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Wootini's Weekly Animal Crossing Diary

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Dear Diary,

I'd like to say it was a quiet week in Narnia, but while there wasn't a lot of activity, what there was was rather surprising. Can't say much more without ruining said surprises, so you'll just have to read on...

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This took me completely by surprise. I mean, Stitches only just moved into town. I had no idea he was even thinking about moving. Although I suppose if I'd been chattier with him he might have mentioned something....

It just irks me that I have been giving Violet the coldest shoulder I can possibly manage, yet that big purple ape still hangs around. I wish there was a way to somehow torment people into moving. Because I would. Perfectly nice neighbors keep moving away, and Violet is still here. Why? It's not fair!

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And I don't mean to be rude or anything, but Winnie here is in no way, shape, or form an equivalent replacement for Stitches. Winnie is just a horse. I mean, I guess it's kind of interesting that she's wearing a cow print dress, but she's still a horse. Who knew that horses and cows were such mortal enemies that they wear each others' skins to prove their superiority?

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You've gotta admire how lazy some of these animals are. I mean, Octavian makes a big deal out of giving me some kind of secret mission and it's just to deliver a package to Derwin. Who was seriously just across the bridge from where Octavian was standing at that moment. Seriously, it took me like, three seconds to just walk over the bridge and land right at Derwin's house. And it's not even like Derwin liked the shirt Octavian sent him that much, either. What a colossal waste of time! I miss when they used to ask you to deliver something to a neighbor who wasn't actually in their house. That made sense. Who wants to wander around the entire town looking for someone? Well, actually, not me, either, but since I have to pass through the whole place to water my flowers and keep Narnia looking beautiful, I don't usually mind!

And girls who like girls who like rumble packs!

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