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PlayNerd Drops His Drawers And Returns To The Wild

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Anthony Carboni is the host of crazy popular webshow Bytejacker, which reviews games for all download services (Xbox Marketplace, WiiWare, Playstation Network, PC, and iDevices). He has lent his writing talent and vocal personality to Secret Base's new browser-based zombie survival arcade game, Bitejacker. He'll also be hosting the 2011 Independent Games Festival Awards Ceremony during GDC. Riding on the high of his show, new fame, and new game, Anthony agreed to a PlayNerd photo shoot if he could live out a furry fantasy. Little did he know that Gaygamer could turn his dream, and thousands of Bytejacker and furry fans' dreams, into reality.

What was your initial reaction to being accepted as a PlayNerd Centerfold model?

The first thing I did was call my mother, both because I like to share every triumph in my life with her and because it's hilarious to keep her guessing about my sexual orientation.

After the adrenaline high wore off, I immediately called my dance instructor, my clowning/pantomime coach, and a local zookeeper to help me really understand the essence and movement of a cheetah. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it.

How long have you had a furry inclination?

I'm calling 'leading the witness' on this one... But, like, forever.

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Unfortunately, Cheetah-Anthony didn't disclose any other oral fixations.

What about your job excites you?

I LOVE hearing from people that I introduced them to a new favorite game, a new developer, or the indie scene in general. I also love the (all-too-rare) opportunities to talk to developers about what they do. Indie developers are a really a very special kind of person who excel in everything. It's probably the most complicated and multidisciplinary art form I've run across, and it takes a singularly driven person to do it.

I've yet to meet a boring game developer.

What games have gotten you the most worked up?

In terms of anger, we actually did an episode about the top 10 games to ever frustrate the hell out of me.

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Emotionally, I'd say NiGHTS and Klonoa got me pretty choked up. I've never had sexy feelings for a game, but I get pretty close when I play Galaga or Tempest.

What's the secret behind your presentable package?

First of all, thank you for noticing. Package grooming and presentation is a very important part of my daily ritual. I'd say moisturize, hydrate, and only use women's ankle-high running socks to stuff your briefs.

What happens when cheetahs drink caffeine?

No human eye is fast enough to see it, not even David Attenborough's.

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Speaking of caffeine and presentable packages...

What gaming characters do you think are hot?

Dana Plato in Night Trap. (Miss you, boo). Espio the Chameleon has an accent and soulful eyes. More like Knuckles Cha-HOT-ix, AM I RIGHT?

Add one to the Kama Sutra book: If sex were done Bitejacker-style, how would it happen?

Well, first, there would be a login required to even request sex. Then maybe an additional micro-payment. Thirty seconds of pre-roll later, you'd be getting it on for a solid 2.5 minutes until the next commercial break.

How do you hold your joystick?

Gingerly, as I have minor carpal tunnel syndrome.

What's the biggest joystick you've played with?

I don't know about biggest, but thanks to Virtual On, I am particularly good at handling two at once. That is most likely the first double-entendre I've ever made where adding "...ladies" to the end doesn't work.

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What's the longest time you've played alone nonstop? With someone else?

The one and only MMO I ever got hooked on, EVER, was Phantasy Star Online. I would play for 16 hours straight. It's probably the most pathetic MMO to be hooked on. It was completely remedial - like one step BELOW Maple Story. I would play until the American servers cleared out at night, then move to Japanese ones, then to European ones. It was ridiculous.

With a group, the longest was about a day. The first kid who got a Super Nintendo in my neighborhood had a sleepover and we stayed up and played through Super Mario World in its entirety.

What's the biggest group you've played in?

Saturn Bomberman. 8 players in one room. Things got sexy. Sorry, I meant "things got competitive." Why don't things ever get sexy?

[Play Bitejacker for free here. For those who want to see this PlayNerd without the paint, Anthony also has mostly wholesome photos to which even his mother couldn't object.]

8 Comments

faePuck said:

This is awesome! Who knew there was so much sexy to go with the talent in the indie journalism scene! Anyone else hoping we see a glimpse of Cheetah-Anthony at GDC? :3

At the very least, there should be some Cheetah photo action and Gaygamer announcement at IGF Awards Ceremony. Talk about ice breaker!

smallvizier said:

Uh, wow! That's a great shoot.

Limade said:

He is hilarious and adorable, continuing the awesome indie PlayNerd trend set forth thus far. I'm really loving it.

Necrosiris said:

That was wonderful, I appreciated this.

Glad you all enjoyed! I figured the kitty cat would bring more people, but you never can tell. You gaymers, like Anthony Carboni, love to keep us guessing!

Desu said:

Where did you put this article's substance? I want to see it :(

barricas said:

That wine is so refreshing on a humid, sticky Memphis summer day. I love it on the patio.

And girls who like girls who like rumble packs!

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barricas on PlayNerd Drops His Drawers And Returns To The Wild: That wine is so refreshing on a humid, sticky Memphis summer day. I love it on the patio....

Desu on PlayNerd Drops His Drawers And Returns To The Wild: Where did you put this article's substance? I want to see it :(...

MorrigansMuse on PlayNerd Drops His Drawers And Returns To The Wild: Glad you all enjoyed! I figured the kitty cat would bring more people, but you never can tell. You gaymers,...

Necrosiris on PlayNerd Drops His Drawers And Returns To The Wild: That was wonderful, I appreciated this....

Limade on PlayNerd Drops His Drawers And Returns To The Wild: He is hilarious and adorable, continuing the awesome indie PlayNerd trend set forth thus far. I'm really loving it....

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