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Video: Hilarious 3DS Review From CNN

CNN is a respected source for regular news, but I'm starting to think that they're not as reliable with their tech beat.JP Mangalindan from Fortune gives us his review of Nintendo's new 3DS handheld here, but unfortunately, he's a little... off on a few facts, which makes his opinion, well... less-than-useful.

The first thing that cracked me up was when he described himself as a hardcore gamer who "grew up on Halo." Really? Well, we're so glad that a handheld gaming device finally has graphics good enough for you, even if it's no PlayStation 3, as you note. Those of us who grew up with Atari 2600 or even NESes remember when playing a green-tinted Tetris in the palm of your hand was amazing.

I also enjoyed when he describes the AR Games as "part real world, part... make believe, I guess." Yeah. I guess part of them aren't real.

He calls out the price tag as being $50 more than the Wii, which is true. But to then also say that the iPhone and iPod Touch are technically cheaper and do more? Well, of course they do. One's a phone and both can run a multitude of apps. But they're not dedicated gaming systems with these kind of graphics, and they're certainly not in 3D!

I will grant him the poor battery life. But why does he insist on comparing the 3D to the iPhone and iPod Touch? Saying that the 3DS only does one thing is also way off. It can also play music and movies — 3D movies, even — and as soon as Nintendo gets that eStore up and running, just wait and see how many little downloadable games show up. And the style being retro? It's pretty much the same as the standard DS, which came out just seven years ago. Is seven years retro now?

But clearly, this guy is not aware of the existence of the DS, because he complains about how the 3DS takes cartridges, "something we haven't seen since the last Game Boy." Game Boy? Are you being serious right now? And I guess he isn't aware that the eStore is coming because he claims you can't download games and grassroots developers can't develop for it. Mr. Mangalindan, I'd like to introduce you to a little something we call DSiWare. Look it up.

But maybe my favorite part is when he says "to add insult to injury, perhaps, it also uses a stylus. Something we haven't seen since Palm devices in the early 2000s." Seriously? The various incarnations of the DS have sold almost 150 million units worldwide, and every single one of them came with a stylus.

Wow. Just... wow. You have to laugh. Because the alternative is too sad to consider.


Lucrece said:

It's called frivolity. Brought to you from the type of people who upgrade from a 1 year old iPad into the next "best model", even when the previous one is pretty much functional.

Spoiled upper middle/high class brats. They completely lose perspective of so many things.

Nectan said:

All I have to say is thank you for pointing out the errors of the CNN report. I do not even come close to your Guru knowledge and I found the review funny. I love playing games on my iphone but has he seen what a DSi game can do. (sorry have not seen a 3DS up and personal yet) hoping this friday.

Gogoedward said:

"Myriad OF" stuck out to me.

He has some point with the iPhone/iPod/iTouch competition idea, but fails to recognize even once that the games being developed for the 3DS aren't anything like those being developed for the iProducts.No one is going into a store and saying "I want a gaming handheld...better get an iPad!"

Overall it just reeks of unpreparedness and lack of research. Sadly, this sort of thing is what a large portion of consumer America will see rather than going to more reputable gaming or tech centric news sources.


D-lite said:

He grew up with games like "Halo," um need we say more! I love when he says such things as "We haven't seen cartridges since the days of gameboy. Yeah about that, what happened to the ds did you just completely ignore it's ridiculously successful numbers. Plus making a graphically pretty system doesn't really appease hardcore gamers it appeals to casual gamers. Groan Fail on the chicken noodle network's part.

Jack said:

He lost me when he referred to himself as a "Hardcore gamer" that grew up on "Halo".


dm3k said:

Oh god. That was an epic fail from CNN's part.
The only thing close to a valid point is that 3DS will be harder for indies to develop for (Iwata is totally against cheap games and Nintendo will retain the right to fix the prices of the games submitted ti 3DSWare).
But, he even managed to mess up his only point that wouldn't be ridiculous.

PS. He could say something about region locking and remote disabling. These are some really bad choices by Nintendo.

Dignified Pauper said:

Um... Since when did hardcore gamers grow up on Halo?

Yawn! said:

You know, whether you agree with his opinion or not, it's terrible journalism on YOUR part to be ripping apart his review. Especially on a website, when your little rant could have easily been a Twitter or Facebook post.

I used to love when it wasn't "Wootini's Nintendo-biased website". It's articles like this that make me wonder why I still visit this site.

jedipookie said:

First off, great find Wootini! I laughed for quite a while. As for "Yawn!"'s post; Wootini works for THIS site. It's not as big as Twitter or Facebook. A certain group of people come here to see his work. If you don't agree, then don't come here. As for "terrible journalism", you obviously don't know anything about journalism, because journalists critique constantly (ie CNN vs. FOX News).

Great work, keep it up WOOTINI

benwa said:

Wow, Yawn! who pissed in your wheaties. Anyway Wootini, after reading your article I thought to myself how hot your writing gets me. I wasn't going to say anything until the guy attacked you for attacking CNN. CNN is no longer as reliable as they once were and this article is prof that they continue to fail american families.

Bearfamily said:

This was pure and utter script reading, and the people that wrote that script only vaguely understood what gaming from the brief wikipedia searches they did:

Search:"games a lot"
Results: Hardcore Gamer

Search: Hardcore Gamer
Results: I'm a Hardcore Gamer and I love Halo.

Moron 1)"Ok guys to sound credible we need to include Halo, whatever that is, and Hardcore Gamer in one sentence"

Moron 2) Also we don't have any need to actually look back at things gamers would actually know like the last incarnations of the DS or anything that's just a waste of time now that we have our ULTRA CREDIBLE HALO / HARDCORE GAMER LINE!"

Mittens said:

Did you see Destructoid's post on the same review? It's AWESOME!! (Don't look Yawn!; you'll hate it.)

Thank you for alerting me to this spectacle of glorious incompetence, Wootini!

Jaron said:

I feel like this is the "criteria" needed by CNN to be a tech reviewer:


As long as these two prerequisites are met, you're golden. As for the product you are reporting on/reviewing, you have to know NOTHINGGGG.

Jonny D said:

CNN hasn't be a reliable news station in years and it comes as no surprise they hire such bad reporters and reviewers. The fact they even let something like this on the air is amazing, guess nowadays you just pull some spoiled geek's video off of YouTube and call it news.
Mr. Hardcore Halo can have his crappy game he grew up on, the rest of us know what real gaming is

Orange_Drake said:

The problem is the apples to oranges comparison. If you're reviewing the 3DS as a generalized device and direct competitor to the iPhone/iPad it's going to come out looking like gimmicky crap because it's not meant to be an iPhone. It's a dedicated gaming device blows those out of the water in GAMING. This review segment looks like it was never meant to review gaming devices in the first place.

Xeno said:

This guy is an idiot ^^ the stylus thing cracked me up hard-

Rahzen said:

Damn. Would it have killed him to do a little more research? He's like a 5th grader who half-assed his book report. I have never even owned a Nintendo handheld and I noticed the stench of misinformation all over that "review".

Ryan said:

Please mister cnn reviewer go off yourself with a copy of halo it will be the smartest thing you've ever done... and hella "hard core!"

rickq said:

What a BIG LOOSER. He just don´t understand what Nintendo is all about. He just needs to get back when most of us started first Nintendo products and games. Idiotic review made by pure idiot.

And girls who like girls who like rumble packs!

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