Jesse Gmitro


About Jesse Gmitro

(Writer) Jesse Gmitro is the self-proclaimed "resident ally/lady-fancier" of -- a position he has held since 2011 - and a shameless fanboy of Metal Gear, pre-Homecoming Silent Hill, and Final Fantasy. He plays drums in a local post-rock band called "Between Two Skies," and is currently working on a black comedy novella, "The Madcap Laughs." He currently lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Metacritic Lays Waste To The (Sim)Cities Of Man 2

There is a specter haunting Electronic Arts: the shadow of one whose name has been spoken only in whispers.  It is the specter of Metacritic. Yes, Metacritic: the faceless horror of a thousand angry mouths, from which is spat a thousand curses of untold savagery. It is a ruthless, relentless beast: one […]

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QuakeCon 2013 Date, Location Announced

As a novelty bumper sticker once said: “One is ill-advised to mess with Texas; for to do so would invite ire from the locals.” Yet fragging is messy business; as such, QuakeCon 2013 dares, however innocently, to violate this time-honored command. Indeed, Doom-hounds, Quake enthusiasts, and purveyors of LAN parties will be take […]


The Witness Not A PS4 Exclusive 1

When Jonathan Blow recently unveiled The Witness, some of my fellow writer-folk reported that the game would be a PS4 exclusive – including yours truly. Indeed, as noted in the liveblog frolic – sometime after the Driveclub demonstration evoked whatever the opposite of “pure, existential bliss” is, but before the […]