, you do have the option of submitting feedback about the players exhibiting homophobic behavior, and eventually this will have an impact. I make full use of this function every time I hear abusive or bigoted language.

There are lots of us out there who are not short-sighted, ignorant bigots. We just have our headsets off and our accounts set to "mute"

Nate said:

"Interesting to note how marking yourself as gay (with the literal, simple reference of a gay boy, nothing more) then silently playing a game with such an idenity (when i supposed normally its assumed your straight) = "holding them down and screaming "I HAVE SEX WITH MEN" in their faces""

Erm, well... Considering that the tag wasn't a literal simple reference. The entire thing was xxxGayBoyxxx.

What does XXX mean to most people? Generally, it relates to something sexual... like a XXX-rated porn or whatever. Maybe I'm old, but that's what immediately popped into my head.

Either way, you missed the point. The point had little to do with the actual video, but more with what people on this board are saying.

When you have a large group of extremely homophobic people, and you want to be accepted by them and allowed the same rights, you're not going to get it by "dressing up in assless leather chaps while riding a big black dildo float" (or in a less-extreme instance, having a gamertag like xxxGayBoyxxx). Like someone else said earlier... Lead by example. Be who you are. Don't stop being gay, don't stop loving who you love, but for FRICKSSAKE don't expect everyone to want to hear about what you're doing with them in your own private time. Most people don't care either way if you're gay or straight... but when you start telling people you're gay, then they're gonna get annoyed.

"Hi, my name is Nate. I want to teach you about God/Jehovah/Time Shares."

"Hi, my name is Nate. I'm gay/straight/bisexual."

"Hi, my name is Nate. I'm black/white/asian/unusually tall."

"Hi, my name is Nate."

Which one of those is the least obnoxious? Let people find out who you are on their own.

I can't tell you how many times I tell people that I hope that the fact that I'm gay isn't what defines me. I really do.

I fully embrace it, and if people aren't accepting of it, then I'm not particularily accepting of them either.

But it BETTER frickin' not be how people look at me. "Oh here comes Gay Nate. He's so gay. I wonder if he knows where they gays hang out or if he can do some interior decorating on my living room. I better keep him away from my kids though with his foul sextalk and over sexualized ways." is not what I want people thinking when I walk towards them. In general, I feel pretty annoyed by the way gay people are presented in the media, because it totally pushes these stereotypse.

For the record, my gamertag has to do with zombies, not my sexuality. However, if people start making homophobe comments, I generally jump in and say "hey knock it off, some of us are gay." or something like that. If it doesn't stop, I report their asses and move on. Oddly enough, it generally has never been an issue for me. In fact, I've met a lot of my XBL friends through normal conversation, and then later I learned they were gay.

RavenFell said:

Well, I can say I found the video stereotypical.

As for what Ry-Guy was saying, I agree. The issue here isn't whether it's OK to be gay, it's what it means to be gay. I agree with him in that I don't like pride parades, I don't like the idea of pride. Does that mean I say it has to stop? No, it means I will distance myself from that mentality.

What needs to happen is to change what it means to be gay. Honestly, regardless of what everyone here thinks/knows, the stereotype for being gay is being amoral, highly sexualized, queeny, overly dramatic, etc. To be honest, my experience in the gay world has done little to disprove those stereotypes. If you want things to change, there needs to be a concerted effort to gain the public eye NOT by prancing around in pink shirts and having sex on the streets, or wearing the chaps of your favorite sexual past-time in public. That only reinforces the current negative stereotypes. To get things to change, you need to change what it means to be gay. Right now, in my mind, being gay has very little to do with liking the same sex and more to do with a series of lifestyle choices I don't agree with.

Therefore, I don't broadcast the fact that I find men attractive. If asked, I will say it, but I don't see the need to walk around like a billboard ad broadcasting to those people who don't matter what isn't really their business to begin with. I want people to know me as a "person" first, then know the fact that I find men attractive.

But just because thats why I chose to live my life, doesn't mean thats how you all have to do it. It's your choice, and your choice alone, but looking up here I see people talking about understanding, and condemning ry-guy for how he lives his life. Talk about self-loathing within a community. The mentality of, "It's my way or not at all" has got to die--preferably a quick and silent death.

Otherwise, homosexuality will always be on the outside, and we will always see responses like this video. Within the community, everyone has got to come to terms with each other. Cause right now, all I see is bickering, infighting, name calling--all the reasons I've avoided the gay community to begin with.

The Tek Guy said:

Heya Buncle...

"Surely the point is, reactions like that *shouldn't* be expected. It is wrong for preconceived expectations to justify unacceptable behaviour."

Feel free to point out any era in history were that wasn't the case and I'll give you a hug.

"If persecuting someone based on a tag such as 'gayboy', then would it be acceptable to have to expect racist taunting if someone joins as 'blackguy'?"

See, nobody joins as "blackguy", and being black is not necessarily a lifestyle, whereas being gay most definitely is. And you are proud of that lifestyle, and rightfully so, and that is awesome. But again, think how a tag like this is perceived before you feel affronted by the reaction.

To someone who was brought up in a strictly christian family, "I am gay" is equivalent to "I am a sinner against the lord" and "Watch me bugger this guy up the arse". And calling them homophobic bastards is very unlikely to change that, and may well serve to reinforce their negative attitude towards you.

Likewise, insecure teenagers perceive anything outside of what they consider "normal" as a threat to their evolving lifestyle. If you're gay, they call you a faggot (they'll also call you faggot if you look feminine, have any hobbies that may be considered "girly", if you get along well with girls, you dress up unusually or just for the sake of calling you something). If you're overweight, they call you fattie (which is why nobody calls themselves xxx ObeseGuy xxx). If you're socially challenged they call you a nerd (this is why nobody calls themselves xxx IHaveNoFriends xxx).

Schoolboys have been like that since before schools existed, and the internet has granted them the possibility to experience group dynamics from the comfort and anonymity of their parents basement.

"Or discriminating someone called 'gamergirl'??"

Have you seen what happens when a woman joins a chatroom? Everybody either shuts up completely or makes sexual remarks toward her in (unfounded) hopes of getting in her gaming pants. This is why the women gamers I know usually stay off voicechat and choose a nondescript handle so as not to give away their gender.

I don't give away my nationality in anonmyous forums and chats. You can bet your ass there is at least one person in there responding with "All nazis should die" or "Hail Hitler" right away (and while I'm not for martial law per se, I can sympathise). So you can say I've been a closet german for most of my time online. I am appalled that so many people are extremely ignorant about world history, but at the same time, I kind of expect it, so it's not a big deal.

Maybe you should, too. Xbox Live is not show & tell.

Gonzo said:

Children and Southerners, they give all gamers a bad name. Unreal, people are so cruel. Including me, see above comment.

Enjoy your mAIDS said:

Now, I just might be crazy and out of the norm, but if someone who appears to be a fairly normal, alright kinda guy tells me they're gay, I'm going to have a better disposition towards them than the lisping fellow in the assless chaps. Something you might want to keep in mind.

On an unrelated note, "drag queens" disgust me. Either make an effort to be convincing (just how I like it) and keep it in bedroom.

Paul said:

to the tek guy:

haha yeah, of course, being gay is a "lifestyle" and a choice... bravisimo dude, bravisimo...

grow up, your beliefs don't give you the right to call anyone a faggot. you don't have a fuckin' clue about your religion if you think that's what your god (notice the lack of caps) expects from you.

dumbass...

Zadie said:

I just wish people would stop using the phrase "assless chaps". Chaps don't have an ass... they're designed for wearing pants under them, that's what makes them chaps and not pants. If you must use chaps as a metaphor for everything that's wrong with gay (male) culture, perhaps you should say "pantsless chaps". I know, that doesn't sound half so derogatory and shocking (to those who are afraid of... well, you know, sex), but it has the virtue of being precise.

Oh, and I too wish we lived in a perfect world without hate, but I'm realist enough to know that expressing yourself... any part of yourself... on Xbox Live is as useful and healthy as sticking your face in a fan.

Just hit mute and kill them... over and over and over... that's the Halo way.

The Tek Guy said:

Dear Paul,

Please read what I wrote before flaming me.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Sarre said:

I think the reason this video leaves a bad taste in many of our mouths is that xxxgayboyxxx, despite having the best of intentions, basically went into the game specifically to be victimized. xxxgayboyxxx was going out of his way to be provocative (via his choice of gamertag) in order to get footage, which raises the legitimate point that he was "asking for it" - he was asking for it, in order to create this video. It was an artificial situation - the vast majority of gay Live users are not going to make explicit reference to their sexuality in their gamertags, not because they are hiding anything but b/c they simply have no interest in doing so.

I personally think a more effective video would have been to simply compile anti-gay and racist comments encountered in the course of normal play that weren't prompted by a specific username - it doesn't seem like it would have been hard given how pervasive such comments are on Live. But, as xxxgayboyxxx says in his comment above, he is trying raise awareness of what a cesspool of hatespeech Live can be. His approach was gimmicky, and at first I dismissed the results because of it. But then I started to question my own presumptions about the Live community. Why should we "expect" to encounter these comments - just because its become the status quo? Why should it be tolerated? Live is a closed community that requires its users to pay for it, and also to agree to its Terms of Service/Code of Conduct. I don't think this video is a grand statement of politics or identity. Its simply saying "Hey, a lot of people on Live are violating the Terms of Service/Code of Conduct in a way that makes it hostile and even unusable to a significant number of its users." Those users are not just gays, but basically anyone who finds hatespeech offensive - which I think is a majority of Americans, though unfortunately not perhaps a majority of Live users.

The only thing that's going to stop this is stronger enforcement and monitoring from Microsoft, and that requires a stronger response from Live users - reporting people who use hatespeech until enough people have their accounts banned that its clear to all users that it won't be tolerated. Most of these users would not use this language in public, and Live is not private, despite being anonymous. The standards of the Live community need to be elevated, and this video, while a little demagogic, is nevertheless evidence of that fact, and hopefully an agent for change.

I've pasted excerpts from the Terms of Service below. Its unfortunate that they don't make a specific reference to sexual orientation, but I think its clear that anti-gay hatespeech is also not permitted. (I think the term about gamertags is interesting in this situation - can xxxgayboyxxx, while certainly provocative, really be considered "offensive" by anyone but the most intolerant homophobes?)

8. USE OF COMMUNICATION FACILITIES
Your use of the Service is subject to the Code of Conduct. You also agree not to do any of the following while being connected to the Service:

Defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten, or otherwise violate the legal rights (such as rights of privacy and publicity) of others.

Publish, distribute or disseminate any topic, name, material, file or information that incites, advocates, promotes, depicts, constitutes or expresses child pornography, profanity, hatred, bigotry, racism, illegal drug use, gratuitous or graphic violence or criminal or fraudulent activity.

Create a Gamertag or use text other profile fields that may offend other members. This includes comments that look, sound like, stand for, hint at, abbreviate, or insinuate any of the following: profane words/phrases, sexually explicit language, sexual innuendo, hate speech (including but not limited to racial, ethnic, or religious slurs), illegal drugs/controlled substances, or illegal activities.

Eric said:

"This is why geeks shouldn't comment on social issues. Their brains are too full of information regarding Dungeons and Dragons, RAID Arrays, and HDTV to know what the fuck they are talking about."

Brandon H, I love you.

kflair said:

GayGamer tech folks -- your Digg link appears to be a duplicate page. I'm not tech savvy enough to know what you need to change, but here's what looks to be the primary Digg page with the video link:
http://digg.com/videos/gaming/Halo_3_Homophobia_Evolved_NSFW

Bearfamily said:

Its strange how they are criticized by "some people" for being Pro-Gay and then on the other side do nothing about these people.

Or is it simply a case of 1 hand not knowing what the other is doing.

Ry-guy said:

RavenFell, thank you. I'm glad someone understands what I'm talkin' about FINALLY.

Ry-guy said:

As for what Chewy_Delt posted (Sorry, hate to post in succession..), you say that us being gay makes us different. Isn't that what we're trying to combat? Aren't we trying to be equal? Don't we want to be accepted and valued just as much as every other person on the face of the planet?

I know I do.

Davem said:

Ry-Guy, everyone is different. We want to be accepted despite our differences...not pretend they don't exist.

Chewey_Delt said:

Ry-Guy,

Being equal has absolutely nothing to do with homogenizing ourselves and diminishing out differences. No one's asking black folk to stop wearing traditional African garb in order for us to accept them as equals, nor is anyone asking Jews to stop wearing a yarmulke before we'll let them have full rights. We are a heterogeneous society and our differences are our strength.

Again, regardless of what you want to think, the very fact that we're gay automatically sets us apart from 90% of the population. We should not have to conform to demand equality.

To those who keep saying that "things will never change" if we keep having Pride parades instead of conforming to the desired norm, I have to counter with these statistics.

Contrary to your supposition, public opinion towards the GLBT community has improved remarkably over the last 30-40 years, despite (or, as likely, because of) the fact that Pride parades have continued over the years and campy behavior has persisted. I did a quick Lexis-Nexis search on opinions towards homosexuals starting from 1980 and going in approximately 5 year intervals. Here are the results.

A bit of a caveat here. It wasn't possible to find a question that was the same for every single poll period, which is going to mess up the results slightly. I'll post the question that's closest to being the same over time, and you can decide for yourself whether that's relevant or not.

Do you approve or disapprove of homosexual rights?


RESULTS:
Approve - 36
Disapprove - 52
Not sure - 11
Refused - 1

BEGINNING DATE: November 9, 1980

Do you think homosexual relations between consenting adults should or should not be legal?

RESULTS:
Should be legal - 44%
Should not be - 47
No opinion - 9

BEGINNING DATE: November 11, 1985

Do you think homosexual relations between consenting adults should or should not be legal?

RESULTS:
Should be legal - 36%
Should not - 54
Don't know/Refused - 10

BEGINNING DATE: August 29, 1991

Do you think homosexual relations between consenting adults should or should not be legal?

RESULTS:
Legal - 41%
Not legal - 47
Don't know/Refused - 9

BEGINNING DATE: November 21, 1996

Do you think homosexual relations between consenting adults should or should not be legal?

RESULTS:
Should be legal - 54%
Should not be legal - 42
No opinion - 4

BEGINNING DATE: May 10, 2001

Do you think homosexual relations between consenting adults should or should not be legal?

RESULTS:
Should be legal - 52%
Should not be legal - 43
No opinion - 5

BEGINNING DATE: May 2, 2005

Do you think homosexual relations between consenting adults should or should not be legal?

RESULTS:
Should be legal - 59%
Should not be legal - 37
No opinion - 4

BEGINNING DATE: May 10, 2007

Going from 36% disapproval of gays having rights in 1980 to 59% approving of the legality of homosexual relations between consenting adults in 2007 I would say is a pretty significant shift. This, even with the, dare I say, fabulous stereotypical representations of gays in the media that you're so concerned about.

Gen. Appithy said:

i find alot of what was written disheartening and the internalized homophobia disturbing.

there is alot of "those limp wristed fairy fucks give us a bad name attitude" which doesn't seem to be coupled with "those bigoted gamers give us a bad name." so gay people are suppose to assimilate but str8 gamers should be expected to be as vile as they want to be. i don't get it.

while i have never felt the need for any handle which revealed my sexuality i do understand them (even if i feel they are completely boring and unoriginal). the way we define ourselves is in who we deviate from the norm.

being gay puts us outside "normal" society. they gay culture is filled with a wide range of people and personalties and think that's amazing. i think that should be encouraged not railed against. that's what make so vibrant and beautiful. it's built around an idea of being free and an individual. how can freedom of expression EVER be a bad thing? i have no desire to assimilate into the dominant culture. i will not let FEAR make me just as boring and banal as they are. i will not let them dim my light. sure i don't like the gay pride parade or pride weekend but not because i find it embarrassing or offensive but because it's so boring. oh great another fat guy in chaps. the dykes on bikes can't be far behind.

i don't want people to think i'm straight because i'm not. but i never felt the need to wrap myself in a rainbow either. people know i'm gay because i am gay. and it's funny because i've had people say to me things like "you are different from other gay people i know" or "you're still like normal a guy." i can't help it's a little funny. but the point is being openly gay doesn't keep me from being a guy and being a guy doesn't keep me from being openly gay.

i can't help but applaud those that dare to be different. it isn't those who aren't afraid to be seen that do us the disservice but those that would seek to silence them. and nothing was ever won by hiding in the shadows. we can't be afraid of the light.

and ry-guy before you try to backpedal some more you yourself said you are anit-guy.

Justin Harbottle said:

Bravo Gen. Appithy, nice to see something with a bit of understanding behind it:)

Ry-guy said:

I never attempted to back-pedal. But I did use the phrase of me being anti-gay only in mock-seriousness. It was meant to state that I am anti-flamers. Because I am. I don't care to be stereotyped in that fashion. ::Shrug::

And a question: Everyone who has been against me (Quite a few of you, which is understandable) have been talking about self-expression and all that jazz. So why are you being bastards and telling me that my opinion is wrong? So I don't think like you do, and I am outspoken about my feelings on being stereotyped, yet you harp on me because you think people should think/act how they want and be outspoken (If they wish) about whatever? Seems like I got the shitty end of the deal, eh?

Chris said:

WAIT, THERE ARE YOUNG, HOMOPHOBIC, MISANTHROPIC LITTLE SHITS LACKING IN SOCIAL GRACES PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ONLINE???

MY...GOD.

Were you people born yesterday and turned gay in midafternoon?

Brandon said:

And thats why I don't intend on going online on the 360, cause of morons like this, that and its a pay per month thing, but mostly because of idiots like this.

Chewey_Delt said:

Ry-Guy,

I expected this. Every time people want to avoid the issue at hand the fall back on "why are you trying to limit my free speech?! Whaaaaaa!!"

The reality is that you can't see the forest for the fucking trees. There is not a person here who would say that you must go limp-wristed and start talking with a lisp. But the fact that you can't see the difference between expressing that you don't prefer to act like that, and hurling outright hatred towards those who are different from you is simply absurd. You're not simply outspoken; you're downright hateful towards those who don't fit into some norm that you prefer.

You're judging every single fairy out there based on some bullshit stereotype about fairies that you've internalized; you're essentially saying that all people who are flamers are bad people, without any doubt, because you're so fucking afraid of people stereotyping you. That's what we like to call insecurity, and you need to get the fuck over it.

You want to take on a victim complex because people criticize you for being a hateful self-loathing bigot? Fucking go right ahead. The rest of us will see right through it.

crithon said:

I tend to play a lot of Team Fortress and Counter Strike and in that game I simply shut off the voice support and ignor them, but can you do that for everyone on XBox live.

Although I was thinking a lot how TF2 is designed for practicly no voice support, it's simple design of "Spy gets more points if he takes out the sentry." or "Medic gets more points if he heals his team mates." and there's a big announcer saying "The capture point is being contested." Just in it's design you don't need that much voice chat in order to interact with everyone else.

but that's be just randomly thinking out loud, but I'm really crushed by this. I'm a straight man, and I love gaygamer and I encourage and recommend this site to all my friends, gay or straight because this is the best video game news site out there.

Ry-guy said:

I never once said you were limiting my speech, Delt. I simply pointed out the fact that your arguments are pointless if what you're arguing FOR is what I'm doing.

As for being insecure, that isn't the case. I don't want to be stereotyped because I want people to see me as me, not as -- what they conceive -- every other fairy out there. So go ahead, belittle and yell at me, 'cause it really isn't phasing me that much.

As for "hurling outright hatred towards those who are different from me," yeah, I'm allowed to do that. I hate people who give all of us a bad name. Period. It's the same thing as "thug" black people. My best friend growing up was black, and I have several good black friends, yet I despise the stereotypical black person because they are doing NOTHING to make people see them in a good light.

But of course, you'll have something to say to these statements as well, so go right ahead! I'm ready! :D

Jacent said:

I need to start recording my xbox live sessions, I've got a normal-ish tag JacentRabbit, and my voice isnt flamey or anything, and I still get called all sorts of crap with out ever making mention of anything remotely gay. Lets just face it "Dude thats gay" or "Your a fag" is the most common bro insult.
The better test would be for him to use that tag in other xboxlive games that dont have such a huge frat boy following.

David said:

Stuff this like makes me cry....It sucks that even in the gaming world, people can still be jerk offs to someone they don't even know..I'm very sorry that xxxGayBoyxxx had to experience that. And I hope that for those of us GLBTQ's who play Halo 3, we can find each other and form a clan and play online without this homobashing BS.

Rosethornn said:

I agree with the sentiment that "gayboy" is no worse than "blackguy", "asiankid", "gamergirl" or "jewishlad".

Is it okay to hurl abuse at "xxxJewishLadxxx"? I mean, come on, he's just asking for it with a name like that.

Gen. Appithy said:

so i've seen this argument before, but the truth is it doesn't work.

-i don't like person x or a person who behaves x

-i don't like that opinion because it si an afront to freedom of expression.

-isn't you trying to criticism my opinion an affront to freedom also?

you see but that doesn't hold water. being a proponent to free expression doesn't mean you stay silent against it's detractors.

and think about your own words man. do you think there are NO effeminate men who read these forums? how do you think they feel to see one of their own say to them they are the people bringing down the gay community. they are the source of what's wrong and that they diminish us?

i get your fear i really do. i know that sense of apprehension when you enter a new situation. what will happen when they find out im gay, how will they react? and people who are so unafraid and so unabashed are an afront to your fear, but that isn't their problem, that's yours.

minority groups have always had to deal with the negative stereotypes among them. there's always been the question of how do you deal with them. but while other minorities have had to deal with negative stereotypes of being lazy, stupid or criminals what is the stereotype that keeps the gay community awake at night? that someone asshole might think we are effeminate. really? is that it. is that the great fear? who the fuck cares man? anyone who would make an assumption based on the fact that you are gay is a moron and not worth the effort anyway.

binary gender roles are so antiquated and are nothing more then artificially created social constraints. binary gender roles are the things that tell us getting paid to cook is mans work but cooking for your family is womens works. binary gender roles tell us that men should be doctors and women nurses. don't buy into it. they are useless constraints on us. one of the great things about being gay is it gives us the ability to transcend such baseless notions.

like i said earlier i have no great love for the pride parade, but i do get it and i find it sad that the young generation doesn't. you are talking about a community who for many still have to live in fear hiding and isolation for most of the year. pride is the one time a year when we get to come out in force with the full support of the community and say "we will be heard. we will not remain silent or passive. we will not live in hiding." for most people coming out is still a major and dangerous thing. for the second year in a row the russian gay pride movement was met with violence. be gay is still serious business and pride still has it's place and it's value.

you say we should be quiet. you say we should be subtle and blend in. freedom was never won in silence. it takes aggressive action. to move boundaries you have to push them. once upon a time for a young straight couple to hold hands in public was considered obscene. for culture to move forward we can't be afraid of being obscene

we will not be free until will break free.
we will not be equal until we demand equality
we will not be protected until we protect ourselves.

i will not wait until they say i can walk into the clear light of day.
i will dance in the sun unabashed and unashamed.
i invite you all to do the same.

Chewey_Delt said:

Ry-Guy,

You're wrong there. I'm not really going to say much else on the subject, because nothing that you've said yet counters any of the contentions I've made about the things you've said. I've said my piece at this point, and I agree with the things Gen. Appithy has said as well. I'll keep fighting the good fight and you can go on trying to homogenize.

some one said:

It's simple. Everyone hates faggots.
Please kill yourselves, you stupid homos.

you are going to hell said:

fag

Anon said:

People who bring the real-world into the online world are irritating, period. Things like gender, nationality, and sexual orientation are irrelevant to Halo 3, and non-MMO games in general. With a name like Gayboy (or for that matter, gamergrrrl, blackdude,jewman, etc) you are drawing attention to yourself, and asking for commentary one way or the other. It is the same as if in real life, you walked into a room full of strangers and yelled, "HEY EVERYONE JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW I'M GAY...CARRY ON"

And finally, lulinternet. Get over it, no one cares, it is just a vidja gaem.

Anon said:

Some of what they said was actually pretty witty and funny, stop being so butthurt, it is just the interwebs.

Casey said:

Wow. I'm not gay but even so that was appalling. I can't believe all of this bigotry and prejudice in an online game. The funny think is, all these people who talk trash would probably get their asses handed to them on a platter for talking shit. I'm glad I was raised to not judge people based on their sexual orientation or race.

Jehuty said:

I don't like seeing AzNBoI8982,Filipinochica, PuertoRicanGangsta123 or ANYTHING that has to do with your race/religion/sexual orientation on AOL or XBL for that matter

why?

to me it shows arrogance, egotism, and how pretentious you are.

"Hi I'm Gay Boy and I'm better then you because I'm pride of who and what I am!"

I'm sure this isn't exactly the message he or anyone is trying to send when they display their "colors" but unfortunately it's how everyone, including myself, take it.

Why do you have to make sure everyone knows what you are or where your from? what does it say about you? Nothing except that you like to flaunt it to anyone and everyone.

When I meet someone for the first time and I find out their sexual orientation or cultural background through regular conversation my opinion or view of them hasn't changed from when the conversation first started

why?

because if your a jerk when I first meet you and you tell me your gay great, but your still a jerk.

I realize not everyone thinks like I do but I find something a lot easier to accept when its not forced on you.

Case in point, if he had made a regular gamertag and he "accidentally" let slip that he's homosexual and they still berate him for it then this video would have had a better point and a more significant impact.

Also I would like to apologize for the people in that video because sadly, modern science hasn't found a cure for stupidity, only made it easier to spread.

c'est la vie eh?...

Jehuty said:

I don't like seeing AzNBoI8982,Filipinochica, PuertoRicanGangsta123 or ANYTHING that has to do with your race/religion/sexual orientation on AOL or XBL for that matter

why?

to me it shows arrogance, egotism, and how pretentious you are.

"Hi I'm Gay Boy and I'm better then you because I'm pride of who and what I am!"

I'm sure this isn't exactly the message he or anyone is trying to send when they display their "colors" but unfortunately it's how everyone, including myself, take it.

Why do you have to make sure everyone knows what you are or where your from? what does it say about you? Nothing except that you like to flaunt it to anyone and everyone.

When I meet someone for the first time and I find out their sexual orientation or cultural background through regular conversation my opinion or view of them hasn't changed from when the conversation first started

why?

because if your a jerk when I first meet you and you tell me your gay great, but your still a jerk.

I realize not everyone thinks like I do but I find something a lot easier to accept when its not forced on you.

Case in point, if he had made a regular gamertag and he "accidentally" let slip that he's homosexual and they still berate him for it then this video would have had a better point and a more significant impact.

Also I would like to apologize for the people in that video because sadly, modern science hasn't found a cure for stupidity, only made it easier to spread.

c'est la vie eh?...

Aberu said:

Ur name is gay boy on Live? I would have probably ripped on you, because it's like your flamebaiting on purpose, and obviously so. Making a website for gay gamers is flamebaiting too srsly. Why can't gamers unite, we aren't seperated by who we have sex/want to have sex with.

winter twilight said:

My username is "winter twilight". It doesn't show which gender I am, but because of my high pitched voice people ask if I'm a girl. And when I say I am, without having done ANYTHING to them, they say I sound "manly", call me a "lesbian", "bitch", "slut", tell me to "go back to the kitchen" etc. While I don't agree that it was exactly biased or fair because the username was not neutral, it DOES happen to people with neutral usernames.

bfdd said:

I stumbled across this on DailyTech.com watched the video read the article and comments. I must say the video sounds like a setup. I've heard the same and worse on live, but one doesn't need to go on XBL with the name xxxGayBoyxxx to be called a faggot or asked how many guys have fucked them in the ass. I've had 13 yr old boys ask me how many boyfriends I have with my girlfriend sitting next to me in the room. These people are just idiots.

Also to Ry-guy, I don't like people shoving anything in my face or forcing me to accept them anyway possible. I'm a firm believer than in order to have tolerance you must be tolerable of peoples intolerance. I'm not saying let jackasses make fun of your sexual prefrence, I have gay friends and family members and I'd stand up for them in a heart beat, but I also have a dad who doesn't like gays so *shrug*. I have nothing wrong with hate speech or people not liking someones lifestyle(I'm not saying you choose to be gay I'm simplying calling it a lifestyle don't try and flame me for it), race, religion as long as they're not total douches about it.

My question to some of you is, why should everyone have to accept you for who and what you are? I understand I haven't gone through the hate some of you have being straight, but I just don't get it. I care about what I and those who I care about think of me period, as long as those important to me accept me I'm happy. Isn't that all that matters?

holto said:

Not sure what to say here. I'm a long time lurker and felt compelled to present a comment but feel I would type forever.

Basically watching the video I AM disturbed by the few comments that seemed to be truly backed with a fervent hate. It was actually quite unnerving on a level that if you met that person in real life you might want to watch your back. ugh.

BUT. That being said, ALOT of the comments seemed like the normal fraternal antagonistic and goofy ribbing that goes on in many an xBox Live game. I've been called white trash mother-fucker, hick (from the south), joto (my gamertag is holto), faggot, asshole (pretty insulting for me since I don't like being thought of as a sphincter with feces coming out of it), bitch, nigger, ma nigga, pussy, etc.

It's a fairly chaotic, immature environment in general and you have to roll with it. To the whole of the Live community the gamertag has become a point from which to be silly, prodding, or offensive, so when you enter a room with a "distinctive" gamertag, you are going to get shit about it.

It's pretty much a point of conversation with all rooms. I have a a friend named rapingwithlove and I gave him shit about it because there are actually a few kids in my friends list and I don't feel that is an appropriate name for the community we present ourselves in.

Now, it is sad that the word "gay" has become less thought of as happy and more thought of as a sexual reference, but the fact remains that it has. So besides the fact that he went into the room trying to inflame a group, he also has what COULD be deemed a name that implies sexual activity, which some people wouldn't want their kids exposed to. I would think you could say the same thing about someone who had the name xxxHeteroBoyxxx. I THINK this is what ry guy is also getting at. I sometimes feel that watching pride parades is like seeing a PG-rated sex scene, which is inappropriate in public, gay or straight.

My friends and family who are gay don't hide who they are at all. But they also don't make their live all about what kind of sex they have, because well, frankly, unless you are working in porn, it's a little odd, therefore, a little striking and reaction provoking.

Unlike Ry Guy, I don't see the problem with rainbows, etc (other than it took a storybook fantasy icon and made it pretty sexually charged) on cars, clothes anything. as long as it's in moderation. The same way it's annoying when someone constantly preaches at me, etc.

Anyway, I'm getting into a ramble, but the bottom line is that it's definitely wrong that there is still this mentality in the world where we fear what we are not, but the basics of what "Gay Pride" are about deal with another heavy taboo, being sex. So to put that out in public also incites gut reactions to what many people consider a private matter to begin with and DEEPLY riddled with taboo.

The other thing to consider (again beyond the TRULY hateful speech that was in there) is the desensitization of certain terms and words by culture in general. This is very similar to the debate raging about the word nigger. Millions of little white kids growing up listening to rappers calling each other niggers and hos and we are surprised when they don't realize the gravity of using the word in reference to a black friend, rival, etc, when it's being SOLD to them by pop culture?

I admit that among other profanities I use alot I do say "that is so gay" from time to time, but it really has never ever in my life been meant as "that's so bad and homosexual" It's just another desensitized term that we have created over the years that doesn't really hold the same meaning for many people that it it used to. I didn't even think about it until one day I realized that I had said it like 20 times in a conversation with my friend Ross and all of a sudden I was like "oh shit" and when I asked him about it he was like, whatever, I say that shit all the time myself. It hit me that the term really had lost it's meaning to many people. Of course there will still be some people who take offense to it.

My good friend Ross (who is gay) constantly talks about how flaming some things are. Another work colleague of mine used to say that he was just an "old fag" and that I shouldn't listen to him anyway. My friend Kristi constantly makes lesbian AND straight jokes until my ears bleed. It's typically the stereotypical actions that we single out to make light of. Don't tell me that when you are in the company of a mojority of gay friends you NEVER EVER IMAGINE making straight jokes. Sometimes we just do some funny shit and sometimes that funny shit just happens to fit the stereotypes we tend to match. Sometimes it becomes a slightly inappropriate joke or comment that through ignorance or brazen stupidity gets used in a group and it's so "on the line" that some take offense and others don't. I'm from the south and while I pride myself on being intelligent, I don't always take offense to dumb redneck jokes because I really have met SHIT-TONS of people who fit those stereotypes.

It hits much closer to home for us when it's truly something we look for because it is relevant to a particular part of our lives period. We never put ourselves in the other persons shoes enough, but sometimes you have to roll with it when they aren't in ours either.

Sorry, don't think I really illustrated my point very well here, but I guess it's that sometimes there are shitty fuckers who deserve to be handled in a not so life-preserving way ("I'd like to hang all gay people" guy is one of them) but some others really are just playing out old stupid motions that really shouldn't be taken to mean anything deeper. I even thought the guy who said "we got GayBoy on our team" seemed to be genuinely being friendly about it.

I hope this presents another point of view from someone who is straight and has many family and friends who are not (and love them all with every grain of my being) but also thinks that sometimes you have to apply logic to a situation, and I know if I walk into the most ghetto and rough part of atlanta with a shirt on that says "I'm a WhiteBoy" I'm probably going to get ribbed for it and maybe worse. It's not right, but it's that way for now, and LOGIC dictates that I not do that in that situation, nor would I want too, because my whiteness and my sex with my wife doesn't make me who I am. really it doesn't. Yes, it may have a BEARING on that in some very small way, but my friends, family and experiences do most of it.

That being said, I play with a decent group of guys and girls, many white, some black, hispanic, asian, mixed, southern, northern and foreign, a few gay and a alot straight who I can say for what it's worth are really good people and fun to play with. But be warned, there may be the occasional SEEMINGLY homophobic remark thrown around along with any other number of slurs, but never in an oppressive or evil spirited way (and if it is they aren't part of my friends list). It is after all a competitive shit-talking environment.

I invite everyone here onto my friends list to come and play some Gears, Halo, PGR, Team Fortress, Katamari, etc.

Gamertag:holto

Hope to see you all in the game!!! Sorry I went on so long I guess I did write a friggin book.

Thanks for the great site and the insightful conversation.

Kris said:

Most people that play Halo 3 are Southern State redneck sheep-fuckers. Of course they're gonna bash someone called "xxx Gay Boy xxx".

He kind of asks for it for making that his gamertag, though.

holto said:

funny thing about the comment by Kris is that:

A: Some of the most intolerant groups of rednecks I ever met were in Pennsylvania and Ohio.

B: I don't think I've ever seen a sheep farm in the south. I'm sure they have to be SOME, but I have seen tons in midwest states.

But I agree, that the most hostile online experiences I have had are while playing Halo games period.

James Oliver said:

First it would like to leave clearly that I do not agree to the homossexualism, but I do not have no preconception against homosexuals, what they are two distinct things. Unhappyly the great majority of the living mental disabled in our planet, can´t see you own navel, they can´t clean own proper rectum and they want to deduct in who does not have none I tie with its difficulty. Happily or unhappyly the games, mainly of action, serve as space for many of the “disabled” can dissimulate to be somebody who never would obtain while still alive real, liberating its emotional one, of joy, sadness and also its racism. Incapable to be somebody, they deduct in that the proper society calls of weak, that they are: women, aged, homosexuals, mainly homosexuality masculine. They offend by bad words, but they forget that they have fear and cry in the night the dark on your own bed.
"Sorry about my english, I do not speak well, cause I'm not american"

TexCub said:

Wow. Even threats of lynching? That's a bit harsh. This is the reason that I only play with friends and it's also the reason that I own two copies of Halo 3 and haven't even taken the time to boot them up.

This kind of puts Nintendo's motivation for using Friend Codes in perspective, doesn't it?

At least I have a post to point to when people ask me why a site like GG exists. I forget how dangerously ignorant some segments of the population can be.

shoalin cochino said:

I'm a straight male that believes in equality. I play alot of uno and halo, both of these games are filled with crazy racist and gay bashers.It's gotten so bad and annoying that I just play with people I know instead of just jumping in a room.

Tomokun said:

Ok, my friend pointed out this post/video to me, asking my opinion on it. For the record:

-I'm not gay.
-I'm not bi.
-I'm a gamer.
-I believe everything is funny depending on the perspective, otherwise schadenfreude would be nonsensical even in German.

That being said, the folks out there who are offended are getting waaaaaaaaaay to much exercise on their euphemism-treadmill. The fact that you get offended by anything that teenagers while they are cloaked in anonymity says more about you than the "hurtful" things they say says about them.

Get real here, the guy calls himself gayboy, and you are surprised they call him by his name. What do you expect them to call him? Homophobia has a nasty cousin, and it's called heterophobia, did you know that? It comes out when people confuse pride and self-identity with prejudice, and it happens because people are so biased and self-centered that they think being "PC" is a good thing.

Get off your high-horse already and step into the harsh light of reality. When people hang out with their friends, they are often, "insulting". I've been called a "fag" by my friends and people who I'm friendly with more times than I can count. I in turn make fun of gays, Canadians, the French, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, adolescents, geriatrics, and any other "group" you can come up with. Why?

Because its funny until someone takes it personally.

But if everyone bothered to watch out for everyone's feelings than we would be relegated to knock-knock jokes....if that. What matters is not the name, but the intent with how that name is delivered. People on X-Box live LIVE for confrontation and competition. Every single one of them. If not, they'd stick to single-player games. Period. No exceptions. So surprise surprise, they not only compete with digital bullets but with verbal ones. It has NOTHING to do with homophobia and everything to do with the personalities that intersect in a competitive online world.

However, heterophobes will interpret these actions as "homophobic" because of the insults that attack personal identity. With - what did someone else say, 8%? - of the population being gay, the person being attacked is most likely straight, not gay. What they did was the equivalent of a homosexual calling someone a "breeder", or referring to them as a "str8".

I could go on for pages but I have neither the time nor the inclination. I did this for my friend. Oh, and about you guys 'n gals having your own "gaming" website...*shrugs*. If you really feel you need it. On the one hand, it promotes your segregation by creating yet another exclusive sub-group, but hey....at least it is VERY specific to the type of audience you want to appeal to. Probably great for dating...but not much else I imagine.

Tim Burn said:

The idiot who created the tag name *gayboy* is the problem here. What a waste of time even talking about this.

Andrey said:

Wow for a gay gaming board I'm suprised at the amount of internalized homophobia going on.

I'm guessing the guys who thought he was asking for it wouldn't mind being bashed for holding their boyfriend's hand in public. Oh wait they probalby wouldn't have the balls to ever hold thier boyfriend's hand in public.

Chris said:

This is not just an issue for gay gamers. This is an issue for EVERYONE who has EVER played Halo 3. It is not the games fault either. Or Xbox lives fault for that matter.

With the amount of people playing Halo 3 you are bound to get TONS of casual gamers playing games who are going to be A holes.

But if my name was "dirtybastard"...i'd fully expect people to call me a dirty bastard before, during and after every game.

ilikesembig said:

I get this a lot, which is one of the reasons I don't like playing online games with those who aren't my friends (aka "strangers"), because of this bullsnap.

xev said:

Well... that just sheds light on the people that make up the majority of xbox live players.

Most of them will think europa is a country or kurt gödel has something to do with the holocaust.

Zosete said:

Whoa! Lots of feedback on this one.

In Spain -and I guess the whole Europe could be thrown in- is a common belief that everyone on Live from the US is a retarded 11-year old. Maybe is because of the time difference, and we only get to play with the kids outta school.

Just silence them and don't be to worried about educating them. Someone's got to wait the tables, deliver our groceries and fix our pipes -nudge,wink- in the future.

Pardon my english.

Dustea said:

Andrey said:
...

I'm guessing the guys who thought he was asking for it wouldn't mind being bashed for holding their boyfriend's hand in public. Oh wait they probalby wouldn't have the balls to ever hold thier boyfriend's hand in public.


- Dude. The reason I sometimes avoid holding my boyfriend hand in public is because I 'will' get bashed. You have to use some common sence- we're gay; thats something that not all people are ok with, Im just saying we should use discression in situations- Like X-box live- everyone knows that if you go into a game with that tag, all the Halo 11-year old fan boys are going to bash you. Its kinda like running into a NRA meeting and waving around a rainbow flag. There are times when open sexuality is ok and great and awesome, and I do it when I can, but other times- you have to watch your back, or you can get shot.

AnonWolf said:

It's kinda amusing how it focuses on the guy being called by his name, Gay Boy. Really, that little bit was entirely unnessecary.

Seriously, man. If you call yourself gay boy, do you really expect that people will not call you gay boy?

Now, that said... People are bastards when they're anonymous. This is well-known. This shouldn't come as a shock to any of you.

Tsavvy said:

Really? its the internet. what did you expect?

cam said:

why the hell would you tag yourself as 'gayboy' in the first place. is your sexuality your most defining characteristic? their words are pathetic and so are you

And girls who like girls who like rumble packs!

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