Missing The Point: Why We Need More LGBT Visibility In Gaming
In 2002, white-supremacist music label Resistance Records released Ethnic Cleansing, a technically unimpressive first person shooter that has your skinhead or KKK protagonist (they provide a choice!) gunning down stereotyped representations of African Americans, Latinos and Jews in an effort to "protect" white people from their influences. Claiming "real black people" were used to voice character sounds, enemies grunt and hoot like apes, Mexican characters utter racist catchphrases and all the Jewish NPCs have stylized big noses. Although it hardly made news in mainstream gaming media, it received the expected level of shock and disapproval from those aware of it outside of white-supremacist groups, with the Anti-Defamation League going so far as to lobby the Interactive Digital Software Association to adopt policies preventing the member companies' tools being used to create such games in the future. Earlier this year a city councilman from Georgia resigned after it became public that he'd been gleefully circulating links to Flash-based Border Patrol, a shooter that has you killing illegal immigrants as they attempt to cross the US border. Closer to home, one of the issues brought up at the recent GLAAD panel on homphobia in online communities was a similar shooter to Border Patrol called Watch Out Behind You, Hunter!, which has your character killing naked gay men chasing him in a park; if they catch up to you, you're "raped" and lose the game. Originally created for a French gaming portal, the shooter was pulled and resurfaced over the summer on a Georgian (the country, not the councilman) website to renewed controversy.
I promise there's a reason for this history lesson.
Yesterday both Joystiq and Kotaku covered the release of a new academically-approved public survey soliciting opinions from LGBT and heterosexual gamers about what they look for in video games. The survey itself didn't impress me much, personally, from the eyeroll-inducing "gaymer" phrase to the limited choices in various questions-- seriously, a survey targeted to LGBT individuals and the only choices about gender are male or female?-- but it's a good jumping-off point to examine the sort of outrage anything like this generates in heterosexual-dominated gaming circles.
Let's start with this comment: (10/10 edit: the comment by solaranox looks to have been deleted by moderators at Joystiq, so I've uploaded a screenshot of it here taken from a cache of the website before the comment was removed)
Again, I really wonder why Joystiq continues to bring sexual preferences into the lime light on a gaming site???What do the two things have to do with each other? Really?
OK, some (Is it alright if I use the word Gay?) people like to play games.
So what?
Why is this posted on a gaming blog?
[...]
Please Joystiq, quit preaching to us about things that really have nothing to do with gaming or games. That is NOT what we come here for!
This is representative of the sort of hostility that comes out whenever this subject is explored to any degree. When you discount the outright homophobes (who obviously can be expected to take offense to something like this) you're still left with a depressingly large segment of people who bristle all the same. From straight people it always seems to me as a sort of "I'm not racist, I have black friends!" in the way they try to justify not seeing "the point" in any additional gay content in games, whether we're talking about more representation for the LGBT players or something as simple as gay-styled NPCs. I also know gay people who feel similarly, but much like Log Cabin Republicans I just don't understand the mentality, though I have to suspect (and I'm not going to mince words here) that their discomfort with it stems from a place of deeply suppressed and rarely examined issues with their own sexuality.
I know that this subject has been explored a lot both here and elsewhere, but it's a broken record that comes up again and again and again. In an earlier entry I brought up the idea of a "good representation" of LGBT people in a video game; being a gay man aside, I still take a story for what it is. If a gay character is thrown into a game with a very scripted, linear plot-- like, say, Prototype-- and their sexuality actually serves no purpose to the story, I'm likely going to feel that it's tacked on and corny or simply pandering to LGBT people. In a game that is all about choices and decisions-- like Mass Effect, which did allow for the possibility of lesbian interaction if you created a female character-- then there's little excuse to leave orientation references heterosexual only. Or worse, the lesbian-only half-hearted implementation that seems to similarly cater to frat boy sexual fantasies over legitimate storytelling.
Yet this topic is frequently the source of teeth-gnashing from the majority of gamers. Mike Fahey, the writer of the Kotaku version of the survey coverage, says:
As for the survey's motivation, I find myself a bit conflicted. I've just never thought of gaming as a pastime that sexual orientation figures into.
Well no, Mike; as a presumed heterosexual male I guess that wouldn't be something you're likely to think of, given that the default sexuality is always straight, whether we're talking about TV shows or movies or games. As a gay man, I didn't come out once; I have to come out of the closet constantly because it's assumed that I'm straight and it's on me to correct that assumption, unless I want to make things easier by camping it up to such a degree that the assumption is changed to "oh yes, he's got to be gay." As an outlier to the default I am constantly face-to-face with how I am different, so "sexual orientation" is going to be a bigger deal to me in places it won't matter to straight people and I'm going to notice the glaring lack of representation in places straight people didn't realize something was missing. I would think that this is easy logic to follow but apparent it isn't, since other gamers constantly wail about how it's injecting something irrelevant into their particular hobby.
"Lighten up, it's just a game." The extreme examples I used at the start highlight the fact that "just a game" is becoming less and less acceptable as a dismissal to the very real issues they involve themselves with. You can wax poetically about artistic merit, but if a director released a film titled "Black People Need to Go Back to Africa" with any sort of content like Ethnic Cleansing, I honestly doubt you would see any commentary to the effect of "lighten up, it's just a movie." But games still seem to exist in some special class where what happens in them is not subject to the same expectations we have about other mediums or polite society in general, and if you happen to be one of the ones who attempts to apply those standards you're strongly confronted as crossing the line. Increasingly I feel like "I don't think this is relevant" is some demure codeword for "it makes me feel icky and I do not want" and I suspect that the gamers complaining the loudest about how they don't feel it's necessary aren't going to notice any of the hypersexual marketing that's pelted at them by game developers-- and if they do notice, they won't have an issue with it.
Ultimately it's just an issue of visibility. Gay characters (and explicitly stating that you, yourself, are a gay gamer) might be irrelevant to many or most heterosexual gamers (and sadly some gay ones; come on guys!) but it is still an elevation for awareness that has a very tangible effect on the people who see it. If one gay teenager living in middle America can look at such a representation, whether from video games or movies or TV shows, and feel less alone because they see themselves reflected in a way that seems "normal" and "okay" then that is a powerful accomplishment. If one straight kid sees the same thing and it changes how they react towards gay people for the better, it's an improvement for our rights and treatment in a way that political lobbying will never match. That is why this stuff is important and why dismissals about it being irrelevant or out of line hold no weight.
mixvio
Posted to Hot Stuff, Miscellany on 9 October 2009
· Comments (29)
Other stuff like this: full sail university, gay gamers, op-ed, opinion, survey
Wow. Stuff I already knew, and oft try to explain myself to friends, aquaintences, and others in my life, but none so thorough as what I have read. Thanks there Mixvio!
I was actually bothered by the way Mike Fahey posited "Now that we know they do indeed exist, it's time to find out what they like."
It was as though the concept that GLBT gamers might be reading his article, considering themselves part of his audience, were instantly pushed to outsider status. It was the first time I ever thought of Kotaku as a blog as heterosexist.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Let me start off by saying that I agree with what you have said in most of this article, especially with your comments on Mass Effect. I actually made a comment about that on Kotaku yesterday when responding to their post. I do have some issues with the way that gay people are portrayed in video games, the over-the-top gay character in the main story GTA IV springs to mind as a recent example, and I dislike when options, like Mass Effect, are presented for Hetero or Lesbian sex only. I actually really enjoyed how the issue was handled in Fable 2, you had the option to marry/sleep with whoever you wanted and it just felt natural to the game, not something that was tacked on or something that was made into a huge deal.
Now, to my main issue with your article. You state "I also know gay people who feel similarly, but much like Log Cabin Republicans I just don't understand the mentality, though I have to suspect (and I'm not going to mince words here) that their discomfort with it stems from a place of deeply suppressed and rarely examined issues with their own sexuality.". I may be the only person that will take issue with that comment, and that's fine and you could also probably justify it away the same way you are choosing to with this statement, but I just don't see how my desire to not have a "OMG TOTALLY GAYZ GAME" makes me internally homophobic. I agree, that as a gay male I have to constantly come out to people when I mention my partner, but at the same time I see being gay as only a part of who I am as a person as a whole, just like being a gamer is a part of who I am as well. I have never understood the mentality that just because I'm gay I have to love shopping, be girly-girly, love drag and men-on-men grinding at Pride Parades, bathroom sex, etc. etc. in order to be an accepted member of the "gay community". And then, if I voice any criticism of the community, or don't feel like I need a gay character in every video game I play, I am somehow internally homophobic. I'm all for additional representations and options of gay characters in games but if they're not included, it's not going to stop my gaming.
I was actually quite pleased and impressed with the survey. Yes, the choices for gender are regrettably lacking, and in the "additional comments" at the end of the survey I made a special point of making that clear to the people at Full Sail. But the actual content of the survey I thought was good stuff.
I will be very interested to see how the results of the survey pan out. Since the survey has been posted on sites like Kotaku and Joystiq, I'm expecting that there will be a large number of straight respondents. It will be interesting to see how they respond to the questions about how a gay lead character would impact their buying decisions. Though the comments on those site have been mostly negative, it's usually the negative people who are the most vocal even when they are not the majority, so I look forward to the survey's results. If publishers see that gay characters won't impact people's buying habits, or might even improve the chances of people buying their games, then there is a higher chance that there will be more gay characters in games.
I just hope that if that does happen, and there are more gay characters, that they don't follow the lead of games like Enchanted Arms and Mass Effect and instead look at games like Fable 2, Valkyria Chronicles, and Indigo Prophecy.
Awesome article. It made me realize that video games have great potential for helping people realize that being gay isn't such a weird thing, but right now that potential is untapped. It's time for game developers to man up and send that message!
Powerful. I agree on all points.
"Now that we know they exist"? Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't Fruit Brute been writing for Kotaku for some time?
It can be so easy to do little things.
Take Uncharted 2, which I picked up at the event on Tuesday. Consider Jeff. Drake wonders aloud if Jeff and Elena are a couple. What if the answer was along the lines of "I think he's more into you". Or something else to suggest Jeff was gay.
No effect of the story -- nothing else would need to change (at least in the first half of the game). And it's nothing compared to the interactions in both Uncharted games between Drake and his female companions. But it would have made a difference to me.
@ Icayrus
Tony in the Ballad of Gay Tony seems over the top to you? He's got flair but I wouldn't call him over the top. His S's aren't even that sibilant! He's more East Coast entertainment exec than anything else.
And to that point (oh look someone left a soapbox here for me to stand on) swishy characters are only a problem for me when they are depicted as completely unheroic (A la Enchanted Arms or Andrew from Buffy the Vampire Slayer).
@ Shade:
"the over-the-top gay character in the main story GTA IV springs to mind"
I believe Icayrus is talking about the gay mission in the main story, since Ballad of Gay Tony is an expansion pack, not the main story.
That character was quite a bit different from Tony Prince.
@Shade:
I'm actually talking about Florian aka Bernie Crane, that's what I meant when I said main story line. I've barely heard/seen much of Gay Tony (avoiding trailers so I can experience the add-on content for myself) so I don't really have an opinion on him at this point.
I have recently started playing Valkyrie Chronicles in part because of how it was put forth as being very gay-friendly.
But having read up on the 'gay' characters to make sure I would get them in my team, I was surprised to find that there were actually only two characters that had the Likes Men characteristic. Of those two one also has Likes Women, so he's bisexual. The other is as much an effemenised stereotype as the guy from Enchanted Arms, although he is one of the better fighters appearantly.
With only one actual gay character that is still a stereotype, I am slightly puzzled at why VC is put forth as being so gay-positive.
Icayrus:
"Now, to my main issue with your article. You state "I also know gay people who feel similarly, but much like Log Cabin Republicans I just don't understand the mentality, though I have to suspect (and I'm not going to mince words here) that their discomfort with it stems from a place of deeply suppressed and rarely examined issues with their own sexuality.". I may be the only person that will take issue with that comment, and that's fine and you could also probably justify it away the same way you are choosing to with this statement, but I just don't see how my desire to not have a "OMG TOTALLY GAYZ GAME" makes me internally homophobic. I agree, that as a gay male I have to constantly come out to people when I mention my partner, but at the same time I see being gay as only a part of who I am as a person as a whole, just like being a gamer is a part of who I am as well. I have never understood the mentality that just because I'm gay I have to love shopping, be girly-girly, love drag and men-on-men grinding at Pride Parades, bathroom sex, etc. etc. in order to be an accepted member of the "gay community". And then, if I voice any criticism of the community, or don't feel like I need a gay character in every video game I play, I am somehow internally homophobic. I'm all for additional representations and options of gay characters in games but if they're not included, it's not going to stop my gaming."
---
I wouldn't say that it necessarily makes you internally homophobic. While I think more gay "themes" would be positive for LGBT people, as I pointed out in the article, it would have to be weighed against the context of the story itself. Just throwing a character in who waves his arms about saying "Look I'm gay, equality!" will be lame to me, even if it's meant to be something positive.
I think the concept is a good idea, but I groan internally at most of the applications. Nexus mentioned Makoto from Enchanted Arms, which has to be one of the most offensive things I've seen in any medium that wasn't meant to be offensive or meant to be a parody. The entire concept of Makoto was to poke fun at the effeminate stereotype of limp-wristed gay men; he has a super crush on the popular straight character who everyone loves, and the main character constantly refers to it as creepy and gross. That same popular character getting leered at by women has the main character lamenting that it's not fair how he gets all the attention. Through many points Makoto complains that things are just too hard and he doesn't want to do it, whining about the effort (he literally complained about how going into a dark cave was bad for his skin). His entire existence in the game is to be the joke at his effeminacy's expense, and then he disappears early on only to return as a less effeminate, grizzly character who now everyone thinks is cool as well because he's not so flaming.
The reason why I found that so offensive wasn't because they put an effeminate character in the game-- I'm hardly the poster child for strapping masculinity, and I'm sure we all know someone who's campier than Makoto. But the entire game was about exploiting it for how it could be laughed at, no better than making a bunch of fat jokes.
I didn't think Makoto was a great inspiring character for gay visibility, so more of that in games and I would easily have a problem with it too.
Now, however (coming back to my point), if you're one of the gay men that the very idea of more gay people in a game at all makes you twitch and complain and mash out comments like I pointed out above, then I do think it's time to reflect on why seeing more gay people makes you have that visceral reaction. I have seen that viewpoint added to the discussion and it boggles me; I might not always like the way it's represented but I can still see the value, and when I come across another gay man who vehemently does not I can only guess the reason they react so strongly is because seeing more gay characters would confront them with a part of themselves they probably aren't comfortable with.
Your other points aren't directly related to gaming but they highlight another thing that I take a bit of offense at, something I kept seeing over and over when I was researching online articles for this one; the depressingly high level of comments from young gay guys to the effect of "I hate the whiny queeny faggots who act weird, normal gay guys are okay and me and my friends hate and make fun of the girlish ones" really bothers me. First it faults someone for being queenish, which is a pretty stupid thing to take offense with. Second it marginalizes a segment of our community who doesn't fit in simply for the *sake* of fitting in-- throwing anyone a bit limp-wristed under the bus so we can gain acceptance with the straight people who think we're just like them has and always will bother me. More often than not people assume I'm straight, but I think the ostracism to those who have a harder time passing comes from the same lack of self-examination that I pointed out above. Look at any of the popular dating websites and you'll see a shit-ton of "str8-acting only, masculine guys only, I like men who are men and not women" comments which makes my rage meter tick over. It also makes me wonder if we deserve equality in the first place, if we're just going to turn around and poke fingers at people who flame more than we do, the way that straight people have done to us. Not forgetting the fact that it was a bunch of flaming drag queens beating riot police officers at Stonewall in the 70s that elevated us to a place where we can have this philosophical discussion in the first place.
While bigotry against effeminate gays certainly is as bad as plain homophobia, I think the problem for many is that that type of gay person has been put forth so much up till now, that it is repsonsible for many straight people still seeing all gays as being that way.
Many of us just want a chance to have straight people realise that there are other kinds of gays as well.
Of course there is an element of preference as well. If someone in a dating profile asks for masculine men, you can hardly blame them. It's the same as having a preference in race or build or whatever.
Of course like I said, plain hatred is untolerable.
I have to say though that the most biting bigotry I've seen on the net and even in the media (Brothers & Sisters for example) is from these effeminate gays calling the masculine gays (I find straight-acting to be hugely offensive) self-hating or in denial or whatever.
Everybody is diferent. And just because a gay person doesn't act in an effeminate way doesn't mean they hate themselves or are betraying a part of themselves.
There are just a lot of diferent kinds of people, even within the greater category of gay people. And they should all be treated with respect.
Everyone is different, which is why I don't understand how that only goes one way, towards gay people who "match" the way straight people "supposedly" act-- and lord knows I've seen some effeminate straight men in my life-- and how there's so much vitriol from gay guys towards the ones who are campy.
I do think there's an element of self-dislike in there. When a gay guy makes such a big deal out of "gay people are just like straight people and it's only these queens who mess it up" then I don't see any other way to look at that than "Wow, being gay is something that bothers you so much, you can only feel better about it by tearing down someone who doesn't act the same way you do."
For the people who act this way, I think this self-issue is reflected both in how they approach other gay people, and how they negatively react to the possibility of anything "gay" in their video games.
@mixvio:
I think we agree more than I originally thought and I hope that I can explain my side/life experiences better to give you some idea of what I mean and where I'm coming from. I would like to continue this discussion but a more intelligent post from me will have to wait until tomorrow. I'm on my third glass of wine and I just don't think I'll be able to keep track of and say everything that I want to.
Woohoo wine! \o/
Great commentary, mixvio! Like you said - and like others on this great site have said before - this most certainly is an issue of visibility. As such, I think all of us gay gamers - well, at least those of us who care to be seen as such - need to remember the statement that so many of our gay (and bi and trans) brothers and sisters have shouted from the rooftops: "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!"
This isn't an attack against anybody here, but it kind of irks me that people see the Mass Effect lesbian thing as being marketed just for straight guys to enjoy. As a lesbian gamer, I think that's a really neat addition, and while it would have been better if they had included a gay guy love scene to balance things out, I also have to take what I can get. It's a good representation of my sexuality in a game instead of most fictional lesbianism where "they were just experimenting" or "they'll grow out of it" or "they just need a guy to set them straight and oh look here's one now" happens all the time. I've never seen girls rant and rave that gay men just need to have the right girl to fix them, in real life or in media. Probably because society and media like gaming is so male dominated they of course have to be able to have access to all us women and it pisses them off if we dare to date another one of our own, but I won't get into that here. Anyways, ME seemed like a really neat looking game to me for the longest time, and while I still haven't played it, I have read enough about the lesbian scene in it to the point where I can say it is very positive and it does make me a tad more interested in playing it eventually.
@Nexus:
I just started playing Valkyria Chronicles myself lately and I believe the way they portray gays is absolutely fantastic. The gay male lancer is great on the battlefield and the lesbian engineer, Dallas, is one of the best characters I've seen in ages. Absolutely adorable and has great abilities. I refuse to kick either off my team. Their bios in the Personnel pages are written very positively and treat them like normal people, like they should be. Besides, the fact that they're on the goodguys' side AND the fact that they're allowed in the military so openly is extremely progressive. If only real our real military worked that way.
I heard that a manga adaptation of the game featured a gay male couple in it (or was going to), though I can't confirm that myself.
I loved Mass Effect, but really I didn't feel either of the romance subplots were done that well, whether you went with the straight option or the lesbian one. I really didn't feel like it was the strongest part of the story and whichever route you went seemed a bit weird to me. I never played a female character, but as a male one I got to choose between an always defensive, overly hostile "bitch" or an alien that out of nowhere suddenly decided she had the hots for my character. I don't know if Kaiden opened up as a choice if you had a female character or if you got the same two to pick from that male ones did, but I doubt it improved the dialog any.
That said, while I don't have any access to demographics here, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's a fair guess that there are more straight guys who'd be into a female/female sex scene than there are gay women who would be playing Mass Effect. I do understand what you're saying though and it would probably irk me as well if I was a lesbian, but at the same time lesbian sexuality for most straight guys is at the horny teenager or frat boy stage where 'THIS IS AWESOME!!' is the only thought that comes to mind for, lamely, many of them. Girls usually don't get into the idea of two guys having sex the way men fantasize about two women.
Personal anecdote, but I have had women imply that all I needed to be "fixed" was a good time with a girl, so it's not just straight dudes with that boneheaded opinion. :P
I'm what you would typically call 'straight-acting' ... though I hate that term, as some of stated, because of the implied 'acting' bit, rather than just being myself.
I would love to see more gay characters in games though. I'm not against effeminate gay characters in games, so long as they are treated with respect and not something to be poked fun at... but I think its always necessary to show the other side as well and have some masculine gay characters... especially the latter I feel as I can't personally think of a single example of a masculine gay character in a video game (possibly fable 2, though I've not played it)
I think we do need to change the perception that all gays are flaming... not because being effeminate is a problem, its not, but just because people need to be educated that everyone is different.
You mention that you are always having to come out to everyone, because people assume you're straight. Me too, though I have the added problem of having to explain afterwards when I get the response "You can't be gay... you're so "Normal" ... "
This isn't a problem with gay culture... its a problem with straight culture.
Gay characters in video games shouldn't be there simply to cater to gay men or women, they should be there to educate straight society as well. The effeminate lesbian, and the masculine gay male are therefore I feel necessary characters to have... perhaps even more so than the stereotyped butch lesbian and flaming gay guy, to a point.
and of course... it should always be relevant to the story.
1 particular game I remember is Shadow Hearts: Covenant. There's a pair of very effeminate twin tailors that make dresses that change the abilities of one of the characters. In order to unlock new dresses, you have to collect cards from all over the world that have pictures of naked men on and trade them with the tailors. As much as I love this game (and to be honest the pictures on the cards were pretty hot sometimes) I feel the entire concept was very uncalled for. It wasn't particularly plot relevent, and they were only there as comic relief...
"You mention that you are always having to come out to everyone, because people assume you're straight. Me too, though I have the added problem of having to explain afterwards when I get the response "You can't be gay... you're so "Normal" ... "
This isn't a problem with gay culture... its a problem with straight culture."
--
Yeah, it might be something that originates because of straight perception, but it's recycled and perpetuated in the gay community too, especially when a large segment of it idolizes being just like straight people aside from the, you know, pole-smoking.
I don't want to be just like straight people, I want to be just like myself, how I am, however that appears to others. And I want other gay men and women to be the same, whether that means some love going to gay clubs and dancing to Cher or putting up sheetrock. When straight people are pressuring us all to fit in and be "normal" it's upsetting for me to see that turned around and reflected back internally amongst ourselves as well.
But not all of us idolise straight people or try to fit in with them.
Many of us masculine gays are just being ourselves.
What is being asked of us from a large part of the gay community is to act diferent than we are, because they consider it to be an inherently straight way of behaving when it's not. Both gay and straight people need to lighten up and let people be themselves without telling them what that should be.
Icayrus, You are not being a self-loathing homosexual, you are simply displaying prejudic against men that you think are acting like women. I suggest you think about what that says about your attitudes towards either.
@Patrick:
I'm not sure anything that I have said projects a prejudice/attitude against men that are more effeminate or women in general. I'm not sure where you're coming from with that statement. Is it because I mentioned that I don't understand the pressure from the gay community to conform to the standards that they have set, which is something that I said I would come back and talk about today? In nothing that I have said here did I ever say that I had a problem with any gay man or how they act, I did say that I had a problem with how gay people are portrayed sometimes in video games but I did not mention any real life examples. I would be willing to have a discussion with you about this if you can point out what you are referring to in what I have said so far.
@mixvio:
I'm back, like I said I would be, the wine was indeed yummy last night. I'm not going to quote everything that you said up above, otherwise I'm afraid we'll continue to stretch out the page back and forth between ourselves. I'm glad that we can have this discussion and, while my points may have veered it off of the original discussion of the media coverage from the other sites, I still think it's a valuable discussion and I appreciate your willingness to have a civil discussion about it all.
To start off, I would like to give you a little back-story of my life. I'm a 30 year old gay male who was born and raised in the Midwest, lived in NYC for 5 amazing years and then relocated back to the Midwest to not spend 70% of my paycheck on rent :-) I started my coming out process, to my friends, 11 years ago this week. I mention this because it will be 11 years ago Monday that Matthew Shepard passed. His brutal death had a major impact on my coming out experience. As I continued to meet other young people in my area that were LGBT, I became apart of a youth group for LGBT young adults. This was a great group for the small community I lived in, except there was a lot of pressure to act a particular way, like particular clothes/movies/music/people, etc. etc. Being 19 and just coming out, I was still trying to figure out who I was as a person and tried on many varieties of hats until I started to feel comfortable in the knowledge of who I am. Now, I'm certainly not the most masculine man, nor am I the most effeminate either, I am who I am and I'm happy with who I am.
Now, through the many years it's been since I first came out, I've had the privilege to interact with several different types of people in the LGBT community. I understand that are community runs from the most effeminate gay guy to the butchest (sp? correct word here?) of women and everything in between. My problem with some members of the community, though, comes from the fact that they don't see/want/appreciate that there are many shades of gray in the LGBT community. I have been put down/ostracized/called names from people within the gay community because I don't "act gay enough" or like to go shopping or like random sex or a plethora of other things. I certainly felt the pressure, especially when I was first coming out, that I needed to act a particular way in order to be accepted in the gay community. Now, I act like who I am and who I want to be and I don't let others try to force me to behave a particular way. And, I don't look down upon people for the way that they act, I understand that some people are very flamboyant naturally, and that's just who they are or that they love sports and the outdoors and that's just who they are. My problem in all of this, and I think that you share some of that, is the "acting" part. I feel like there can be a lot of acting that occurs in the gay community, whether it's "straight-acting" or being way over-the-top when that's not really how a person is. Are there people who are like that naturally, sure, but I also feel like there are a lot of false facades thrown around. And then, attacks from both sides within the community, one side not liking how the other behaves, which just seems stupid and pointless to me.
And so, this long back-story and explanation comes back where I had issue with your article, which, after reading your comments, I don't think I really do. I agree exactly with what you said in your comment "Now, however (coming back to my point), if you're one of the gay men that the very idea of more gay people in a game at all makes you twitch and complain and mash out comments like I pointed out above, then I do think it's time to reflect on why seeing more gay people makes you have that visceral reaction.". I'm happy to have, and would appreciate more positive representations of LGBT people in video games. I think it can be a good experience for everyone involved and see no problem with it. My big problems comes in when the representations are not so positive, and the example you gave of Makoto sounds exactly like one I would have a problem with based upon your description, since I have never played the game.
I think, at least from my point of view, that we agree a lot more than I thought we did after some clarification. I agree that it is a huge problem in the LGBT of throwing stones amongst ourselves because of differences. It's almost like we spend our entire lives entrenched in the straight world that surrounds us and that tends to shun oddity and then, once we finally accept who we are and become a part of the "gay community", we begin the cycle all over again.
Icayrus, thanks a lot for sharing your perspective. I do think we mostly agree with one another, though I did want to reply to this part:
I agree that this is unacceptable, whether you're being pressured by some to be "more gay" or "less gay." But in my experience it certainly seems to be more socially acceptable to pick on gay men who are too effeminate or lesbians who are too butch, because somehow they make the rest of us "look" bad. I know that the opposite happens too, and when it's directed at you it sucks, but personally I've seen a lot less "oh be gayer, you're ruining things for us" than I have seen gay men calling queens faggots and telling them off.
People need to be allowed to express themselves as they are without being forced into archetypes someone else wants them to represent.
sorry, I've missed a lot of the conversation so far, but I wanted to put in my two cents in a hurry:
when it comes to the "straight-acting" bit I've been guilty in a way, but only because I originally put effort into being more stereotypical to fit in. I always liked guys and it never affected anything, I even like girls some. but when I was just hitting puberty I remember noticing that in this world if you like guys you are labelled 'gay.' and when you are gay you are campy. that was the conclusion I got from the gay shows more than anywhere else. Queer As Folk and Will & Grace are fine for the flamboyant, but what about me? I didn't really ask myself that until I was 17/18 and I realized I was trying to be campy to fit in. I thought I had to have these qualities to fit in and find a guy and be happy in that area of my life. all the other gay characters in video games, TV, and movies who weren't being HELLO SAILOR about it were closeted, predatory, or troubled. they died, they had AIDS, they were the stars of the after school specials I didn't want to be in. so you ACT straight, meaning there's a default where liking men means you love showtunes and Madonna and the colour pink and all the juicy celeb gossip. everything is a lifestyle choice and daily living should involve being a passive GLBT activist, being loud and proud, when really I want to sit at home, listen to some AC/DC, and play some Halo.
when I first heard about this site though (on TIGSource forums, with someone declaring they didn't MEAN to be here, it was a google, they swear!) I was a bit apprehensive because I thought along the lines of the poster mentioned in the OP. I was thinking about why it matters to be a gay gamer (in terms of blogging), but it's not really about being a gamer who's gay and having people know it, but having the representation that this blog gives. I can come here and read about gay anything, and not have it be all "not that there's anything wrong with that!" and I was glad it wasn't all about hot men and saucy quips. you people actually know what an Xbox is AND how to play. wild!
and I know I may be unpopular for this, but I screamed 'fag' at people sometimes, playing a game with friends. mostly because within 15 minutes of Smash Bros. I've heard enough verbal gay bashing to last me a year and it rubs off. over the years I guess I've disassociated the word from gay people though. I have a hard time ascribing moral absolutism to it since we gay people use it in the same general way black people use the n-word. it's alright in-team, but not when used by "outsiders." but that seems a bit... exclusive? I think it needs to be co-opted, not phased out. it won't be phased out anyways. anti-slur campaigns only fuel the flames.
plus, my friends (all straight) have expressed they don't care about my man-like. so I don't see them using the word as an affront to my sexuality. it stings when strangers say it, but I'm used to it, for better or worse.
I can see why a straight person would never care one bit about gay gamers, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't get representation. that's a different deal. I don't ask for it in every game, but every so often a memorable gay protagonist would be nice, yknow? he could be a morbidly obese pizza delivery man with a heart of gold, I don't care. just show us, and find a way of doing it without it being stressed and awkward. it feels patronizing. Indigo Prophecy, Bioshock and other great games slip it in without spotlighting it.