I'd like to think of myself as a cultured gentleman. All evidence points to the contrary, but aside from looking good in print, there is the faintest specter of truth to the notion that on occasion, I can rise above my cretinous station and, in a very sincere way, strive for something intellectually and emotionally satisfying.
Yet despite an appreciation for some of the finer things in life - the poetry of language, deadpan wit, the sweeping melodies of a concerto or the heart-wrenching wail of an electric guitar - every now and again one needs to take a moment to climb to the summit of Mount Ridiculous and stand in awe of the boundless Dumbscape. Today, my personal journey, and perhaps yours too, comes in the form of Jaws: Ultimate Predator. Part commentary on the frailty of life, part stinging rebuke of the capitalist system (Shark = Owning Class; Fishermen = Working Class), Jaws: Ultimate Predator is, when viewed through the prism of unbridled imagination, an existential odyssey without equal.
Despite this, the game looks to be a bit of fluff, juxtaposing fun and frolic with vicious, anti-swimmer violence. Jaws's content has earned it an M rating, a bit of a rarity on the 3DS. So enjoy the trailer, put on your dunce cap, and dive headlong into the murky depths, in search of what the kids these days call "nummers."
Jaws: Because sometimes you just want to pretend you're a shark that eats people.