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Xbox LIve Updates Its Code Of Conduct To Include Sexual Orientation And More

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Caloo Callay, a joyous day is upon us! Today, Xbox Live's General Manager, Mark Whitten, released a statement announcing that the Xbox Live Code of Conduct policy has changed. As of today, references to sexual orientation, race, religion and nationality will be allowed in Gamertags and profiles! You can read the Code of Contact here, and it specifically states that Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transgender and Straight are all now acceptable terms. Here is a short bit from Whitten's letter:

Under our previous policy, some of these expressions of self-identification were not allowed in Gamertags or profiles to prevent the use of these terms as insults or slurs. However we have since heard feedback from our customers that while the spirit of this approach was genuine, it inadvertently excluded a part of our Xbox LIVE community. This update also comes hand-in-hand with increased stringency and enforcement to prevent the misuse of these terms.

This is just fantastic news and news that is a long time coming. This is something we have been fighting for here on GayGamer for a long time and it's gives us a wonderful feeling to finally see it come to fruition.

Congratulations to Microsoft and Xbox Live for stepping up to the plate and listening to the concerns of an important and oft overlooked section of the gaming community. Bravo!

You can read the entirety of Mark Whitten's announcement letter after the jump.

[Thanks to Scottie for sending this in!]

Dear Xbox LIVE members,

Since the beginning, Microsoft has made an investment in the security and safety of Xbox LIVE and created tools and monitoring practices to ensure it is a fun and welcoming entertainment experience for people of all races, nationalities, religions and sexual orientations. And thanks to this investment and the enthusiasm of community members like you, we're proud to be the strongest and most diverse online community of its kind at 23 million.

The Xbox LIVE Terms of Use and Code of Conduct are designed to create a place where people can safely enjoy all of the ways to interact on our service, be it online multiplayer gaming, photo sharing, Netflix parties, or social games such as 1 vs 100, without fear of discrimination or harassment. As the service evolves and our customers provide us with feedback, these rules evolve to incorporate new features or changes in how people wish to interact.

With that in mind, I'd like to announce an update to the Xbox LIVE Terms of Use and Code of Conduct which will allow our members to more freely express their race, nationality, religion and sexual orientation in Gamertags and profiles. Under our previous policy, some of these expressions of self-identification were not allowed in Gamertags or profiles to prevent the use of these terms as insults or slurs. However we have since heard feedback from our customers that while the spirit of this approach was genuine, it inadvertently excluded a part of our Xbox LIVE community. This update also comes hand-in-hand with increased stringency and enforcement to prevent the misuse of these terms.

I truly believe that our diversity is what makes us strong: diversity in gaming and entertainment options, and diversity in the people that make up this amazing community. I look forward to seeing you on LIVE soon.

Jump in,

Marc Whitten
Gamertag - Notwen
www.twitter.com/notwen

47 Comments

joe said:

Seems pretty pointless. Not everyone is interested or even cares if you like (blank) in your (blank). This will only cause more people having to feel persecuted because of what they like, and this time it IS their fault.

TheFilmTwit said:

Hells yes!

Mateus said:

I think its great. Its just freedon, its obviously right.

Limeade said:

I think the ruling is great news. This isn't harming anyone, and it is completely up to the individual if they feel the need to mention their sexual orientation in their gamertag/profile.

A win-win situation, IMO.

Icehearted said:

The difference between doing what's right and doing what's good are stark. I see this as the former, the latter would have been not to kill accounts because people posted their orientation in the first place. This is MS's way of throwing a bone to get possible bad press and avert legal headaches, and is no more a concession than it is self-preservation.

At least they are willing to give LGBT communities a break, but the fact that they duced on their rights to begin with says a lot about the kinds of people running things at MS.

Mad Mage said:

So many "this seems kinda pointless" comments in the kotaku comment (I have no idea why I read them).

What was pointless was banning the names in the first place. No longer equating gay user names with obscenities? Doesn't seem pointless to me.

Hewligan said:

I'll be updating my profile when I get home.

theXyronDilemma said:

@ Mad Mage

Yeah...I made the mistake of reading those kotaku comments too. I'd say the majority of those who commented automatically assume that people who put their sexual orientation in their profile/gamertag do so only to hook up with other people. It's not always about sex.

SZK said:

This policy change is long overdue; it should have been like this from the start.

Ry-Guy said:

I'm going to agree with Joe on this one.

I honestly don't understand why this is such BIG news. Having your sexual orientation and the like displayed for the world to see causes more headache than it's worth. I personally think it was a GOOD thing that people couldn't advertise that they were gay in their user name, because it saved people a lot of grief. I would almost be willing to bet that complaints in regards to being targeted by hate-mongers goes up in the months -- hell, in the weeks following this change.

I'm a gay gamer, and I have no shame in that regard. But planting a great big rainbow flag of victory because you can advertise that information in a community filled by juvenile morons? Seems pretty stupid to me.

I don't say this to be offensive, and if advertising such things is something you personally wish to do, I'm all for that. I'm just NOT all for the bitching that accompanies it.

/twocents

Enrique said:

In the movement for equality visibility is important. How else are "morons" going to learn that their gaming world is not so "hetero"?

BINARYGOD said:

Sorry Joe and Ry-Guy - but without visibility, we get nowhere...

Maybe if eveyone that was gay had a sign hovering over their head that said so out in the real wordl, the straight people of the world would understand that most don't fit some strange stereotype in their head.

"oh, HE is gay? hmmm" The more they see gay people in all facets of life and how diverse we are, the more easily we can be accepted and gain equal rights.

Visibility brings more hate, but it ultimately brings more acceptance - or does being called a fag on XBL by a few while making a few others think twice not worth it to you? I am pretty sure you will be called a fag on XBL anyway...


You guys are a part of the problem, just like lots of other gay people. Or straight people... "Why does broadcasting your sexuality matter?" Are you for real? REALLY? Get a clue...

The_french_guy said:

Next step, Microsoft rules and agreements regarding the F word. You know which one.

Anyhow, Victory!

BINARYGOD said:

joe said: "Seems pretty pointless. Not everyone is interested or even cares if you like (blank) in your (blank)."

you must be straight - this falls along the lines of "i don't care that your gay, I just wish you would shut up about it"...

Please name me the one group in history who received equal rights and a safe place in society by shutting up and sitting at the back of the bus?

NaviFairy said:

If anything, I think that Microsoft's decision to allow people to post this on their profile shows that they have come a long way in their community monitoring tools. They've always had the "report" option on Xbox Live for if people use offensive language in a game, but opening this up to profiles says, to me at least, that they feel confident that they can deal with the increased number of complaints that will result from people being able to freely express their sexual orientation. As Ry-Guy said, there will be a lot of people who will try and harass people who post gay, lesbian, bi, or transgender in their profile. But if Microsoft actually has the means and resources to deal with the increased reports, then it won't be an issue for very long and the Xbox Live community will become better for it in the end.

For me personally, I'm just glad that I can finally include the name of the website that I write for on my Xbox Live profile.

Ry-Guy said:

@BINARYGOD

I'm glad I'm part of the problem then, I guess. I didn't say this as an attack on people, so snarky remarks for my opinion aren't entirely neccessary. I just don't find it worth it to broadcast who I am.

You want to say that visibility will disspell stereotypes. "Oh, THAT guy is gay?" So by the same token, not being out there and broadcasting my sex life to the world would not fit the stereotype, thus evoking a, "Oh, THAT guy is gay?" response as well. So what's the difference, honestly? I personally feel more accepted by NOT broadcasting who I am. I have met many people on Live who didn't know I was gay, and after we'd played a few games and they got to know me and I brought up the subject of my boyfriend playing similar games, there was initial shock, and then acceptance.

And I'm sorry, but the, "I believe in making myself known, so I'm BETTER than you because you're obviously closeted and an insult to the gay community," state of mind just makes me that much more depressed that stuff like this is such a big deal.

I said it once, I'll say it again. My opinions were not meant to be offensive in any capacity. I admire people with the guts to be who they are without a second thought as to what people think about them. However, I just don't feel that throwing who I am in people's faces when they aren't READY to accept it is neccessary.

But that's the last I have to say on this matter. I really don't feel like going through another debate like I did the last time I made my opinions known about this issues (The xxxGayBoixxx (Or whatever it was..) gamertag debacle).

Dusty Greeb said:

Hooray! Congrats GayGamer, you guys worked hard to make this happen!

Its really great that XBox Live also gave very clear guidelines as to what is allowed and what is not. This is a step forward :D

Decompiled said:

Good news, but this still doesn't cleanup the loose homophobia on Live.

Burr said:

Personally I find this a good thing mostly on a free speech rationale. I probably won't be changing my profile, but more power to those who do, and hopefully they meet more cool people as a result. Plus as NaviFairy points out, this has far more practical implications such as advertising the site.

To be out, blatant, about sexuality, gender status, or other such issues in a gaming environment is a complex act.

It is political activism, yes, but it also permits people of like kind to find each other and select each other as preferred playmates. It's sometimes the only way to create a safe playground.

Being able to choose to be out also serves the need of personal expression; it is stifling to know that one is authoritatively prevented from displaying one's status honestly; it is vastly freeing, and welcoming, to know the option is there - even if it is never, ever actually used.

This benefits people in vast measure, whether they use it or not. It is a large YES -regardless of Microsoft's reasons - in a world of oppressive NO.

It might make the gaming community wake up to the diversity among them, yes, and it will make minorities able to create safe playgroups, but above all it provides a freedom, whether used or not, to be honest about one's self, and removes a constant background understanding that 'you are not really welcome here', which the prohibition on self expression broadcast to all.

That, I think, sums the value of this change of policy, these three aspects (and likely, more), and shows, I hope, some reason why this change is important, and useful.

BINARYGOD said:

@RY-GUY

Your back peddling from your original statement… I am not so easily appeased.

“I'm glad I'm part of the problem then, I guess. I didn't say this as an attack on people, so snarky remarks for my opinion aren't entirely necessary. I just don't find it worth it to broadcast who I am.”

Worth it? Broadcast? I need you to better define what you mean by that – does me being “straight acting” but mentioned I am gay on Facebook mean I am broadcasting it? Does a person who is “obviously gay” broadcast it? The guys I date tend to not be obvious (not into that, personally), but if I hold his hand in the movie theater or when we walk around town in some places, is that broadcasting it? We deserve to be gay bashed?

“You want to say that visibility will dispel stereotypes. "Oh, THAT guy is gay?" So by the same token, not being out there and broadcasting my sex life to the world would not fit the stereotype, thus evoking a, "Oh, THAT guy is gay?" response as well. So what's the difference, honestly?"

Accept if you stay invisible, how do they know your gay and how do they arrive at the same conclusion? You think Anderson Cooper coming out of closet now while he has a popular show, assuming he is gay, is worse than if he waits till he isn’t relevant anymore, like what Rock Hudson did? Anyway, I like how you try to claim that the opposite of what works will also work.
You didn’t answer my question – I can list historic evidence till the day we die about how non visibility has helped no one – can you show me otherwise? When have any people received equal rights and social acceptance for sitting down and shutting ?
Also, you seem to frame sexuality as being all about your sex life. I thought it also had to do with who you loved… Also, telling someone I am gay doesn’t broadcast the details of my sex life – if I wear a shirt that says “I love Italian cock up my ass every Friday” – then maybe…

“I personally feel more accepted by NOT broadcasting who I am. I have met many people on Live who didn't know I was gay, and after we'd played a few games and they got to know me and I brought up the subject of my boyfriend playing similar games, there was initial shock, and then acceptance.”

You feel more acceptance when you dont tell people? Love the logic there...

Anyway, when you DO - How is this not a form of broadcasting it? Plenty of the ignorant XBL users would not have a positive reaction after you mentioned it at any point… To many of them, doing that is considered “sneaky”. From my own experience with this, yes, I have had some people come across like they don’t care, but I have plenty more react less positively – “why are you telling me you are gay, I didn’t tell you I was straight – who care?” Of course, they just mentioned how female character A is hot, and I reply that male character B is – I surely must have done something wrong. You would appear to agree with these people.

“And I'm sorry, but the, "I believe in making myself known, so I'm BETTER than you because you're obviously closeted and an insult to the gay community," state of mind just makes me that much more depressed that stuff like this is such a big deal.”

We don’t have equal rights, and people by and large still think “fag” and “faggot” and “that’s gay” is ok to say, people get gay bashed and people don’t really care. You want people to hide who you are because you feel it’s safer and easier that way, then I think I should look down on you for that in the same way that many black people not to long ago didn’t approve of other black people happily ‘moving to back the of the bus’, so to speak.
And yes, after a certain point in your life, if your STILL closeted – that’s just pathetic.
Again, if you don’t want to broadcast it, I may dislike that, but your free to not do it – your opening comment basically attacked anyone who would want to be open about it and you claim whatever persecution they get is then their own fault. Why should I accept your silence when it gets us nowhere and when you won’t accept my noise?

“I said it once, I'll say it again. My opinions were not meant to be offensive in any capacity. I admire people with the guts to be who they are without a second thought as to what people think about them. However, I just don't feel that throwing who I am in people's faces when they aren't READY to accept it is necessary.”

Not meant to be offensive? Your first comment, again, blames anyone “broadcasting” for the any persecution they face. Never mind the homophobic asshole doing the persecution… I guess I am sick of the idea that I have to cross over to their side and see some sort of understanding for their hate, but I should never expect them to open their minds.
Does being a second class citizen in this country bother you at all? Do all the gay bashing’s (that hardly make the news, actually) bother you at all? Does the fact that gay teenagers are WAY more likely to commit suicide not REALLY bother you? It’s a lack of exposure that fuels all of this…
Also, you seem to believe in this mythically idea that one day everyone will eventually just come around on their own – I don’t know where this idea came from, but many people in this county WILL NEVER be ready, at least not on their own, some will just never be ready… have fun waiting around while some of us want to do something about it.

BINARYGOD said:

@Jennifer Diane Reitz

Thank you for saying it all in a way I guess I couldn't...

I am no diplomat, I am the fighter...

Mitchell said:

Congratulations to Xbox Live and gaygamer. GLad for you guys Microsoft followed through

Triggerheart said:

Naw, i think i'll pass on the option, not so eager to be threatend and teased every time i play a game over xboxlive. Good luck to everyone who's taking advantage of the update ^^

Drakey said:

Just changed my motto to 'Proudly GAY on XBL!' Ive been waiting this day since I signed up!

Had a couple rounds with people on XBL before over this subject, and now the rules have evolved, just as people will too! YAY!

Ry-Guy said:

@BINARYGOD

Oiy. Alright. Let me address your points.

"Worth it? Broadcast? I need you to better define what you mean by that – does me being “straight acting” but mentioned I am gay on Facebook mean I am broadcasting it? Does a person who is “obviously gay” broadcast it? The guys I date tend to not be obvious (not into that, personally), but if I hold his hand in the movie theater or when we walk around town in some places, is that broadcasting it? We deserve to be gay bashed?"

Mentioning you're gay on Facebook is not broadcasting it. I see nothing wrong with listing your sexual orientation in such places. Hell, I'm listed as being gay on Facebook & MySpace. People who are 'obviously gay' tend to be that way because they WANT to act that way. Yes, some people are naturally feminine, but some people throw it in people's faces by flaming just as hard as they can. Walking around holding another man's hand (Or woman's, for all the lady-lovin' ladies out there) IS broadcasting it. Do I think you should be able to? Sure. But will people bash you for it? Yep.

"Accept if you stay invisible, how do they know your gay and how do they arrive at the same conclusion? You think Anderson Cooper coming out of closet now while he has a popular show, assuming he is gay, is worse than if he waits till he isn’t relevant anymore, like what Rock Hudson did? Anyway, I like how you try to claim that the opposite of what works will also work.
You didn’t answer my question – I can list historic evidence till the day we die about how non visibility has helped no one – can you show me otherwise? When have any people received equal rights and social acceptance for sitting down and shutting ?
Also, you seem to frame sexuality as being all about your sex life. I thought it also had to do with who you loved… Also, telling someone I am gay doesn’t broadcast the details of my sex life – if I wear a shirt that says “I love Italian cock up my ass every Friday” – then maybe…"

If I stay invisible, so to speak, they WON'T know I'm gay. That's my problem with a lot of the gay community; they feel that people NEED to know that they're gay. Being a 'mo is but a tiny facet of this amazing thing I call life. I consider it a trivial piece of information in the grand scheme of things. Being gay first and a person second is a concept I simply cannot wrap my mind around. I am a human being, an aspiring pianist, a lover of helping people, oh, and I'm gay. ::Shrug::

As for the Anderson Cooper scenario, I have no opinion. If he's gay, and he wants to come out, go ahead. If he doesn't, don't.

I don't have any 'evidence' about how shutting up has helped people achieve equal rights. I do have experience, though. I have quite a number of friends who are homophobic, yet they accept me and treat me like family. Why? Because I'm a person, again, who HAPPENS to be gay.

Sexuality IS about more than sex....in other parts of the world. I hate to break it to you, but in the US, sexuality is primarily about sex. It doesn't matter that I'm in love with a guy. People don't see the 'love' part. They see the part about me being gay, and instantly jump to man-on-man buttsekz aspect. That's how it goes, unfortunately.

"You feel more acceptance when you dont tell people? Love the logic there...

Anyway, when you DO - How is this not a form of broadcasting it? Plenty of the ignorant XBL users would not have a positive reaction after you mentioned it at any point… To many of them, doing that is considered “sneaky”. From my own experience with this, yes, I have had some people come across like they don’t care, but I have plenty more react less positively – “why are you telling me you are gay, I didn’t tell you I was straight – who care?” Of course, they just mentioned how female character A is hot, and I reply that male character B is – I surely must have done something wrong. You would appear to agree with these people."

Now if you want be snarky, go right ahead. But I didn't say I feel more accepted when I don't tell people. Well, I did, but I followed it with elaboration that I wait until people have started to accept me for me, and then I make it known about myself. So you can try and zero in on one sentence without taking into account the rest of the statement, but it doesn't do much for your argument.

And I don't outright say, "I'm gay," unless asked directly. But, in the scenario you described, I don't say anything about finding someone else attractive. As stated before, my scenarios typically end up with me talking about my boyfriend in one way or another. And yes, I've had a couple negative reactions, but it wasn't because I was being 'sneaky.' It was because those people were assholes. More oft than not, however, people react favourably because I simply talk about the subject without making it out to be a big deal.

As for agreeing with people that you're doing something wrong by saying a male character is hot, there's nothing WRONG with it, but it is something that doesn't really need to be said, one way or the other. I don't find it neccessary for straight men to talk about how hot they think a woman is, by the same token. Sorry, but talking about that kind of stuff amongst strangers is just something I don't really do because I don't care to hear about who they want to bang, just like they don't want to hear about who I want to bang.

"We don’t have equal rights, and people by and large still think “fag” and “faggot” and “that’s gay” is ok to say, people get gay bashed and people don’t really care. You want people to hide who you are because you feel it’s safer and easier that way, then I think I should look down on you for that in the same way that many black people not to long ago didn’t approve of other black people happily ‘moving to back the of the bus’, so to speak.
And yes, after a certain point in your life, if your STILL closeted – that’s just pathetic.
Again, if you don’t want to broadcast it, I may dislike that, but your free to not do it – your opening comment basically attacked anyone who would want to be open about it and you claim whatever persecution they get is then their own fault. Why should I accept your silence when it gets us nowhere and when you won’t accept my noise?"

"Faggot," and any of its derivatives, as well as, "That's gay," ARE okay to say because this is a land of free speech. Do I appreciate it? No. But it is a right they have. But by and large, the negative names used against gays are primarily used against those who -- that's right, folks -- broadcast it. Hell, I can spot the difference between a gay guy and a fag.

You want to talk about acceptance, yet you're willing to condemn me because I don't share the same viewpoint you do. You, sir, are a winner. I already stated before that people who want to be who they are, go right ahead, I don't hold anything against them. I just don't think it's helping to be obnoxiously out there about being gay. The ONLY people I look down on are people who give others a reason to stereotype others, be it gays, minorities, any subsets of people.

It's absolute horse shit for you to be that judgemental of people while, in the same breath, you're getting yourself in a tizzy over me having an opinion that you find to be judgemental. If people want to remain closeted for their entire lives, let them. Some people don't want to deal with the struggle, and are much happier not being who they are deep down because it would cause them too much grief. So to call others pathetic because they choose to remain closeted is TRULY pathetic, and over-all ridiculous.

You and I must be reading something different, because my opening comment was nowhere NEAR being an attack on people. My opening comment stated that I feel Microsoft was doing gay gamers a favor by not allowing them to broadcast information that would have others target them and make them feel worse than some of them already DO about being gay. If you want to try and throw barbs, be sure you know what you're talking about.

As for the persecution they receive being their own fault, yes, at that point, it is. If you choose to go so far as advertise your sexuality, it is, to an extent, their own fault. Again, by no means do they DESERVE such treatment, but if you're going to out yourself, you'd best be ready to deal with what comes along with it. It's the same thing with any community. Take, for example, furries. A lot of people don't understand the whole concept of furries, and a lot of people are judgemental in that regard. Therefore, if someone wants to advertise that they're into that, they had better be ready to deal with the criticism.

As for accepting my silence, I never asked you to. I couldn't care less one way or the other, personally. I don't care if you accept me, the same way you SHOULDN'T care if I accept you. You're free to feel how you feel, as am I. But when you start making snide comments about someone else's views, not all of them will stand by in silence while you try and belittle them.

"Not meant to be offensive? Your first comment, again, blames anyone “broadcasting” for the any persecution they face. Never mind the homophobic asshole doing the persecution… I guess I am sick of the idea that I have to cross over to their side and see some sort of understanding for their hate, but I should never expect them to open their minds.
Does being a second class citizen in this country bother you at all? Do all the gay bashing’s (that hardly make the news, actually) bother you at all? Does the fact that gay teenagers are WAY more likely to commit suicide not REALLY bother you? It’s a lack of exposure that fuels all of this…
Also, you seem to believe in this mythically idea that one day everyone will eventually just come around on their own – I don’t know where this idea came from, but many people in this county WILL NEVER be ready, at least not on their own, some will just never be ready… have fun waiting around while some of us want to do something about it."

My first comment, again, simply states that Microsoft was doing us a favor in the long run. I don't need to go over this again.

Being a second class citizen DOES bother me, yes. You have no idea how much I loathe the fact that a country as wonderful as the US is still as backwards as they are on some issues. But I'm not talking about our rights. I'm talking about the way people view us. As long as we continue to throw things in their faces that they aren't ready for, they will continue to hate. Were people, as a whole, ready when women received equal rights? When African Americans received equal rights? No. There were tons of people who weren't. But it isn't the public that dictates what rights we have, it is the government. I believe that we'll receive equal rights across the board one day, but plenty of people will be pissed off, and you can't change that fact.

Of course the gay bashing bothers me. It does bother me that gay teens are more likely to commit suicide, as well. I was one of them. Two serious attempts, if you care to know. But it isn't a lack of exposure at that point. When a gay teenager wants to off themself, it's typically because they are scared of what their friends and family will feel. At least, that has been my experience when talking with other gays and lesbians who went through sever depression during their teenage years.

I love how you are trying to make me out to have ideas that I actually DON'T. Not everyone is going to come around. I live in North Carolina, have for ten years. Have you any clue how often the word "nigger" is slung around down here? A vast ammount of people here still view African Americans in a negative light. Such things have taught me that many people will NEVER come around.

Continue to feel superior if you wish, but I think that some battles are better fought with strategy than with brute force. Broadcasting your sexuality will ultimately draw more attention, but choosing when to fight, I feel, is better than having to fight continuously.

Chosenoneknuckles said:

Can't say I've ever personally seen the need to talk about my love and sex life with other gamers whilst playing, like, a game, but good for you who do, I guess. *shrugs*

jayoshi said:

It's up to everyone to decide what they want and don't want to have known about them on-line. If you don't want everyone to know you are gay or where you live or whatever... then that is perfectly fine! Other people may want to disclose information about themselves and it was wrong of Microsoft to ban people for saying that they are gay in their profile. I really saw it as discrimination. I for one am very happy that Microsoft realized that okay... it was wrong of them.

With all that being said... I never wanted to and never have put down that I'm gay on xbox live (and I still won't). I believe people should be allowed to do so without having the fear of possibly being banned for it.

I'm going to go waaaaaaaay off field here so bare with me. It's almost *almost* like people who would never get gay married and say "I don't see why we need this. I never want to get gay married... so I'm going to vote against it."

I really wish that people would think about others more and little less about only themselves.

Paul said:

I'm with jayoshi -- this may not be a big deal to YOU, but it IS a big deal to many, so congrats.

It's also an issue of fundamental fairness: If straight folks could mention their relationships in their tags (and many, many, many of them do, in spite of what the previous policy stated) then gay folks should be allowed to as well.

Nice to see Microsoft finally catching up to 1995. It'll still be a frosty day in hell before I sign up for Gold, though -- why PAY for homophobic slurs, when so many are freely available on Fox News?

Sarah said:

@Joe So you are blaming gay people for their own persecution because they have the audacity to tell people that they are gay?

@everyone else: This is a wonderful policy change and a coup, however small, for gay rights. I'm not even a gamer, and I'm very excited.

BINARYGOD said:

@Ry-guy

apologies to you, i mixed up you and joe - he was blaming people for their own persecution and that it what set me off...

i shall give your reply to me a full reply once this keybgoard charges as typing like this riht now when its in the charging cradle is giving me carpersal...

ps - you have some odd views of the gay commuunity that border on homophobic - trust me, gay people can be too...

BINARYGOD said:

One more thng though - how the hell can you agree with joe?

Burr said:

By some of the logic being tossed around, black people are constantly in everyone's face by not changing their skin color, and that's why people in North Carolina still hate them?

Okay so that's a straw man.. I do understand the point that maybe those who broadcast shouldn't complain at what they get, but did you ever bother to think that maybe people welcome the challenge? How will we ever progress without challenging some of this prejudice? If our very existence bothers these people so much, then that's entirely their problem and we're going to get them used to it..

Ry-Guy said:

@BINARYGOD

I only agree with Joe because, in all honesty, he speaks the truth. If someone feels the need to be outspoken about who they are, they bring about the bashing. PLEASE do not confuse this with me CONDONING people doing that sort of thing, as it's absolutely horrible that people can say such horrible things. But, like I said in my last post, it's one of those scenarios where, if you speak about it, you're going to draw the wrong types of people. It happens.

If you got the impression that I think people DESERVE to be gay bashed, then I offer my apologies. It was not my intention to come across that way.

And you say I border on homophobic: I do. You certainly aren't the first person to tell me that. It honestly just comes down to me hating people who give others a reason to stereotype the lot of us. I don't mind people being who they are, I just don't like when they have to take it to extremes. So if you think of me as homophobic, I won't fault you; as I said, you aren't the first.

@Burr

I knew someone would try to pull the, "Well Black people are in your face with who they are," thing. African Americans are the colour that they are, and that isn't something you can hide (Unless, of course, you're the late MJ, but I digress.) Being gay is something you CAN keep quiet.

And yes, I know some people welcome the challenge. I don't MIND that. MY problem comes from the people that will inevitably bitch because they're throwing everything out there for the world to see, and they are positively baffled by the negativity that goes along with it.

And that's the kind of attitude I loathe. "It's their problem and we're going to get them used to it." You sound like a fanatical religious zealot. "They don't like that I'm into the Jesus, but I'm gonna get them used to it!" Sorry, but people forcing things on me don't inspire me to be up in arms in defense of their cause.

Just saying.

Burr said:

I don't see how getting people used to the fact that there are Christians out there is religious zealotry, so I don't see anything zealous about simply putting the fact out there that there are a lot of gay people who will persist in existing regardless of anyone's attitudes towards it.

What's zealotry is pushing Christianity onto others (like we see government twisted into doing right now in denying equality to all), or in our case, trying to convince people to be gay like us, not just get used to the concept of gay people.

Doc_Chris said:

@All

For those of you that appreciate Microsoft's new policy and feel it is beneficial for you in some way/shape/form/fashion, I congratulate you.

For those arguing over the grey areas, I do not. Honestly you are all on the losing side of a battle that has already been won. I feel that you are arguing just to argue with each other, and it's essentially moot.

There's no deeper meaning to this policy, as I believe you are all trying to reveal in some way, than this:

For those of you that wish to allow complete strangers surveillance of your sexual orientation/religion/creed, etc., you ARE permitted to display them in a manner of your choosing in your gamertag or profile. For those of you that wish to continue to keep certain information private, you may.

That's it. There's NOTHING else to it. For those of you that choose to reveal the fact that you're gay. You WILL be gay-bashed. It's GOING to happen. To think otherwise is just an exercise in futility as I'm sure you're aware of. It's a hard truth, but a truth nonetheless. If outing yourself in a gamer profile or tag is your way of standing up for yourself as a gay/straight/bi/transgener individual is meaningful to you in some way, then I applaud your new ability to do so freely, truly I do. I just hope that you realize what you're getting into and can accept it.

Example:

You now have EVERY right to make your gamertag something along the line of:

"Loves2MuffDive" or "EnjoysSexyMen"

Are you limited to these? Of course not. They are just a couple of examples. Am I implying that ALL gay/lesbian/transgender, etc., will change their name to something that pertains to sex or sexuality? No, of course not.

BUT. . . When someone messages you something along the line of, and pardon my vulgarity:

"You are a faggot/dyke/freak/homo, etc., and should (Insert random act of hatred) for eternity! God hates you and your kind and you are all a bunch of (More random vulgarity)."

Make sure you realize that you allowed them access to your personal information, and subsequently allowed them to abuse it.

Are you allowed to file a complaint? Yes, of course you are. Yet another one of XBL features.

"(Blank)Mc(Blank) sent me a message calling me (Random insult/vulgar term). I'd like to file a complaint."

Now the tables have turned. You (for those of you that this particular scenario pertains to) find yourself infringing on others' right to freedom of speech.

If one person has the freedom to say they are gay on XBL, then another person has the right to say that they hate gays on XBL. That's how it works, unfortunately. It is truly a vicious cycle.

One of this countries primary focus's was freedom from persecution by religious or tyrannical means. We all know this. But it DOES still happen, unfortunately. XBL is no different. Where there are gays, there are going to be people that hate them. Where there are races, there are going to be racists. Where there are good people, there are bad people. Again, these are hard truths, but truths nonetheless.

Again, I really do apologize for using those words and I hope those of you that may have been offended by them will forgive me for it, but in all honestly. That's probably NOTHING compared to what you'll receive eventually.

Will I personally be one to do it? No, I won't. I believe it's your business and I don't have a say in it, so it's really irrelevant how I feel about your sexuality. That is, however, just me. I can't speak for the rest of the hundreds of thousands of users on XBL.

I'll say again for reiteration purposes.

For those of you that appreciate Microsoft's new policy and feel it is beneficial for you in some way/shape/form/fashion, I congratulate you.

Thank you.

BINARYGOD said:

“Mentioning you're gay on Facebook is not broadcasting it. I see nothing wrong with listing your sexual orientation in such places. Hell, I'm listed as being gay on Facebook & MySpace. People who are 'obviously gay' tend to be that way because they WANT to act that way. Yes, some people are naturally feminine, but some people throw it in people's faces by flaming just as hard as they can. Walking around holding another man's hand (Or woman's, for all the lady-lovin' ladies out there) IS broadcasting it. Do I think you should be able to? Sure. But will people bash you for it? Yep.”

Yes, you do have a very warped sense of the gay community. The vast majority of gay people are not doing it to throw it into anyone’s face, “obvious”/feminine or not. I swear it sounds more like I am talking to a homophobic or ignorant (about the gay community) person than a gay person who truly accepts who they are 100% and is comfortable with it.

You also seem sure I will get bashed for holding my boyfriends hand, funny that has never happened… doesn’t seem to happen to most. And when a bunch of morons beat up a gay couple for holding hands, it isn’t the hand holding that’s the cause or the fault of the gay couple…


“If I stay invisible, so to speak, they WON'T know I'm gay. That's my problem with a lot of the gay community; they feel that people NEED to know that they're gay. Being a 'mo is but a tiny facet of this amazing thing I call life. I consider it a trivial piece of information in the grand scheme of things. Being gay first and a person second is a concept I simply cannot wrap my mind around. I am a human being, an aspiring pianist, a lover of helping people, oh, and I'm gay. ::Shrug:: As for the Anderson Cooper scenario, I have no opinion. If he's gay, and he wants to come out, go ahead. If he doesn't, don't. I don't have any 'evidence' about how shutting up has helped people achieve equal rights. I do have experience, though. I have quite a number of friends who are homophobic, yet they accept me and treat me like family. Why? Because I'm a person, again, who HAPPENS to be gay. Sexuality IS about more than sex....in other parts of the world. I hate to break it to you, but in the US, sexuality is primarily about sex. It doesn't matter that I'm in love with a guy. People don't see the 'love' part. They see the part about me being gay, and instantly jump to man-on-man buttsekz aspect. That's how it goes, unfortunately.”

First of all, anecdotal evidence is not evidence. They obviously don’t REALLY accept you if they are homophobic, and probably only treat you like family because they can ignore that part of who you are because you make it so easy for them to. Congratulations! If the fact that you’re gay is more a concept to them than a hard truth, of course they have no problem with it – they can ignore it. Did you ever dance with your boyfriend or do something with him somewhat romantic like that at a time when everyone else was to? Would you ever bring your boyfriend to a family function as a date and sit near each other and hold hands they way a lot of straight couples do? Ever bring him as a date to a wedding and slow dance with him in front of everyone? Sure sound like YOUR definition of broadcasting it – so I would assume no, however, these are just rhetorical questions…

You hate to break it to me that in the US, but apparently not elsewhere in the world (LOL!), sexuality is mostly about sex? Uh, ok then… That is not really a reply to what I said – I think this is part of the mix up with regards to Joe’s comment; of course, you DID agree with him. Being gay is more than about what you do under the covers, and it’s unfortunate that people focused on that aspect above any other and use it as a reason to be uncomfortable with it. Again, lack of exposure and ignorance rears its ugly head again. Being exposed to more types of gay people and understand that, just like with straight people, being gay or straight has a lot more to do with than just anal fucking or vaginal sex would stop this…

I know how it is, I want it to be different, and so I choose to not accept the way it is. If I do that, then I will never help to instigate change. Then I am not part of the solution, but the problem. I am kind of getting off track here, but I think this puts my “your part of the problem” statement in better context. The fact that your happy to be part of the problem is troubling…

Anderson Cooper, btw, is in a position to change some minds IF he was gay and IF came-out, so it is irresponsible of him to remain closeted if so... I know it his choice and he is free to do what he wants, but that is not the point, that point is a straw man.


“Now if you want be snarky, go right ahead. “

I do, and I will… lol


“But I didn't say I feel more accepted when I don't tell people. Well, I did, but I followed it with elaboration that I wait until people have started to accept me for me, and then I make it known about myself. So you can try and zero in on one sentence without taking into account the rest of the statement, but it doesn't do much for your argument. And I don't outright say, "I'm gay," unless asked directly. But, in the scenario you described, I don't say anything about finding someone else attractive. As stated before, my scenarios typically end up with me talking about my boyfriend in one way or another. And yes, I've had a couple negative reactions, but it wasn't because I was being 'sneaky.' It was because those people were assholes. More oft than not, however, people react favourably because I simply talk about the subject without making it out to be a big deal. As for agreeing with people that you're doing something wrong by saying a male character is hot, there's nothing WRONG with it, but it is something that doesn't really need to be said, one way or the other. I don't find it neccessary for straight men to talk about how hot they think a woman is, by the same token. Sorry, but talking about that kind of stuff amongst strangers is just something I don't really do because I don't care to hear about who they want to bang, just like they don't want to hear about who I want to bang.”

Good for you, but most people in general engage in conversations that automatically indentify them as one or the other. At work, people mention their loved ones all the time or what they did with their friends, etc... “my wife and I did this” “my boyfriend and I did that” “do you think he/she is hot?” “do you find that person attractive” – etc… I’m sure there are better examples.

Apparently it’s ok for straight people to do this all the time, practically anywhere they are, but not a gay person… or it IS ok, but then any shit they receive for it is their own fault… You sound just like a homophobic straight person. No, REALLY, you do…

I guess you go out of your way to censor yourself from ANYTHING that might even hint at the fact that you’re gay (accept rare times of your choosing) – I have never found straight people to do it, and I certainly don’t do this and I shouldn’t be expected to and am not at fault for the reactions of others. How someone reacts to something you do is entirely their fault - this is true in any setting.


“"Faggot," and any of its derivatives, as well as, "That's gay," ARE okay to say because this is a land of free speech. Do I appreciate it? No. But it is a right they have. But by and large, the negative names used against gays are primarily used against those who -- that's right, folks -- broadcast it. Hell, I can spot the difference between a gay guy and a fag.”

Wow, just wow… There are SO many things wrong this statement; I wouldn’t know where to begin. I think it speaks for itself and the type of gay person YOU are… if you’re really gay to begin with, that is. (snark-snark) Just because someone has a legal right to something doesn’t actually make it right… Slavery was once legal, ya know… And it’s only used more against obviously gay people because the ignorant asshole saying it doesn’t have the opportunity, so to speak, to say it to EVERY type of gay person. You think they have a problem calling you a faggot if they found out even though you’re not, apparently, feminine? I guess YOU don’t deserve it the way a feminine person does, though.


“You want to talk about acceptance, yet you're willing to condemn me because I don't share the same viewpoint you do. You, sir, are a winner. I already stated before that people who want to be who they are, go right ahead, I don't hold anything against them. I just don't think it's helping to be obnoxiously out there about being gay. The ONLY people I look down on are people who give others a reason to stereotype others, be it gays, minorities, any subsets of people. It's absolute horse shit for you to be that judgemental of people while, in the same breath, you're getting yourself in a tizzy over me having an opinion that you find to be judgemental. If people want to remain closeted for their entire lives, let them. Some people don't want to deal with the struggle, and are much happier not being who they are deep down because it would cause them too much grief. So to call others pathetic because they choose to remain closeted is TRULY pathetic, and over-all ridiculous.”

I AM a winner, thank you. I don’t simply condemn anyone who doesn’t share my POV, what a weird assumption on YOUR part. I simply ‘condemned’ yours (rather strong term, I find). Why is it hard for you to rationalize that? I want more understanding and acceptance of the gay community, but I don’t accept a lot of what you say – where is the problem here?

About the ‘pathetic’ comment – your right, I shouldn’t find these people pathetic; I just feel bad that someone at any point, but especially long after realizing who they really are, is still controlled by fear and is overly focused on what other people, including strangers, thinks of them. And so they live their life by that… You are one of them, apparently. How’s that for snarky?

And you look down on people who “give others reasons to stereotype” – first, that is just hateful – second, that doesn’t really make any sense. A stereotype is born out of a perceived common (usually negative) trait of group of people, born out of ignorance and usually having no real validity. “all black people can dance” “most gay people are feminine” Just because the only black people a person has seen dancing did it well or the only people they could tell were gay were the obvious ones doesn’t in any way mean that is actually true for the whole group. This is caused by their ignorance to that group of people, and it’s not the fault of the few who happen to reinforce their ignorant pov.

It is the fault of flaming gay people? Are you for real? It might be part of the reason, but it’s in no way their fault…


“As for the persecution they receive being their own fault, yes, at that point, it is. If you choose to go so far as advertise your sexuality, it is, to an extent, their own fault. Again, by no means do they DESERVE such treatment, but if you're going to out yourself, you'd best be ready to deal with what comes along with it. It's the same thing with any community.”
That doesn’t make ANY sense - ‘it’s partially your fault that you received treatment that you didn’t deserve’ lol! Sorry, hate to get into semantics, but you cannot deserve something if you don’t share in at least some of the fault. Also, being ready for what comes with outing yourself and sharing fault in what others do in reaction to it are two different things. I am still not sure how the person shares the fault for what ignorant people do. I mean, unless were talking some extreme case that doesn’t fit reality where the sign on the road says “we kill gay people in this town” and you walk around making out with lots of boys…


“Of course the gay bashing bothers me."

Unless there were asking for it, right? (snark-snark)


"It does bother me that gay teens are more likely to commit suicide, as well. I was one of them. Two serious attempts, if you care to know. But it isn't a lack of exposure at that point. When a gay teenager wants to off themself, it's typically because they are scared of what their friends and family will feel. At least, that has been my experience when talking with other gays and lesbians who went through sever depression during their teenage years”

The lack of exposure is what causes the ignorance these people have about “being gay” and the “gay community” (which you share, apparently) and their resulting POV’s is why these kids are scared… A gay teenager feels isolation when s/he feels they have nowhere to turn and that no one understands or accepts them for who they are – lack of exposure is one of the primary causes of this…

Like it or not, being gay IS a part of who you are, you don’t just HAPPEN to be it… Based on your reactions and whatever vertical slice I am exposed to of you, I actually think you’re the type of gay person who is worse than the straight people who hold us all back because your views and actions help to enable these people.

I don’t think there is anything more for us to say, so reply if you like, I won’t be coming back to waste anymore words discussing this topic with you. One day, hopefully you will realize why some or most of your views discussed here are simply wrong and not merely ‘different’…

PS – I may, in fact be somewhat off base with who you really are, but I only have the words you have typed to go on, and really, we could leave it at the fact that you would actually blame a person for their persecution… Sorry, that’s wrong. There is no alternate and correct POV. Part of the probles with this country lately is that we’re always told to “see all of the sides & weigh them equally” – sorry, when one of the sides is hateful or ignorant, I don’t have to weight it equally at all… And I shouldn’t have to. It isn’t right…

BINARYGOD said:

@Doc_Chris

Sorry, but just because I can identify as gay on XBL doesn't mean that gives someone the right to say hateful things to me because of it.

I like how you place a sexuality identifier and a hateful reply to it on the same level...

Hate speech is not protected speech.

Regardless, it is against the TOS everyone agree's to when they sign up to send me such a reply, however, identifying my sexuality, gay or straight, is not...

Ry-Guy said:

@Burr

Oiy... Christianity was an EXAMPLE, I'm not saying only Christians are religious zealots. That was simply the example I pulled out of the nether.

And just because you aren't trying to turn others gay doesn't mean that it isn't pushing yourself on them. Some people just don't care to hear anything about it, and the more you push, the more they're going to push back.

@BINARYGOD

Not addressing individual paragraphs because it's late, and you're ignorant.

I will state that I am NOT closeted, nor is my life run by fear. I am simply more intelligent than the loud-mouthed, so-called 'activists' like yourself, and I pick and choose my battles.

Have I taken my boyfriend to a family function as a date? Sure have. Do I hold his hand? No. Why? Because I don't feel like it's going to do anything for the cause. To make change, you have to have someone with vision and the means to MAKE that change. People like you spout off about, "I'm doing this to further our cause, what are YOU doing?" I'm waiting for someone with half a brain to take the reigns and lead us out of this craptastic opression. Keeping my mouth shut until someone capable comes along, THAT is what I'm doing to further our cause.

You certainly like to take a theme and run with it. "Lack of exposure, lack of exposure, lack of exposure." If things were more low key, then people wouldn't be up in arms about this kind of crap, and more people would care LESS about it.

I have tried my hardest to refrain from personal insults and be the bigger man here, but you really are a cetified idiot. You read everything I say, but you only read it so that you know what quotes to pull and how to argue against them. You've not bothered to UNDERSTAND my point of view in any of this, you've simply read the words and tried to plot how you could argue with me. For example:

"You hate to break it to me that in the US, but apparently not elsewhere in the world (LOL!)"

I never ONCE said that sexuality was mostly about sex ONLY in the US. I said that sexuality is about more than sex in other parts of the world, not all. Way to try and make an argument out of nothing.

Another example:

"That doesn’t make ANY sense - ‘it’s partially your fault that you received treatment that you didn’t deserve’ lol! Sorry, hate to get into semantics, but you cannot deserve something if you don’t share in at least some of the fault."

What I said, almost verbatum, is that if you are willing to put out there who/what you are, then you are GOING to encounter resistance. You don't DESERVE it, but it will happen. I honestly cannot see how this could be difficult to understand at all.

I honestly don't wish to get much further into this with you because you WILL NOT get off your high horse and listen to someone else's opinion on matters. That, and I personally do not like dealing with infantile morons. You're exactly the kind of person I DON'T want as a voice of the gay community -- a pissy little queer who gets snippy at the first sign of a differing opinion & whose weapon of choice is a bitchy attitude without anything to back up his arguments.

To finish, the problem, which I will try to address more clearly in one sentence is:

What will activism in the world of VIDEOGAMES do for our cause as far as rights go, seriously? Our president is going to see Microsoft lift a ban on the word 'gay' from gamertags and profile info, and will be spurred into legalizing marriage? No, he won't, he'll wait until the Rainbow Brigade marches on the new Halo map and proclaims they're here, and America better be ready. Really. Really! Really? Come on, now. Activism in the world of gaming is about as pointless as low-carb beer.

This is the absolute last I have to say, because this really isn't worth my time anymore.

Everyone who cares, enjoy your freedom. BINARYGOD, get over yourself and learn to LISTEN to people rather than shift into argument mode.

/END

Doc_Chris said:

@BinaryGod

No offense, but I believe you are taking my reference to "the right to . . . " a bit more literally than I had intended it. If that's the case, I apologize for not wording it better.

Of course I didn't mean that they are granted the infallible right to do so, but in the general way of using it. I merely meant that by allowing them (whoever they are) to be privy to such personal information, it allows them the ability to use such knowledge in a hurtful manner, should they choose to do so.

Also, I do feel that because someone states that they are of a certain orientation, they do so with full knowledge that there are those out there who don't agree and will tell them such.

In essence you ARE giving them the right to say things about you.

Person A: "I'm gay."
Person B: "You're a *Vulgar term*"

If Person A had never openly stated they were gay, the chances of Person B retorting as such is much, much lower.

As far as "Hate speech" being unprotected, I could walk up to you and barrage you with a myriad of insults. Is there something that will stop me? As of current, no there isn't. Just because it isn't protected doesn't mean it can't happen. XBL is the same. Can you file a complaint against it, yes. Is it against the Terms of Service, yes. Will it still happen? Of course it will.

I did place the 2 on the same level. Because they coincide, there is no other place for it. In the latter part of my post I stated "Where there are gays, there are gay bashers", that is because it is the truth.

Team A: We're gay.
Team B: We hate you for it.

Sometimes it is always that black and white, other times it is not.

Whether you agree fully or partially with my OPINION on the matter, it still holds water.

Brandon said:

In the US, Canada, Britain, France, etc there is Free Speech and yes they are allowed to voice their view. However, we also can have a strong and free voice to denounce their view.

Just saying... Ry-Guy. I don't know WHY you have such a problem with all this. After all, I just happen to be NdN (Native American) and we get a shit storm too. Do I need to hide my culture and heritage online now?

News to me.

joe said:

Lot of knee-jerk reactions to my comment, so I'll clarify:

If declaring your sexuality over a game service helps you, then more power to you. Yes, someone who may shout at/team kill you is still a jerk, but why even go out of your way to "LGBT-ize" your gamertag on a service where the majority just wants to pla games?

That's what I meant. Also, some of you assume I am straight. Think what you want.

Burr said:

Ry-Guy that doesn't respond to my point at all. My point is your Jesus example isn't even an example of zealotry at all, which only supports what I'm saying. I'm okay with people telling me they're Christian. Why should they have a problem when I tell them in turn that I'm gay? No zealotry, just facts. Would it be better in some ways if everyone could keep all their irrelevant personal facts to themselves? Sure, but good luck with that. At least now everything will be on even ground in this arena.

I'm not really that much of an "out" person IRL or an activist myself (hence why I'm not going to be adding it to my profile any time soon), but I've learned my gay history and studied the polls and it definitely proves that visibility is a HUGE factor in progress. Support for marriage equality goes up when people know someone who is gay. All this talk about blowback against overly visible gays is poppycock considering everything has been trending towards more acceptance ever since Stonewall and pride parades, the most obnoxious in your face activities out there.. The decades and centuries before of being in the closet got us absolutely nowhere by contrast.

Yes it's silly to consider gaming as a space for this sort of thing, but we have to be consistent in asserting our dignity, and the more people that get to know us the better. So even though I won't be taking advantage of the new policy, I won't stew and boil in my room getting pissed at those that do. Quite the opposite in fact.

Christ0pher said:

Who cares anyway...Just another way to make people feel validated in their way of life. I would not wish my UNDERAGE child to game with a person who may or may not be a recruiter. This just opens up a forum in morality, where we all just want to have some fun..JUST STOP.

dawdle said:

Christ0pher,

Recruiter? Seriously? If you think gay people want to "recruit" your child into homosexuality, you are seriously deluded. If you're worried about pedophiles (most of whom identify as straight), I'm pretty sure they haven't been added to the list of appropriate terms on Xbox Live, so you'll still have to DO YOUR JOB AS A PARENT and protect him or her using the tools that are currently at your disposal.

Identifying ourselves as gay and lesbian isn't a question of morality - it's a matter of fact. We have boyfriends, husbands, kids, families, and just saying "I'm gay" doesn't have anything to do with what we do in the bedroom any more than someone else saying, "I'm married with a kid" refers to their sex life. If you're worried that your child will find out that gays, you know, exist, well good luck keeping those blinders on. How about so you don't have to worry about protecting another kid from the big bad gay, you just go ahead and castrate yourself right now?

Rene said:

All I know is that I can finally go on live and find other people to play with without having to worry about MS making me change my name!


sleepygaymer!

lorax1284 said:

+1 for visibility.

Could I suggest that someone post a how-to (or even suggest 'best practices") for adding your sexual orientation on your profile?

I don't want to change my gamertag from "lorax1284" to something that has one of the previously banned words in it... I would like to be visible and if my profile shows up in a list somewhere have that show up there... perhaps there could be techniques for "activist", "out and proud", and "discrete" gamers? (of course, if you don't want your orientation exposed at all, no problem, but if you want to know how much exposure it will get, that would be nice. We should all be allowed to decide for ourselves how 'out' to be, but I don't know what will offer the most exposure vs. the least.

And girls who like girls who like rumble packs!

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