McSweeney's can often be visited for a quick chuckle and guffaw. Thanks to my friends Regina and Alex, I found this particular piece, from the perspective of Samus Aran.
Which is to say she supports same-sex marriage because she herself is a lesbian.
The entire read is worthwhile, but here's a little snippet to grab your attention.
Why have I kept this a secret for so long? That's hard for me to say. The nature of my work forces me to silence. Working as mercenary, it's far better to let my arm-cannon do the talking. Plus, the way I chose to express myself tended towards the unorthodox. I wrote a book of poems entitled Morphing Inside My Varia Suit, which failed to find a publisher. I would flit between one relationship and another, hopping inside my gunship and speeding off to the next planet before things got too serious. Then the Mother Brain decided to outlaw same-sex marriage on planet SR-388. Planets Tallon IV, Aether and my birth planet K-2L followed suit. What year are we living in? Earth Year 2009? It's time for the universe to redefine its narrow concept of marriage.
Either Kickstarter doesn't exist in Ms. Aran's universe, or she needs to get on using it as a way to publish her book of poetry. Who knows, she might give Sappho a run for her money.
Also, I am now looking at that arm-cannon in an entirely new light.