image via IGN
5:00: Andrew House taking the stage, thus interrupting Sony’s Laser Light show. Talking about the Vita — or as some call it, “Not the PS4 seriously no one gives a f*ck today.”
5:10: For those who needed to be reminded, Clever British Villain has reminded us that this is a PS4 event.
5:15: x84 processor, eight-cores, eight gigs of RAM. Beast.
5:17: Yep, the leaked controller pretty close to the real deal… touchpad looks a bit larger, and there is a “share” button.
5:20: If everyone at Pixar took acid and was locked inside a room for two days, they would come up with something like Knack.
5:24: Ps4 will have a sort of “sleep” mode, “background” uploading/downloading with some kind of silicon sorcery. Users can play games while they are being downloaded.
5:30: Dave Perry promises PS4 will “learn” about you, definitely will not use knowledge of your weaknesses to kill you.
5:32: Gaikai future-magic allows PSN friends to take over your game when you are having difficulty, thus making you less of a chump, if only vicariously.
5:38: PS4 will feature Facebook, Amazon, Hulu, etc.
5:39: Various developers humping the mechanical leg, rehashing previous talking points.
5:48: Co-founder of Guerilla Games taking the stage has introduced trailer for Killzone: Shadow Fall. Looks rather boring, like a tour through some kind of high-res, throwaway area in Second Lif– Ahh, and now people are being killed. Well played, Killzone…
5:57: Listening to a man talking about Driveclub. Never has a man spoken with such passion about a generic racing game.
6:08: Braid creator Jonathan Blow taking the stage, talking about new game The Witness. Promises puzzle-based, open-world gameplay that takes gamers on an emotional odyssey “from confusion to understanding.”
6:13: Will be “25 hours” long, PS4 exclusive. Trailer just wrapped up: T-minus two hours before everyone and their mother compares it to Myst.
6:14: David Cage taking the stage, descending from a staircase made of pretentiousness.
6:15: Old man face, i’ll admit it: you are pretty impressive.
6:20: Media Molecule taking the stage… will be on my sh*t list if there is no voiceover from Stephen Fry.
6:23: 3-D sculpting demonstration shows that the Move may, at long last, have some redeeming features.
6:26: Media Molecule’s “Move” demonstration shows players manipulating adorable, cartoony rock band. Also shows that you don’t need a Kinect to thrash around like a complete twit.
6:30: Demo of Deep Down, running on the Panta Rhei engine. Swords and fire and dragons, oh my! I suddenly have the urge to lock myself in my room and play Dark Souls for three days straight.
6:35: Squeenix takes the stage, reaffirming its commitment to never releasing Versus.
6:37: As expected, Square-Enix trailer is visually lovely, stylish, and full of action.
6:42: Gamers are to be “excited” about E3, over something Final Fantasy-related (i’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s a game)
6:44: Ubisoft introducing live demo of Watch Dogs:a game about how smartphones and Facebook are leading down a path that can only end with SkyNet.
6:48: Watch Dogs actually looks quite interesting… Hacking, vigilantism, and of course, sticking it to the man from a third-person perspective.
6:55: Blizzard and Sony have “entered a strategic partnership,” will be bringing Diablo III to PS4. Features local four-player co-op.
6:57 Activision reaffirms commitment to Sony, promises to bring “multiple blockbuster titles [...] during the launch window.” Will be bringing Bungie to the world of PlayStation, Destiny will be coming to the console. Bungie team says Destiny, “lets you access the content you love from multiple devices.”
7:03: The Sony event has concluded. PS4 will be released “Holiday 2013.”