Cho Aniki Zero

Aksys games recently released a pretty epic press release for their upcoming game, Cho Aniki Zero. If you're not familiar with Cho Aniki, here's a Wikia article I wrote about it some time ago. Cho Aniki is basically the single gayest video game franchise ever. The title roughly translates to "mighty brothers" which I'm pretty sure has some tongue-in-cheek "more than just brothers" connotation in Japanese. While essentially shmups, the Cho Aniki games are stylized so that you often play as oiled up flying muscle men shooting "men's protein" (read: semen) at creepy airships that often have sexual or religious design aesthetics. It's weird.

But even more weird is the press release for the upcoming download-only PSP game, Cho Aniki Zero. I'm going to include the press release in full and just underline the gayest parts:

Torrance, CA (October 13th, 2009) - Aksys Games, a publisher of interactive entertainment products, proudly brings you this announcement, in exaltation of all that is manly: in spring 2010, Cho Aniki Zero will be oiled up and ready to thrust its way onto your PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system! Sold exclusively as a digital download through the PlayStation®Store, Cho Aniki Zero gives players the chance to take part in an epic struggle alongside heroes Idaten and Benten as they blast through the muscle-bounded forces of Emperor Balzac II.

Cho Aniki Zero brings manliness back to the old-school shoot-em-up genre and, warps it to another dimension of sights and sounds. In Cho Aniki Zero, players will be introduced to brand-new characters and newly heightened experiences of rhythmic action, intertwined with the famous BGM of Kouji Hayama. Battle through five man-rageous levels of brotherly love and muscle-on-muscle madness!

The Story So Far...

Since the death of Balzac, the Builder Planet has celebrated a long period of peace.

However, as time goes by, protein becomes scarce, and protein deficiency is soon a serious problem for the Builder Planet. As people struggle for control over what protein is left, Balzac II begins his subtle rise to power...

Learning of his return, Idaten and Benten take up arms and begin their man-tastic voyage...

"Cho Aniki Zero is a real trip," said Frank "Bo" deWindt II, Associate Producer, Aksys Games. "It's wacky, hilarious, and just plain fun. Be it the crazy characters, the challenging gameplay, or even the out-of-this-world enemies, you'll find yourself chugging down protein shakes between levels before you know it!"

Key Features:

• MUSCLE REIGNS SUPREME

Choose between Idaten and Benten, then select your "Option" (sidekick) such as Samson, Adon, or Micha & El. Defeat Emperor Balzac before he claims the universe's protein for himself!

• MEN'S BEEEEEEEAM!
Too much man-action on the screen? Collect enough Man Protein to unleash the devastating attack of the Men's Beam!

• IT'S RAINING MEN!
Blaze through five man-mazing levels of love, and bear witness to the birth and rebirth of some of the greatest bromances of all time!

• CHOOSE WISELY...
Cho Aniki Zero offers multiple paths that leads to various endings for our muscle-bound heroes!

Get it? I underlined everything because it's all gay. Really really gay. It's like their copy editor went through and made sure every single sentence had a facial. Amazing. If you can't wait for 2010 to get your man love on, you can download the original Cho Aniki on TG 16 section of the Wii's Virtual Console for 800 Wii Points.