1992: It was a simpler time for gaming, before HD graphics, surround sound, and controllers with more than three buttons. A game's story was usually little more than an ill-conceived mish-mash of a plot dreamed up during the lead designer's latest relapse, and combat was bare-bones -- from what i learned during that golden era of beat 'em ups, it seemed that all of life's problems would be solved by a lead pipe to the solar plexus. Out of this came Streets of Rage 2, a game that, despite being comically simplistic by modern standards, remains a classic in the eyes of us bitter old men who secretly yearn for the days of our youth. We grudgingly admit that, on the whole, things have improved -- games have become more sophisticated, graphics are becoming more and more realistic, and women certainly aren't clad in barely-there outfits that scarcely cover impossibly large features -- still there's something universally appealing about the simple pleasure of pummeling the ever-loving bejesus out of cartoonish foes until out lust for battle is satisfied.
While the heyday of Sega may be little more than a bitter, half-recalled memory, the legend of Streets of Rage lives on, as the second installment in the series has found a new home on the App Store. The game is currently available for $2.99, so hop on the great information superhighway with your sleek and sexy iDevice and check out the wondrous, old-school romp that is Streets of Rage 2.