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Saturday Silliness: Sweden Using Kinect To Aid Our Future Robot Masters

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From time immemorial, The Illuminati futurists have sough to show mankind a world - a promising new world indeed - aptly called "the future." Technology would rule the roost: cars would fly overhead, nanomachines would heal our every wound, neural implants would enhance our every thought, and naturally, mundane tasks would be delegated to our godless, soulless, machine-servants. While said future has proven to be a bit of a letdown - cancer is as popular as ever, and our greatest automotive advance is that we can run vehicles on batteries and f*cking corn - technophiles still hold hope that we humans may one day subjugate the silicon masses, heralding a sort of robot equivalent of the Old Confederacy.

Meanwhile, in what will be referred to in future textbooks as "the fatal error of the Organic Scourge," the task is being crowdsourced (in part) to Kinect owners. Indeed, Sweden's Center for Autonomous Systems, at the Royal Institute of Technology, has expressed an interest in aiding visual recognition for "home robots." At present, the AI in these mechanical serfs, and their capacity for grasping the environment in which they find themselves, faces some challenges. According to the BBC, "While humans have no trouble recognising objects such as a tea mug even if it is a different colour, shape and size to those they have seen before, robots struggle to complete such a mundane task." To remedy this, Kinect users are being encouraged to use the device's camera - loaded with one of those fancy, infra-red sensors - to map common household objects. The idea is that by compiling an extensive visual database, robots' software will be able to better comprehend every day things by their general characteristics. Those wishing to participate can download a browser add-on from Kinect@Home. According to Project Coordinator Alper Aydemir, "When capturing data, one should move rather slowly and avoid big empty spaces [...] Aside from that, it's as easy as hitting a button on the recording page."

So there you go, gamers. Naysayers be damned; your pastime is helping to forge a brave new future - one that will have absolutely no apocalyptic consequences - while everyone else sits back and watches football - and said future could be coming sooner than we think. In the meantime, while a hapless humanity collectively stops just short of teaching SkyNet how to open doors, yours truly will be hedging his bets on the side of the machines. May the grace of BallmerBot X22zUS - Grand Sovereign of the Federated Servers of America - fall upon you, and usher your consciousness into the hive mind. Your neural firmware will receive an update shortly, and thank you for your compliance.

via BBC

2 Comments

Heedless Horseman said:

I don't know why, but I expect that a bunch of people will use this to map their sex toys.

SuperSwede said:

Nothing says "I'm doing science" quite like teaching your Kinect the difference between a dildo and a dildo with... Shall we say, a "fun time" attachment.

And girls who like girls who like rumble packs!

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SuperSwede on Saturday Silliness: Sweden Using Kinect To Aid Our Future Robot Masters: Nothing says "I'm doing science" quite like teaching your Kinect the difference between a dildo and a dildo with... Shall...

Heedless Horseman on Saturday Silliness: Sweden Using Kinect To Aid Our Future Robot Masters: I don't know why, but I expect that a bunch of people will use this to map their sex toys....

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