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June 12
2014

E3 2014: Surgeon Simulator is Opening a New Practice on PS4

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[NOTE: All screenshots are from the PC version of the game]

It’s not often that a game being as bad as you remember is a selling point.

Surgeon Simulator, the self-proclaimed “most Monty Python game anyone ever did”, recently announced a move to the PlayStation 4. I had the chance to speak to Imra Jele, co-founder of Bossa Studios and get a few minutes with the current console build this week at E3, and happily found that the PS4′s motion controls work well about as well as an addition to this game’s purposefully awkward control setup could.

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June 12
2014

Wootini’s Weekly Animal Crossing Diary

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Dear Diary,

While everyone else gets to live it up at E3, I was living my regular little life and enjoying the fun in Geneva. There was a lot of time capsule action, and weirdly… no new resident. I’m a little worried that it’s been a long time since Chow moved out and no one new has moved in. Geneva is an absolutely fabulous town and anyone in their right mind would kill to live here. There’s only a limited number of spaces available, and it hurts me deeply to think that they’re not all filled!

Read on to find out about all the action this week!

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June 12
2014

E3 2014: Square Enix Brings Same-Sex Marriage to Final Fantasy XIV

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Square Enix disappointed me at this year’s E3. Their lineup looked remarkably similar to last year’s, and the highly anticipated (and eight years in development) Final Fantasy XV as well as Kingdom Hearts III were absolutely nowhere to be found. Instead we got an HD remake of a bunch of old games, a mobile rhythm title, and yet another huge push for Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn. But then, during a live roundtable discussion of the recently relaunched MMORPG producer Naoki Yoshida made an announcement that put quite the smile on my face.

Gay marriage is coming to the world of Eorzea.

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June 12
2014

E3 2014: Defend – A Story About the Hostage From Rainbow Six: Siege

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I hear her begging for help in the corner.

Turning, I see her bending down and pleading into a small wheeled camera drone on the floor of the laundry room. I shoot at it and miss. Another slides in from under the barricade I had placed in the doorway from the garage. The two form a semi circle around her left side, more interested in her animation cycles (or her butt, if the second camera’s position meant anything) than scouting the rest of the traps my team laid in the house.

I don’t blame them, she’s fascinating. After she gives her only lines the Rainbow Six: Siege hostage falls into the worried shuffling routine she’ll perform on loop for the next three minutes unless picked up or shot. I didn’t have to tell her to get down, nor will I have to give her orders at any time during the SWAT team’s raid on our fortified McMansion.

A diamond hotspot sitting above her head reads “Defend”. That’s what I call her, since she lacks a personality or any agency. Defend is a object, just not in the way we’re used to objectified women, particularly of the blonde variety. She is an object with fascinating, Alpha-build hair that dances and wiggles along her scalp with the slightest movement. The SWAT team has busted into the McMansion and taken out one of my teammates, giving them the 5-4 advantage. It takes me a second to notice, Defend is just so intriguing in her vacuousness.

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June 12
2014

E3 2014: Splatoon, Nintendo’s Adorable Answer to Shooters

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This E3 was swamped with new shooters: Tom Clancy’s The Division, Battlefield Hardline, Halo 5: Guardians, Call of Duty Advanced Warfare, and many more. While these games are assured moneymakers, they are hardly innovative and fresh. “Hey look! You’re a nondescript white guy shooting up someone in a brand new world of greyscale! Buy it now!” It gets a little monotonous.

Luckily, Nintendo has decided to step into the ring with their own shooter. Well more like they decided to just design their own ring. While everyone else showed off more generic scruffy white guys with guns Nintendo thought, “Hey! What if we had girls? Who are also squids?”

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June 11
2014

E3 2014: Lords of the Fallen feels like Dark Souls without the fun

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The toughest enemy in your game should not be the camera.

Lords of the Fallen is an upcoming action-role playing game from City Interactive and Deck13 Interactive, and wears its two primary inspirations on its heavy spiked gauntlets. The art design – especially when it comes to characters – would look right at home in a Darksiders sequel, and the combat is gunning for the tactical edge and difficulty curve of the Dark Souls franchise. It’s the latter that I got my hands with both the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 version of the game during E3 this week for a quick hands-on impression.

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June 11
2014

E3 2014: Nintendo Is Finally Starting To Get It. Fans Are The Driving Force.

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This year, Nintendo is taking a step in the right direction by addressing their fans and establishing a better relationship them. The lighthearted approach on presenting their information this year with Mega64 and The Robot Chicken team was a smart move on their part. The ridiculous Nintendo Digital Event presentation was a welcomed surprise compared to the usual dry and formal presentations from years past.

The shining star of Nintendo’s efforts came in the form of the Smash Bros. Invitational tournament. It might sound biased given I’m an obsessive Smash Bros. fan but having been at the Invitational myself, the amount of passion and excitement from all the series’ fans was contagious.

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