Author Archive

As should be evident by now, your humble and obedient servant is a creature of spite – yet few things inspire greater loathing than those who prey on others. Said loathing finds its form in the dream of a new world – a bright and beautiful one – in which no bully is un-emasculated, no *ss un-kicked, and naturally, no d*chebag un-pantsed amidst a cacophony of laughter and jeers. Yet there are those precious few in this world who take the high road, possessing a heart made less of black fire and vengeance, and more of what medical science calls, “actual heart.”

Such is the case of Caine, a boy whose story is dismally common in the unpleasantness that is childhood. Indeed, he has been subjected to verbal and physical abuse from fellow students, due to that most egregious of worldly wrongs: being different. Exacerbating matters is the fact that Caine has two moms, making him a natural target for those who have grown up with what we will charitably call the “traditional values” mentality. In order to provide some respite from the daily harassment. In his words, “gaming actually really helps me a lot to calm down and get out of the troubling parts of my life.”

Yet despite this outlet, the reality of bullying remains. Rather than turning to violence or hiding his experiences, our stalwart Texan has decided to speak out not only to The Bully Project; he decided to address the superintendent directly. So check out the video, and as always, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below!

via upworthy.com

Often times, I’m quick to write off “retro” elements – be they pixelated graphics, resurrecting old genres, and the like – as fellow residents of the Isle of Misfit Gimmicks: a turgid cesspit where good ideas find no harbor, and mediocrity rules the roost. Yet there’s something strangely compelling about the visual style – grainy textures, slightly malformed character models, and the like – that not only give an organic sort of grit to environments; they somehow give the game a surreal tinge that more “advanced” renderings – however painstakingly adorned with blood and rust they may be – never quite achieved. The same sort of feel applies to The Last Door, the Kickstarter-funded project by The Game Kitchen, a three-man operation based in what no one calls “Merry Olde Spain.”  MORE >>

Sims enthusiasts are a diverse breed. Some enjoy its feel-good charm; some find themselves powerless against its addictive nature. Then there are those who prefer trapping these hapless pixel-folk until they succumb to starvation – a kind of grisly homage to “The Cask of Amontillado” – or shouting lines from the Book of Revelation while the houses of digital sinners erupt in flames.

Regardless, the series has been enormously successful, selling tens of million of units during its lifetime. 2014 holds great promise for Sims fans, with the announcement that The Sims 4 will be coming to both PC and Mac. Sadly, Maxis has divulged few details beyond the existence of the game, though to allay fears that the company (a subsidiary of EA) might follow in the drunken stumbling footsteps of Sim City, a press release sent to The Sims Hub describes the game as a “single-player offline experience.” The full press release can be found after the jump.

What do you think, gamers? Are you excited for the Sims 4? Should EA adopt yours truly’s idea for a “Beast from the Air/Sea/Land FunTime Armageddon (featuring music from Carl Orff) DLC Combo Pack?” Sound off in the comments section below!

via The Sims Hub

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When it comes to fighting piracy, there are a few approaches one can take. If you’re the RIAA, you can make examples of people by threatening to sue them into poverty. If you’re looking for something absolutely foolproof, you can try this newfangled “always-online” business. Yet there is a third way: one that brings the promise of aversion with a few dollups of prankishness: releasing a “pirated” version of one’s game that has been deliberately sabotaged. Such was the route taken by Greenheart Games, developer of Game Dev Tycoon.

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When it comes to “retro” graphics, we’re met with a mixed bag. Some games pull it off with charm; others simply add to binary sump: condemning visual style of old to the Island of Misfit Gimmicks, battling zombies and post-apocalyptic settings for the least effective method of masking one’s lack of imagination. Yet every now and again, one of said Island’s inhabitants shows signs of being what those in the business call, “worth playing.” MORE >>

Regular readers know that your humble and obedient servant has been a site contributor for the better part of two years: passing along news, defiling the game-scape with self-indulgent humor, and engaging in what media professionals call “attempted commentary.” Yet as per our newfangled bios – providing evidence that we are living, breathing flesh-things, and not some elaborate sub-programs of “NewsBot X22AF” – yours truly is, and as long as lady-lumps remain on the forefront of loveliness, a straight man. MORE >>

There are two things we know about British people – one indisputably true, the other, a result of inference. The former is that they represent the very height of class and sophistication: their minds harboring clever witticisms and salvos of wordplay that would make the most fervent english-geek blush. In light of this, we can only conclude that they must be robots. MORE >>